The Arizona Cardinals are what the Seattle Seahawks would look like if they didn’t have Marshawn Lynch or a quarterback. Almost exactly! Granted, the Seahawks don’t have anyone like Larry Fitzgerald, but what good is Larry Fitzgerald if you don’t have anyone to throw to him? It’s like having a big ol’ dick, no one to stick it in, and no hands to … you know what, let’s think harder on this analogy.
Larry Fitzgerald and no quarterback: it’s like having some big ol’ titties, but … hold on, I can do better.
Larry Fitzgerald and no quarterback: it’s like a Washington State Strip Club. It costs a bundle, you can’t touch anything, and they don’t serve alcohol, so really, what’s the fucking point?
Something like that. I may or may not need to get laid here pretty soon.
But really, am I wrong here? What IS the point of having a Larry Fitzgerald if you’re going to keep trotting out these DOUCHEBAGS? Even a moderately AVERAGE quarterback could lead this team to the playoffs. Trent Dilfer in his prime would be absolutely DROOLING over this team! Whoever constructed this team deserves the Bill Bavasi Award For Extreme Incompetence.
What I’m trying to say is: Arizona is a fucking mess. Yeah, they have a solid defense, but as you can clearly see by their 8-game losing streak, a fat lot of good that’s going to do you in the ol’ win/loss record. Their passing game is atrocious, their running game is even worse, and even though they have the single greatest wide receiver in the NFL, he’s only able to muster 54 yards per game! Larry Fitzgerald, in case you didn’t know, has a whopping THREE games this season where he was held to a single reception. 1 for 4 yards in New England, 1 for 11 yards in Atlanta, and 1 for 23 yards in New York against the Jets. Mind you, it’s not for a lack of targets: he averages 12 targets per game! It’s just the trifecta of suck that is Kevin Kolb, John Skelton and whatever the fuck a Ryan Lindley is!
There is no reason whatsoever (aside from him getting injured on the first snap of the ballgame) for Larry Fitzgerald to only catch one ball in a football game. The Cardinals are a fucking disgrace and their coaching staff deserves to be drawn & quartered for their crimes. Mind you, the Cardinals are a hated rival, and yet I can’t help but feel sorry for Larry Fitzgerald. What did the guy ever do to deserve such a fate?
More or less, this is my way of saying that the Seahawks should win handily this Sunday. This is another one of those games where allowing them to score more than 3 points would be a travesty. But, then again, this defense of ours has shown some cracks of late. I can by no means guarantee single-digits allowed. I probably CAN guarantee no more than the mid-to-low teens, and I think the Seahawks are good enough to beat whatever it is the Cardinals can muster. My guess? 20-10. Something like that. MAYBE a late touchdown to push it to 27-10. But, this game should be a snore.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.