CenturyLink Has Too Many Syllables & That’s Why It’s A Stupid Name

Our Seattle idealist’s spirit briefly entertained the notion that the Kingdome’s replacement would forever be called “Seahawks Stadium”.  I’m not sure I was wild about that name – it’s no Soldier or Lambeau Field – but at least it didn’t cram some crappy product down our throats.

But then, of course, as is the world in the new millennium, you can’t really have a new stadium or arena without the corporate sponsorship that makes us all die a little more inside.  So, we had Qwest Field.  I’m sure I thought that was a stupid name at the time – Qw, really? – but eventually it grew on me because at least it’s short.  Qwest.  Qwest Field.  See?  Before there’s a chance for the bile to rise up in your throat, it’s come and gone and you can go about finishing your sentence (or starting a new one).

Where are you going this weekend?  Oh, I’m gonna stop by Qwest and watch the Sounders game.

How’s that sentence looking now that Qwest has been bought out by CenturyLink?  *shudder*

First of all, what’s with all these companies and their insufferable ways of spelling their names?  A w in Qwest?  No space between Century and Link (and, yet, they still capitalize the L in Link …)?  Is the lack of a space REALLY going to bring in more customers than if you’d just spelled it the traditional way?  Apparently not since you’re only the THIRD largest telecommunications company in the United States.

But, yeah, anyway:  too many syllables.  Cen-tur-y-Link.  You’re KILLING me here.  The bile has made it all the way to the back of my throat and is burning my esophagus!

And I’m NOT calling it the Clink!  That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard (unless you take it metaphorically, like:  The Clink is the place where we’re imprisoned by mediocre sports teams and terrible corporate sponsorship names).

Of course, I say that now, but really, it’s not like my feelings are going to stick.  A year or two from now, the word Qwest will be forgotten forever and I’ll be saying Clink like it’s going out of style.  You can proceed with shooting me in the head now.

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