Seattle Sports Hell Goes To Japan

I’m flying out today and I don’t get back until May 25th.  If I play my cards right, maybe I’ll come back with a blushing Japanese bride.

Nothing newsworthy happens in the last couple weeks of May, right?  While I’m gone, the Mariners will play a 5-game road trip in Minnesota & Texas, then will come home for four against Houston.  Nothing interesting is going to happen in that span, right?

Right.  So, here’s some stuff for you to read while I’m gone.  Don’t go reading it all at once!  Spread it out.  Come back every day (or even multiple times per day!) and read them at your leisure.

Here’s an interesting look behind the scenes of the Obama/Between Two Ferns video.

The Wolf of Wall Street is a fucking dope-ass movie.  This chest-thump, dance remix is the next best thing.

I never tire of reading about how great Pete Carroll and the Seahawks are …

Anybody else tired of hearing about how the Mariners will be the “surprise team” every damn year?  How about we just go ahead and be unsurprisingly good for a change?  Also, funny to look back at this and see how wrong this particular writer was …

Interesting article about Billy Bob from Varsity Blues.  I guess he’s not so fat anymore, but he’s also not so working of an actor anymore.

David Letterman is going to retire sometime next year.  Part of me thinks that’s a shame, but mostly I just don’t have time or the stamina (or the DVR) to watch late night talk shows anymore.

Honestly, I don’t think there’s anyway in Hell that The Strokes would even for a SECOND be considered for the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame.

SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING THE MOVIE “DRAFT DAY” SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING.

This made me laugh.  Stick it in your ear, you wrinkled old bag …

Look, Full House was a terrible show.  I watched it as a child and always felt a LITTLE bit worse for doing so.  Nevertheless, it was a huge hit and a huge moneymaker, and this guy really got screwed over something fierce.

John Oliver is awesome.  How the Daily Show keeps churning out high-quality on-air talent, I’ll never know …

I thought this was an insightful look at the whole Cuba / Major League Baseball thing, from a Mariners perspective …

You know what pisses me off, still, to this day?  Why they ever cancelled that show Nowhere Man after only one season.  It was just starting to get REALLY good!  You know what else pisses me off?  How HBO went and cancelled Deadwood, then promised us a couple of movies to close out the story, then cancelled the fucking movies, all so David Milch could bring us John From Cincinnati.  Which, fine, I’ll bite.  I watched John From Cincinnati with an open mind, and I was rewarded with an amazing, mindfuck of a TV show!  It just started to get really good by season’s end, so what do they do?  They fucking CANCEL this show too!  You take away Deadwood to give us this, and then you take away this to give us the fucking finger!  Damn you, HBO!  It’s been a decade and the scars are still fresh!  Also, wanna know something weird?  John From Cincinnati and the aforementioned Nowhere Man (both shows cancelled after only a single season, both entirely mysterious and entirely addictive) starred Bruce Greenwood, who is the man.

I’m sure we all had a chance to read this article after the NFL schedule came out, but still, fuck the NFL for giving us a week 4 BYE (or, for that matter, even HAVING a week 4 BYE) …

Kip Winger:  still a tool after all these years.

I don’t remember exactly when I first saw Super Troopers, but I know I was still in college.  I believe I was in my dorm.  It was either in the lounge, surrounded by friends, or in my room, watching on my computer.  Either way, I was hooked from the first scene.  I’m usually not much for oral histories, but this one is top notch.

The summer blockbusters sure look crappy this year.

Alice in Chains is one of the more underrated bands of the 90’s.  I can’t bring myself to listen to their latest releases with this new singer (mostly because I have visions of Godsmack and other shitty knockoffs), but their original records are still as fresh and vital as the days they were released.  I know Jar of Flies really opened my eyes when it came out, as I was just turning 13 at the time, and all I knew was heavy grunge and heavier metal.  Can’t say that I really cared for Jar of Flies at first, but over time it really grew on me.

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