The Seahawks Are 2-5 On The Road

Unfortunately, that means the Seahawks are still only 4-2 at home.

What did I see yesterday?  I’m not gonna lie to you, after about 5 minutes of the 3rd Quarter, I didn’t see ANYTHING, because I stopped watching the game and started watching “Sleepaway Camp” from Netflix.  I don’t know what was more horrific:  seeing the little girl with a penis, or seeing Matt Hasselbeck chuck 4 interceptions as he pressed as hard as he could with what little receiver help he had at his disposal.  This couldn’t be more of a toss-up.

But, you know, that’s how the Seahawks play on the road.  S-h-i, t-t-y.  9 of Hasselbeck’s 15 interceptions have come on the road (and don’t look now, but he’s thrown 8 in the last 3 games).  While the yardage has gone up considerably over the last 5 games (averaging 299 vs. 202 over his first 7), I can’t help but wonder if a lot of that has to do with garbage time in three blowout losses (to the 49ers, Chiefs, and Saints).  Regardless, he’s not getting it done.

And for once, we have no reason to blame the offensive line!

At least not entirely.  I’m sure they’re doing things I’m not seeing that’s making life difficult.  But, this time around I think you gotta look at the wide outs.  Or lack thereof.

Once again, we see the Mike Williams Effect loud and clear.  The offense is a thing of beauty with Mike Williams in the lineup giving other teams fits.  Whereas, when he’s out, the offense is a little girl with a penis standing over a disembowled little boy at summer camp.  So frightening and insane, you just can’t get the image out of your head no matter how many times you try to wash your eyeballs out with soap.

And, as an added bonus, we got to witness the Ben Obomanu Effect.  It’s less damaging than the Mike Williams Effect, but still serves to showcase what this offense looks like without even a whiff of a deep threat (and make no mistake, Obomanu has become the default deep threat thanks to the fact that he can actually jump up and make a play on a ball unlike the rest of these jokers).

At the end of the game, Deon Butler broke his leg.  I don’t think we’ll be talking about the Deon Butler Effect, though, as I can’t imagine a replacement-level player being any worse.

Three games to go.  At least New Orleans did their job and stopped the Rams.  Will Kansas City be able to do the same?  Gotta hope and pray Matt Cassel returns from his appendix.

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