Why The Seahawks Will Not Be Making The Playoffs

What was THAT?

I was fully prepared to concede that the Seahawks did not look good yesterday, but they got the job done and that’s all that really matters.  5-6 is 5-6 and nobody can take that away from us.

Then, Rex Grossman fucking took it away from us!

Does it ever feel to any of you that Rex Grossman owns the Seahawks?  Well, he averages 270 yards per game against the Seahawks; against the league as a whole he averages 188 yards.  He completes 65% of his passes against the Seahawks; 55% against the entire league.  He has a quarterback rating of 94 against the Seahawks; 71.4 against the league.  I don’t know what we did to this guy, but he fucking RAPES everytime he sees our blue asses.

Yesterday was no different.  314 yards, 74% completion, 96.6 rating … you know what he’s done the rest of the year?  Pretty much jack squat!  Hence why he was benched in favor of John Beck, only to be reinstated again because John Beck is the fucking apocalypse.

I can’t BELIEVE we blew a 10-point lead with 12 minutes left in the 4th quarter!  Except, I totally can, because did anyone else notice the stat the flashed on the broadcast coming out of the break in between quarters?  I don’t, exactly, but I caught the jist:  Seahawks are undefeated in their last so-many games when they have the lead after 3 quarters.  Figures, right?  How did we not see THAT one coming?

Even though we gave up a couple touchdowns, we still had a chance.  I can’t hate on the defense too much (even though Browner is a MACHINE when it comes to not turning around to make a play on the football), because Red Bryant – once again – blocked two kicks; including that late PAT to keep it to a 3-point game.  Meaning, instead of NEEDING a touchdown to win it, we could’ve kicked for overtime.

IF our offense could’ve done anything!

As much as I respect Tarvar’s guttiness, he’s got to be put down.  Give him, like, three or four weeks off.  Or, just shut him down entirely, but you gotta get someone else in there.  Someone NOT named Charlie.

At this point, why WOULDN’T you put in Josh Portis?  We’re 4-7.  We’re not going to win out and even if we did we still probably wouldn’t have what it takes to make the playoffs.  If you were going to blow this season by not drafting a QB, then the least you can do is take a look at each and every QB you have on your roster before next year’s draft.  What if we have our quarterback of the future right now and he’s yet to play a down for us?

Maybe it’s too early to make this move.  Maybe the coaching staff will tell you that you can’t EVER give up on your season like that.  Maybe.  But I’ll tell you what, there’s no way Tarvar should be starting a THURSDAY game against those Eagles.  I don’t care how bad they are, that defense will tear us a-fucking-part!  And you sure as shit can’t start Charlie!  He’s more repulsive right now than a team full of Jerry Sandusky’s!

Josh Portis, on the other hand, is a guy this fanbase – this 12th Man – can rally behind.  He isn’t yet tainted by the stench of utter failure.  The 12th Man knows our starting quarterback is hurtin’; they know our backup is worthless; Josh Portis is the opposite of both of them!  He’s healthy, he’s got wheels, he’s got that new-car smell because he’s got nothing but hope and potential behind him.

And sure, if he starts we’ll probably still lose the game.  But, at this point, with the way this offense has performed, can you do any worse?  Maybe he’ll be the Black Tebow, you never know!  Maybe he’ll look bad for three quarters, and then look like a pretty, pretty princess when the game is on the line!

It would be interesting, if nothing else.  This team could use some Interesting in its game.  I don’t think we want to watch our team get booed at home on national television (even if it IS on the NFL Network, which nobody owns).  Do the right thing, Pete.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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