A Paragraph With The Mariners – 35

This team’s a joke … but I ain’t laughin’. Ho Ho! Look at what I did there just now! With the play on words … ’cause jokes are supposed to be funny … but I is cryin’ over lousy baseball and sich. Look, I can’t root for this team right now. Not as is. I can only root for the parts I like – that being the Starting Pitching (and Ryan Rowland-Smith) – because they’re the only guys worth a damn. They appear to be the only guys who give a shit about trying to win a ball game (and I know that’s impossible to measure, but some guys, if they REALLY cared about the MARINERS winning a ball game, they’d know when to call it a career Junior instead of popping out to 2nd base when pinch hitting for our only competent short stop late in the game Junior). Fister put up ANOTHER helluvan outing last night – 8 innings and 3 runs (scored in the 3rd and 4th innings) – but was once again tagged with a not-Win thanks to the meager 2 runs scored by the Good Guys. In Happy Dance news, we got Milton Bradley back from his 2-week stay-cation, with some of the cobwebs in his psyche brushed away by the good people at Western State. He went 2 for 4, saw the most pitches on the team, but otherwise wasn’t able to do much since he batted 6th in the lineup. I dunno, there’s a day game today for some reason (I guess Toronto is flying cross-country tonight or something), 12:40pm start. Look for the smallest crowd in Safeco Field history; combined with the shitty weather, shittier offense, and the complete and utter lack of sex appeal that is Jason Vargas, I’m saying we crack the 10,000 barrier (in that, the Mariners attract FEWER than 10,000 fans).

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