I have a regular routine I like to perform when I go to Mariners games. I usually buy all my food and drink before I go inside the stadium. I pee before first-pitch, then I sit in my seat with a scorecard and a pen, meticulously documenting the game I’m there to see. In the off-chance that something historic happens, I want to say that I was not only at that game, but I have the scorecard to prove it!
Last night, I went against my entire routine. Let’s just say if there was EVER a game I felt safe in assuming nothing historic was going to happen, last night’s Blake Beavan start was it.
Also in breaking with my routine, I spent a SHITLOAD last night on beer and soft serve ice cream at the game. The way I figure, I need SOMETHING to do with my hands while sitting there watching live baseball … might as well use those hands in the most self-destructive way possible!
The way things were going, last night was one of the easiest and most fun baseball experiences I’ve had in a good, long while. The Mariners got a run in the first (though, they probably should’ve had more, since they had the bases loaded and everything). The Mariners got another run in the third, and then they capped their scoring night in the fifth with a 2-run home run. All four runs courtesy of the bat of Justin Smoak (though, to be fair, that first inning fielder’s choice very nearly could’ve been a double play). It was 4-0, the Mariners chased Ervin Santana after 5 mediocre innings, and here we were, cruising towards an easy victory.
Then, just before the top of the 6th inning, I looked up and noticed that Blake Beavan hadn’t given up any runs. I made a comment to my friend at this point, something to the effect of, “The classic Blake Beavan game is 6 innings and 3 runs. Looks like the Angels are going to have a pretty good 6th inning.”
And so it came to pass. Albert Pujols with the three-run, no-doubt-about-it blast to deep center field. Then, it was 4-3. Beavan still had a low pitch count, so he got to go out for the 7th, finishing his day in a Very Blake Beavany way. 3 runs scored. If that guy has ever given up anything less, I haven’t seen it.
In spite of that brief bout of bombast, I still felt pretty comfortable that the Mariners were going to win that game. Maybe it was the Coors Light talking, I don’t know! All I know is Wilhelmsen did his job in the 8th, and Brandon League – after a rough stretch – seemingly had his shit back together (like last year, when he had a rough stretch and then figured his shit out).
Nope. Brandon League ate a huge bag of dicks. A single, a walk, a sac-bunt that was picked up by League and thrown wide of third base for the game-tying error, and an Intentional Walk. At this point, the best we could hope for (with no outs, bases loaded) was some kind of miracle that left the game tied for us in the bottom of the 9th.
Nope. 2-run pinch-hit single. The Mariners go down in order in the 9th, ballgame.
For the record, I was one of the thousands booing the shit out of League. He’s not just costing us ballgames, but he’s actively making our team worse for the future by reducing his trade value to absolute zero. Fuck you, Brandon League, get your shit together! Do you WANT to go to a contender or don’t you?
Also, I say if a pitcher commits an error, he should suffer in the ERA department. Stop giving pitchers unearned runs when THEY were the reason those runs were unearned!
Finally, I really had high hopes for last night once I was graced with the lineup. There was NOTHING to dislike! Yeah, Ackley was given a day off to rest (on his own bobblehead day, no less), but still, the lineup could not have been more intriguing (and less Olivo-filled):
- Michael Saunders (CF)
- Alex Liddi (3B)
- Ichiro (RF)
- Kyle Seager (2B)
- Justin Smoak (1B)
- John Jaso (DH)
- Jesus Montero (C)
- Mike Carp (LF)
- Munenori Kawasaki (SS)
No Olivo, no Brendan Ryan, Saunders batting leadoff, Liddi continuing to get regular playing time … I was ALL OVER this lineup! And we would’ve won the ballgame too, if it weren’t for Brandon League and those meddling Angels …