Seahawks Win, Beastmode Readies Financial Windfall

Say what you want about the Seattle Seahawks in 2011, but they are ANYTHING but predictable!

Nevertheless, just as soon as I was sucked back into the Suck For Luck Sweepstakes with that 3-game losing streak, the ‘Hawks have rattled off a 3-1 record to inch their way closer to that .500 record we all know is coming.

By the way, if I would’ve told you a month ago that the Seahawks would go 3-1 in their next 4 games, would you have predicted the home game against the REDSKINS as the lone defeat?  Not bloody likely.

Before I fully move on, can you imagine the buzz surrounding this team right now if we hadn’t blown that 10-point lead last week?  Right now, we’d be 6-6 – a half-game behind the Giants, and a game and a half behind Detroit, Chicago, and Atlanta.  This city would be on cloud 9 right now!  I know, I hate all these “What Ifs” too, but God damn, those Redskins can suck my ass cheese!

Anyway, moving on.  While yesterday was somewhat exciting – at least in the moment, when we were doing our ass-kicking – I still can’t help but come away uneasy at best and devastated at worst.  Once again, the city of Seattle can’t just have one shining moment in the spotlight without something tragic happening:  this time, it’s the oft-injured Russell Okung tearing a pec muscle.  Here’s a fun fact:  you can play a reasonably competent quarterback with a torn pectoral; but you’re utterly worthless if you’re an offensive or defensive lineman.  Those guys are ALL pectoral muscles!  All they do is clutch and grab and punch at the other lineman’s torso all game; you can’t be even REMOTELY effective with that incapacity!

That Philly lineman who did that is a fucking dead man if I ever run into him.  Yeah, right, what am I saying?  I’m about as scary as a Cabbage Patch Doll.  But still, he’ll get his from karma if there is any justice in this universe.  I hope someone takes a swipe at his achilles tendon with a razor blade a la the movie “Hostel”.

The real story we can all take away from last night is:  Skittles make you a better runner Marshawn Lynch is a fucking level 5 tornado on the football field.  I was high on him when we traded for him; he was rising on my Favorite Seahawks list after The Run in the playoffs last season; now it’s official:  he is, without question, my favorite Seahawk currently playing and he might just be my favorite Seahawk since Cortez Kennedy.

That remains to be seen, because obviously I’d like to have some more time with the guy before he moves on to greener pastures.  All anyone was talking about during that game on Twitter is:  Sign That Man To An Extension!  I’m not gonna lie to you, I think that’s a BRILLIANT idea!  He’s a free agent after this season; nobody has any confidence in our other backs being every-down backs; and this year really isn’t the time to be drafting running backs when we have so many other needs (unless, of course, Chris Polk somehow finds his way into our lap).

We’ve thrown money at the receiver position, the tight end position, and the offensive line … we need to throw a whole money bin at Marshawn!

Beastmode is the single most exciting element to this Seahawks team.  Hell, he’s the single-PERIOD exciting element to this team!  As this offensive line has improved under coach Tom Cable, Marshawn has surpassed 100 yards rushing in 4 out of the last 5 games.  He’s scored 9 TDs in our last 8 games!  He literally NEVER gets tackled by the first defender who touches him (and I mean LITERALLY … never).  He’s only going to be more beastly for this team in the coming seasons (considering the youth on our line, and considering he’s only 25 years old).

Dear GOD, pay the man!  There are times to be frugal when you’re running a football team; this is not one of those times.  We’re going to need his bulldozing mentality when we’re breaking in a new quarterback.  We’re going to need to feed off of his tenacity as we’re breaking in all these younger players around him.

We’re going to need Beastmode in all of his glory as this team attempts to return to prominence.

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