The Mariners Can’t Make Any Moves Until They Release Chone Figgins

We all went into the All-Star Break expecting a bloodbath.  Old Man Wedge was supposed to stomp through this roster, scythe in hand, hacking away maniacally, heads rolling around a blood-stained Safeco infield.  The team had stunk for too long, the fans were fed up with the lack of progress, and quite frankly, so was the organization.

Certain prospects who have been highly touted were going to be sent 30 miles south to Tacoma as other, slightly less touted prospects were brought up to replace them … until they figured the fuck out whatever it is they needed to figure the fuck out.

Monday came, and nothing happened.

Tuesday came, and still nothing happened.

Wednesday came, and I guess Wedge and general manager Jackie Z had a phone conversation.

Thursday came, and I guess there was more deliberation.

And then the announcement:  there would be no announcement.  No players would be sent to Tacoma.  No heads would roll.  What you see is what you get and if they’re going to figure it the fuck out, they’re going to figure it the fuck out in the Majors dag-nabbit!

To which I reply, “Well DUH.”

What are you going to do?  Send Ackley, Smoak, and Montero down to Triple A?  Maybe shift Seager over to second base and start playing Chone Figgins again?  They’re not going to do that!  Chone Figgins is the worst player in the Major Leagues!

And he, quite frankly, is the reason why no moves were made.  You can’t start punishing guys for underperforming when you’ve got the single worst player in the Major Leagues still occupying a roster spot.  What message does that say to the rest of the organization?  You WILL be held accountable … unless you make $9 million a year, in which case enjoy making those millions while doing absolutely nothing.

A joke.  The rest of the organization would see that happening and they’d say, “This is a joke, right?”  Not that the Mariners organization deserves all that much respect, given their ineptitude over the years, but whatever is below absolute rock bottom:  THAT is where everyone’s respect for the Mariners would reside.

Hankering for change?  Even if it’s just for the sake of making change?  Want some underperforming youngsters to try to right their ships in Tacoma?  Blame Chone Figgins.  Because until the Mariners REALLY start holding people accountable (by releasing Figgins and ridding this city of his worthlessness once and for all), they’re never going to realistically be able to send anyone to the minors and save one iota of face.

Personally, I’m torn.  You know how if someone murders your family, on the one hand you want them dead RIGHT NOW, but on the other hand you wouldn’t mind knowing that they’re rotting in prison, being gang raped on the daily?  The Mariners keeping Figgins and forcing him to ride pine is like the MLB version of Figgins rotting in prison and getting gang raped on the daily.  SUFFER!  SUFFER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE!

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