Why It Sucks To Root For The Mariners This Year

Look, I’m well aware of where the Mariners are at right now.  Anybody who’s anybody had the Mariners at about a 0% chance of making the playoffs this season.  But, for crying out LOUD!  We’re already 6.5 games out of first place in the AL West and it’s not even May 3rd yet!

Again, I get it, the Mariners were never going to do anything this year anyway.  But, would it KILL the Texas Rangers to not be this good?  Would it KILL the Seattle Mariners to win some of these close games?  You know, like in 2009 when we had that ridiculous 35-20 record in 1-run games?  Right now, we’re 3-5 in 1-run games, but it feels something like 0-8.

It sucks not just because we’re bad, but because we’re SO bad you might as well forget about the rest of the season entirely.  The last place team in the AL Central is only 6 games out of first.  The last place team in the East is only 5 games back and they’re the Boston fucking Red Sox.  We’re already 6.5 games back and we’re only in 3rd place!

I’m a rational human being who’s also a Mariners fan, but could you at least fool me for a couple months?  Could you AT LEAST suck me into believing that you might, in some freakish way, contend for SOMETHING that’s not a high draft pick?  I don’t ask for a whole lot; lord knows as a Mariners fan, I could NEVER ask for a whole lot and expect anything in return.  But, Jesus Christ!  We’ve played all of 26 games and it feels like the season’s already over!

Essentially, what we’ve got to look forward to, what we’re supposed to root for ISN’T contention for a post-season spot, but rather a whole bunch of moral victories.

We want to see the Mariners win more than 75 games, which would be a HELL of an improvement over the last two seasons.  We want to see young guys like Jesus Montero, Kyle Seager, Dustin Ackley, Justin Smoak, Alex Liddi, Michael Saunders, and Mike Carp make an impact on the big league roster, so they can be counted on going forward to lead this team back to prominence (just, you know, not THIS season, because Texas).  We want to see even-younger guys like Danny Hultzen, James Paxton, and Taijuan Walker make the jump while in Double-A so hopefully they too can help lead this team back to prominence.  And, to a lesser extent, we want to see Felix Hernandez continue to dominate every fifth day because we like Felix a lot.

It’s not an ideal situation, but it’s all we’ve got.  AND … it sucks.  The Texas Rangers will probably end up with the easiest path to the playoffs in the history of the playoffs.  Meanwhile, the Mariners are going to duke it out for whatever scraps lie in their wake.

I’ve already given up.  These Mariners, in conjunction with those Rangers, have officially sucked my will to live in 2012.  And the worst thing about it?  I’ve got a full summer of meaningless baseball to follow.  I’m beginning to think Junior Seau had the right idea …

Yeah, that was probably too soon.  A heartfelt “my bad” for that one.

Three Months, Eight Days, 23 Hours, and 10 Minutes until the first Seahawks preseason game.  Believe Big!

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