Who Or What Are An Oakland Raiders?

I DON’T KNOW!

Apparently they suck at throwing the ball but are good at running the ball (which we negate by being good defensively against the run and kinda mediocre against the pass).  And apparently they’re really good defensively against the pass, but can’t stop a running back to save their lives (which we negate by being terrible at running the ball anyway, and very inconsistent throwing the ball).

So, if this thing plays by the book.  If instead of throwing human beings out on the field, we just play this game out on paper :: it will end in a 0-0 tie after one uneventful overtime.

Injuries could be a bit of a factor for both teams.  Okung looks to be sidelined for at least a week with his other stupid ankle acting up (something tells me his lower extremities weren’t cut out for this cut blocking shit), which is really too bad because when he was out there last week, we were running the ball down Arizona’s throat.  Was that coincidence?  Did it just take them a little while to get what we were trying to do offensively?  Or is Okung that much of a factor in the run game?  I guess we’ll find out, because Oakland is 28th against the run, giving up 138.9 yards per game.  So, that’s the magic number I guess.

We MIGHT be getting Mebane and Jennings back.  That’s going to work wonders for our depth, plus should shore up some of those run deficiencies we saw at times last week.  I’m not guaranteeing they’re playing, but I heard somewhere there’s a chance and that’s good enough for me.

As for the other team, did you know that Bruce Gradkowski is “technically” their Number 1 quarterback?  I did not as well (except I totally did because I’m in a scramble this week to fill a quarterback on BYE in my fantasy team).  I guess Jason Campbell really is a bust; I mean, if you can’t keep Bruce Gradkowski off the field, Jesus!  Personally, if it were me out there, and I was unable to supplant Bruce Gradkowski, I would kill myself.  But, you know, that’s me.  I have pride.

It also looks like a couple of wide receivers – in a corps that’s already pretty bad to begin with – are going to be out.  I don’t know what that means exactly; if we can shut down Larry Fitzgerald, I’m pretty sure we can shut down the best of what the fucking Raiders have to offer.

Bottom line:  the Seahawks SHOULD win this game.  We’re more talented at more positions (and, let’s face it, we’re more stable at more positions, including front office and head coach).  That having been said, on a scale from 1-13, with 13 being the most confident that the Seahawks will win, I’m officially a 1 for this game.

What do we have going against us?  Well, for one, the road thing.  I’m not going to sit here and say we exorcised all of our demons just because we beat a terrible Bears team.  Exhibit A:  20-3 loss to St. Louis.  Are the Raiders really that much worse than the Rams?  No way.

Also, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  59-14 against the Broncos IN Denver?  Seriously, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  If that’s the Raiders at the peak of their ability, then they just might be the most dangerous team in the NFL.  Then again, the week before, they went into San Francisco and lost 17-9, so go fucking figure.

It sucks playing these kinds of teams.  These teams where you don’t know if they’re going to be world beaters or world losers.  Are we going to catch them in a week where they turn the ball over 4 times and look completely mentally challenged on offense?  Or, are we going to get them when they bust loose for 200 yards rushing, hitting for long gains in multiple drives?

What we have going for us is that WE’RE one of those teams too.  You never know if we’re going to run out of the gates stomping everything in our path, or if we’re going to make Pete Carroll’s white hair fall out due to incompetency on offense and/or defense.  Teams can throw on us.  Will the Raiders do that this week?  Or will we make just enough plays to keep them in check?

The last time we played the Raiders in the regular season, we stomped their shit in on Monday Night Football about 4 years ago.  I don’t think this is going to go the same way; but it’d be cooler if it did.

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