Keep Nick Franklin and Get Rid of Willie Bloomquist

Would somebody PLEASE tell me again why we signed Bloomquist to a guaranteed 2-year deal?  Are you telling me that he was SO in demand that we had to tack on a second year just to get him to come to Seattle?  He came here knowing full well he would never be a starter (unless, God forbid, someone gets injured, and even then …) – HERE, in Seattle, where the baseball tastes like boiled mayonnaise sitting out in the sun – and we couldn’t get him to sign for less than two years.

Jack Zduriencik, you seem to be in the market for some foolish, impulse purchases, so let me tell you what I’ve got for you:  it’s this device.  It looks like one of those hand-held orange juicers, only if someone stepped down hard on the pointy end and flattened it out.  Now, you don’t juice with it!  You wrap bacon around it, stick it in the oven and … you guessed it:  a bacon bowl!  Yes, I know, I know, you could probably just flip over a muffin tin and use that, but would it also come with this Magic Chopper?  Jack, I’ll sell you the whole set for only $3 million.  What do you say?  Quite a bargain, right?

If this was football, the Mariners could get out from under this Bloomquist deal without any problems.  But, this is baseball – a VASTLY inferior sport in every imaginable way – so we’re stuck with guaranteed contracts for pieces of shit.  Of course, if this was a well-run baseball organization, we never would have been put in this position in the first place, so what do you know about that?

In an ideal world, Willie Bloomquist would have to prove himself before he made the team.  Instead, he gets to sit back and watch the paychecks roll in while he’s lucky to get in a game once a week.  Brilliant.

Here’s the deal:  we know who our second baseman is, it’s Robinson Cano.  We know who our third baseman is, it’s Kyle Seager.  We now know who our short stop is (some would say we’ve known all along and this “competition” was all a farce), his name is Brad Miller.  We have too many underwhelming first basemen to count, their names are Justin Smoak, LoMo, and Corey Hart.  There’s no room at the Inn in this infield.

What we need is a quality backup who can play all the positions in a pinch!  Someone to give Miller the occasional day off.  Someone to start for Cano when he jams a finger sliding into second base.  And so on.  Right now, that job is going to Willie Bloomquist, even though he’s definitely the worst baseball player in professional baseball (no Hyperbole Guy).  Why couldn’t that job just go to Nick Franklin?  Who is marginally better, doesn’t make me sick with rage every time I see him, and doesn’t cost millions of dollars over the next two years.

Some will say it’s because he’s young and needs to be playing every day.  Does he, though?  While I’ll admit, I tend to have confidence in the little guy, but he DOES appear to be something of a Career Reserve.  Might as well get a jump start on that career right now by riding pine and coming in every so often just to disappoint.

Some will say he has more value as a trade chip.  Does he, though?  Do you REALLY see the Mariners getting something all that great out of this kid?  Because I’ll tell you what I see us getting in return:  take Aaron Harang’s talent right now and put it in a body ten years younger (or, another Blake Beavan).  That’s what we’re talking about.

Nick Franklin hasn’t done a damn thing to warrant other teams giving us the moon and the stars!  So cut that shit right out!  Why do we need dud pitching from other teams when we’ve got our own Hector Noesi right here in camp?

I just know we’re going to get less than nothing out of Bloomquist.  He has no upside, he’s old, and he has no business being on this team.  At least if we kept Nick Franklin around, he’d have the opportunity to build some value.  In the event that someone gets injured, maybe Nick Franklin comes in and tears it up for a month.  Maybe that month catches the eye of another general manager, and maybe that general manager makes us an offer for him that we can USE!

Then again, we’re talking about Jackie Z.  The only guy I know who’s able to turn a quality starter in Doug Fister into a so-so lefty reliever.

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