Week 11 Random, Surly Mariners Thoughts

What a crap week.  Just THE WORST.  In the blink of an eye, we lost our Wild Card lead and most of the goodwill that was built up over that amazing road trip.

Lloyd McClendon is a dumb motherfucker.  STOP BATTING LOGAN MORRISON ANYWHERE NEAR THE CLEANUP SPOT!  The LoMo experiment is a fucking disaster and it needs to end the second Justin Smoak gets off the DL.  Have you ever wondered what it would take (besides full-on dementia) to long for the services of Justin Smoak?  Meet Logan Fucking Morrison.

KYLE SEAGER IS YOUR BEST POWER BAT FROM THE LEFT SIDE, LLOYD!  Pull your fucking head out of your ass and put him in a spot in the lineup where we can maximize his talents.  AND KEEP HIM THERE!

Jesus Montero was also brought up, as Michael Saunders (predictably, I might add) also had to go on the DL, with that shoulder issue.  I fucking KNEW he was playing through pain!  Just get it fixed, asshole!  We’ve only seen one start out of Montero – at DH, against lefty Joe Saunders – and he got a single.  So, that’s neat.  Michael Pineda and some other guy was traded for Hector Noesi (trainwreck while here, but happily no longer a part of this organization) and a fat, slow idiot who can only play a platoon-DH.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a miserable week of Mariners ineptitude without squandering yet another brilliant Felix start.  This time, 8.1 innings, 1 earned run against the Rangers.  Of course, it involved a single, a couple of stolen bases (off of pitches the catcher couldn’t handle), and a botched double play after Felix had left the game.  1-0 loss, because if there’s one thing that comes to mind when Nick Tepesch takes the hill for the Rangers, it’s:  there’s a guy who can out-duel the best pitcher in the game.  As it turns out, that’s a pretty easy task to achieve when you’re going up against an offense featuring Logan Morrison, Endy Chavez, Stefen Romero, Brad Miller, Dustin Ackley, and Cole Gillespie.

Don’t count on help coming anytime soon.  With so many teams in the Wild Card hunt, hitters are at a premium and nobody is dealing.  Nobody on the farm is ready for the rigors of the Major Leagues.  Jabari Blash is interesting, except he has to improve all aspects of his game that don’t involve hitting home runs.  He strikes out too much, he doesn’t walk enough, he doesn’t hit for a good average.  But, then again, Endy Chavez is getting far too many meaningful ABs when he’s also terrible, so could Blash really be any worse?

There’s the possibility of acquiring pitching, but the Mariners already have pretty good pitching, and help is on the way.  Miraculously, Taijuan Walker is on the comeback trail and recently took a no-hitter into the seventh inning.  He needs to come up immediately.  Erasmo Ramirez has been okay, putting up zeroes in his last two starts, but he’s walking the world and finding a way to get out of constant jams.  I don’t trust that this trend will continue with the results he’s been seeing.

The Yankees swept us in a 3-game series, then the Rangers took two of three.  We are officially 15-20 at home now, which is beyond pathetic.  Among teams in the Major Leagues with a winning record, it’s easily the worst home field “advantage”.  These mental midgets need to get over the fact that Safeco isn’t an ideal hitter’s haven, because we’re all getting a little sick and tired of this bullshit.

That’s it, that’s all I’ve got.  I’ve watched more Mariners baseball this week than I probably have in any week before.  Watching them blow this opportunity to contend for the post-season is exhausting.  If they can’t figure out a way to finish the month of June on a hot streak (against a bunch of stiffs, for the most part), then I give up.  Next up:  San Diego, one of the dregs of the NL.  Take at least 3 of 4 or GTFO.

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