Jack Cust Sucks

You could say I was underwhelmed at best when he first signed.  That was sight unseen!  Now that I’ve got a look at him, I’ve got a BUNCH of problems with this guy.

First of all, I hate fat baseball players.  Unless you’re an offensive or defensive lineman in football, a bowler, a golfer, or a competitive eater, there is NO excuse for ANY professional athlete to be fat.  Period.  Jack Cust, you’re a baseball player!  What else do you have to do?  We’re not even making you play in the field anymore because you’re so obese; PICK UP A FUCKING BARBELL!  Eat a salad; have some fucking self respect for yourself!  You get paid to play a fucking game, the least you can do in your free fucking time is stay in fucking shape!

Secondly, I can’t stand a left-handed pull hitter whose so bad at hitting anything to Left or Center that every other team plays the Infield Shift.  Combine that with the fact that he generates zero power with his little blubber arms and you’ve got a guy with a tremendously small window for success.  If he’s not yanking the ball inches above the outstretched glove of the second baseman playing in shallow right field, it’s almost impossible for him to get a hit; he’s certainly not going to find a hole for a grounder to sneak through!

If the Mariners want an overweight slob to stand at the plate and do nothing but strike out or walk, they should just sign me!

It’s not like we really should’ve expected anything out of the guy.  CERTAINLY not anything in the realm of improvement over last year.  Yeah, he may get on base more often than Kotchman, but he’s also going to strike out more and probably hit into as many double plays.

This is a guy who started last season in AAA for Oakland.  He was recalled in mid-May, then went on to hit .272 with merely 13 homers, 19 doubles, and 52 RBI.  Of course, if he were any better than that, there’s no way we would’ve afforded him with our miniscule payroll flexibility going into the season.  He had three decent home run years from 2007-2009, but he’s 32 years old and clearly at the end of his Major League run.

There isn’t a day that’s gone by since Edgar Martinez retired where I didn’t wish we were a National League team so we wouldn’t have to suffer anymore worthless designated hitters.  Looks like that streak’s going to continue for another year.

2 thoughts on “Jack Cust Sucks

  1. I agree dude this guy sucks. Its a joke that he is a DH. I laugh everytime he is up because I know he is going to get out.

  2. Pingback: Miguel Olivo Sucks | Seattle Sports Hell

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