Felix & Iwakuma Make The All Star Team

In more Who Gives A Shit news, the Mariners have a couple of All Stars.  On the plus side, I think I finally remember at what point I last cared about the All Star Game.  It was whatever year Ichiro won the All Star Game MVP.  Yeah, it wasn’t that long ago, but I still enjoyed watching the game on a lark.  The game is a lot more entertaining when you’ve got an everyday player in the starting lineup than if you’ve just got a pitcher and you’re pulling your hair out asking why the manager hasn’t thrown your guy on the mound yet.  HE MUST NOT LIKE THE MARINERS!!!

Anyway, if memory serves, that was the year Ichiro hit an inside-the-park home run en route to a 2- or 3-hit game that the AL won (because duh).  I was PRETTY damned pleased with myself for being a fan of the All Star Game’s MVP.  After all the flak he got for the Japanese fans skewing the votes Ichiro’s way, he showed everyone that he truly deserved the spotlight!

And then they gave him a free car.  Right there on the field.  Major League Baseball’s primary sponsor gave Ichiro – a millionaire MVP – a free car.  Remember that episode of the Simpsons where there’s a raffle at a baseball game and Mr. Burns wins the car and everyone throws tomatoes at him (because it’s Free Tomato Day)?  That’s the kind of sickening display – in a microcosm – you come to expect from an All Star Game.  Nothing matters, no one cares, and in the end everyone gets a bunch of free stuff and gets to go home to their mansions.

Then, they had that tie game that was called even though there were still pitchers left to be used (Felix, if memory serves).  Then, they started giving Home Field Advantage in the World Series to the league that wins the All Star Game (which every single person in the world hates).  And now it’s 2013.  And two more Mariners are on the team, but they’re pitchers, so I’m not likely to watch, because who wants to wait around to see IF the AL manager decides to pitch them or not.

If you’re going to substitute people at random and turn the fucking game into an Everybody Gets To Play affair, then how about you make it so EVERYBODY GETS TO PLAY?

But, yeah, it’s cool for them.  The two leading ERA guys in the AL (Iwakuma with 2.60 and Felix with 2.69) are on the team.  As well they should be.  And when we have the All Star Break next week, I’ll be enjoying a nice weeklong (or thereabouts) respite from Mariners baseball.  By gar, it’s going to be GLORIOUS!

Leave a Reply