A Paragraph With The Mariners – 42

I watched a movie that came out last year, last night. “The Messenger”. In it, we have two Army Guys whose job is to bring the news to a fallen soldier’s Next Of Kin that their loved one has died on the field of battle. In one scene, they pull up to a neighborhood that has a small park with a bunch of families gawking at them as they straighten their uniforms. Woody Harrelson says, “It could be worse. It could be Christmas.” Indeed, hearing such news WOULD probably be worse at Christmas time. I’ve decided to take that approach today with the Mariners. Here’s the Nightmare “It Could Be Christmas” Scenario, as I see it: the Seattle Mariners continue to suck their way to a 4th place standing in the AL West come July. Season’s over, everyone knows it, there’s no sense in grasping at straws for a playoff birth that will never come. So, it’s Trade Deadline time, and we’ve got umpteen suitors for one Cliff Lee (this is coming off of reports that the Los Angeles Dodgers have already inquired about both Lee and Roy Oswalt, who will be the other big trade acquisition as he’s already demanded to be moved). Just when we’re about to get all the prospects we can handle for Lee, BOOM, he’s injured. Nobody wants an injured pitcher on their pennant run, and we end up losing him in Free Agency anyway. For shits and giggles, here’s Nightmare “It Could Be Christmas” Scenario #2: the Boston Red Sox fall off the face of the Earth. Ideally, you like having as many teams In The Hunt as possible when you’re a non-contender and you have bigtime trade chips at your disposal; the more teams hanging around, the more opportunities that one of their GMs will get an itchy phone-dialing finger and start offering up more blue chippers than you can shake Griffey’s fat ass at. But really, we need the Red Sox to be one of those teams. To have Boston within a few games of the Yankees and the Rays will lead Theo Epstein to believe they are just a piece or two away from overtaking the AL East. And who better than Cliff Lee, who’s already proven that he can be traded mid-season and come in right away mowing people down? So Mariners fans, I know you may not like this, but you’re going to have to root for the Red Sox! Because those fucking Rays won’t do SHIT to their already minuscule payroll!

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