A Paragraph With The Mariners – 95

I’ve been watching baseball since 1995, big surprise. To be accurate, it was probably around the time the Mariners were peaking and the California Angels were choking worse than any team has ever choked before. In that time, the winners of a World Series have been the Braves (95), the Yankees (96), the Marlins (97), the Yankees (98, 99, 2000), the Diamondbacks (01), the Angels (02), the Marlins again (03), the Red Sox (04), the White Sox (05), the Cardinals (06), the Red Sox (07), the Phillies (08), and the Yankees (09). Can you fucking believe the fucking Marlins have won TWO World Series, and the Diamondbacks one, while the Mariners have yet to even go? Because I can. I can believe that all night long. I can believe that in your eye, your hair, and on your titties. Sometimes I wish that I was a fan of a winner. Oh sure, when YOUR team wins, the one that’s not a winner for so very VERY long, it’s all the sweeter when they finally DO win. But, you know what? If it wasn’t such a pain in the ass to root for a team from afar (because, let’s face it, buying a digital or online package that lets me watch all the games is more work than I’m willing to expend), I’d be a Yankee fan in a heartbeat. Do you know there are multiple generations of Cubs fans who’ve lived and died without ever seeing their team win it all? Are you going to lay that line about it being “all the sweeter” on them? The dead ones? The ones who went their entire lives without that ecstacy? And the Cubs play in Chicago: a major American city with TWO baseball teams! I might live my entire life and never see a championship worth a damn won in Seattle. I’d have better odds of picking a different team to root for at the beginning of every season for the rest of my life and having THEM win it all than I would seeing the Mariners do it. Think about that. And, let’s face it, there are 30 teams … 30 years seems about right.

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