My Conflicted Thoughts on Randy Moss

For some reason, I’ve grown into someone intolerant of outspoken athletes.

You'd look so good in a Seahawks' uniform ... NO YOU WOULDN'T

Now, I don’t know why, but a special place in my ire is reserved for wide receivers who complain about not getting the ball (but only when they’re on my team; I actually think it’s funny/reasonable for them to complain when they’re on other teams).  I don’t mind some good ol’ fashioned trash talkin’.  I don’t even mind a brash sense of bravado in my players, a desire to make ALL the plays, catch ALL the balls, score ALL the touchdowns.

What I require, however, if you’re going to be like that, is production.  Step your motherfuckin’ game up T.J. Houshmandzadeh.  Instead of SAYING you’re always open, how about you just beat a DB and GET the fuck open?  If you’re supposed to be a Number 1 Receiver, then ACT like a Number 1 Receiver:  go down the field, leap over a defender, and lead the league in yards per reception.  If you can’t do that, if you can’t get more than 3 touchdowns in a full fucking season, then you gotta shut your mouth, son.

Somehow this turned into another rant against Housh.  That’s unfortunate.  You see, Randy Moss is NO Housh.  Not even a little bit.  He’s one of the most talented, freakish physical specimens I’ve ever seen play the game of football.

And he could have been ours.

In any given College Football season, I generally know squat about the players coming out in the NFL Draft.  But, in 1998, I sure as shit knew about Randy Moss.  I watched those exciting Marshall University football games, I saw what this kid could do.  And I saw him fall right into our lap that year as we had the Number 15 pick.  You don’t think we could have used a wide receiver in 1998?  You don’t think Randy Moss and Joey Galloway across from each other on the football field wouldn’t have been the sickest deep-threat duo since Duper & Clayton?  You don’t think that would’ve taken an 8-8 team and given us that edge to win a couple more games?

You know who we got instead?  Anthony Simmons, Linebacker, Clemson.  *sigh*

Of course, the concern back then was his “legal problems” (note it didn’t stop the Seahawks from drafting a guy like Jerramy Stevens).  Moss fell all the way to the 21st pick and became a Hall Of Famer while Simmons is, I dunno, in the Hall of Flame-Out or something (HI-YO!).

Well, it’s 13 years later.  Randy Moss is explicably on waivers (he’s kind of an ass sometimes) after Minnesota traded a 3rd round draft pick to re-acquire.  He’s coming off of a season where he caught 83 balls for over 1200 yards and 13 touchdowns (so, he’s not exactly in Full Decline just yet).

Essentially, the pros to claiming him are just that:  getting a Hall of Fame wide receiver who’s still at a Hall of Fame level in production.  Let Matt Hasselbeck go out in style.

The cons are many and varied, but I’m not so sure they outweigh that one weighty pro.  He takes plays off.  He’s a whiny headcase.  He’s a bad influence to young receivers.  He doesn’t try when he’s on a bad team (we’re not exactly the New England Patriots right now).  He wouldn’t be the one piece that would put us over the top (though, I’d argue he’d make a dysfunctional offense much MUCH more functional).  And, quite frankly, I don’t think I could handle another T.J. Houshmandzadeh.

He isn’t him, I get that, but that’s a blessing and a curse.  Housh has, what, three good years to fall back on?  Yeah, Randy’s got like 9.  This would be more akin to 2010 Ken Griffey Jr.  Once Moss starts falling apart, he becomes the biggest cancerous tumor your team has ever seen.  One so great, it causes head coaches to be fired (see:  2010 Brett Favre and Brad Childress).  I don’t want to go through that again.

I don’t want to see my team, my quarterback, a slave to an attention-hog wide receiver.  It’s really unfortunate.  All these dick receivers should have been emulating Jerry Rice’s professionalism.  Instead, they were all attracted to Michael Irvin, and this is what we’re left with.  Bitches who feel they’re entitled.

But, again, I’m conflicted!  All of these nasty asides would be washed away the instant I got a Randy Moss streaking down the sideline for a 40+ yard touchdown grab.  I’d be pleading with Hasselbeck to throw him the damn ball every down!

I don’t know.  It’s a case like this where pretty much I’d be happy if the Seahawks claimed him and I’d be happy if they let him go.  Which is a far cry from how I felt back in 1998.

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