Miguel Olivo Getting Injured Is A Good Thing

Look, let’s cut the shit, okay?  Yeah, Miguel Olivo getting injured sucks for him.  But for the team, and for all of us fans who are sick and tired of his bullshit at-bats and his bullshit defense, Miguel Olivo’s extended stay on the DL is GREAT.  I can’t think of a single bad thing about him being out of our lives that didn’t already exist with him still in our lives.  8-game hitting streak or no 8-game hitting streak.

This is an obvious plus for our lineup.  John Jaso getting regular playing time is a MILLION times better than the alternative.  That goes without saying, so why don’t we just move on.

Leadership?  Bollocks to leadership!  Ever heard of Leading By Example?  Let’s let someone else lead by an example of not sucking dick!

Defense?  Are you KIDDING me?  Is this REALLY a concern?  We’re worried about a step down in DEFENSE?  Pull your heads out of your asses and stop making up shit for the sake of filling your stupid blogs!  Miguel Olivo is TERRIBLE at defense!  I can’t put enough words in ALL CAPS to say that enough!  Do we need to look at the number of passed balls and wild pitches while on his watch?  I think we can make due with the marginal decline in arm strength when throwing out would-be base stealers.  How about this:  pitchers can pay closer attention to what the fuck’s going on behind them.  There, problem solved.

I couldn’t be more excited!  I’ve always had a gripe when it comes to sports.  It’s not a gripe based in reality, but rather perceived reality.  You know how it always seems like the players you hate the most will NEVER get injured, while the players you love (i.e. the GOOD players) will go on the DL at the drop of a hat?

Well, good news, friends!  The player I most hate on this team is henceforth injured!  Now, if that hip bursitis can return to Chone Figgins, my 2012 will be complete.

Let’s go get ’em, boys.  Show the world what it’s like to finally be rid of the scourge that is Miguel Olivo.

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