A Paragraph With The Mariners – 96

But, fortunately for me (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), that’ll never happen. I’m not going to abandon my team. I’d say part of that is sheer bullheadedness; I’d rather ram through that brick wall than bother just walking around it. Of course, part of that is sheer laziness too. Because, let’s face it, it’s easy to just drop a team (unless that team’s been stolen from you by thieving cunts), but it’s a lot of fucking work to pick up a new team. You’ve got to learn about their roster, you’ve got to learn about their recent history, and if you want to be any kind of fan at all, you’ll want to learn about their distant history too. Although, I can’t say I really know all that much about the distant history of the Mariners. When was the first year? ’77? Hey HEY! I got one! But seriously, I have a vague notion of someone named Alvin Davis as someone who’s known as “Mr. Mariner” even though, shit, there have probably been at least 5 or 6 guys who’ve stolen that title over the years (Griffey, Edgar, Ichiro, Bone, Randy, … Felix?). Other than that, I know the Mariners played most of their home games in a facility called the “Kingdome”, I know that Dave Niehaus has been the big-dick Play-By-Play guy since the first pitch, and I know that they didn’t have their first winning season until 1991. In essence, this franchise has sucked for most of its existence. So, I can’t say I really blame Me for not knowing all that much about the distant history of the Mariners. I can say that – as I mentioned last night – when I started following the team (and the game) for the first time in 1995, I picked up the ins and outs pretty quickly. Other than playing some T-Ball when I was 5 years old, up until the Refuse To Lose campaign, I never really had all that much exposure to the game of baseball whatsoever. And, starting with 1996 through today, I’d say I’ve been a pretty avid Mariners fan. It’s probably a good thing we had so many good teams in the mid-to-late 90s. If they would’ve returned right away to sucking hard dick, who knows if I’d still be a fan today. Of course, now I’m stuck with this Godforesaken team. This feels like the early 80s all over again (if I knew what that actually felt like).

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