Seattle Sports Hell Goes To Disneyland

If you’re reading this right as it’s posted to the Internet, then I should be on a plane headed to southern California.  So, what’s up with a grown man going with his grown family to Disneyland?  BECAUSE IT’S THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH AND YOU CAN SUCK IT THAT’S WHAT’S UP!

It just sorta happened to fall on this weekend, but it really couldn’t have come at a more perfect time (if you don’t count the fact that the Mariners are involved in a playoff series for the first time since 2001 fucking blew it, so nevermind), what with the Huskies on a BYE and the Seahawks not playing until Monday night.  Anyway, as per usual, the blog goes dark while I’m away, because I’m a control freak and I’ll cry if I want to.

Here are some things for you to read while I’m gone:

This is my favorite thing Bill Simmons ever does.  One of these years, I’m going to go to this sports collector’s convention, I’m going to spend hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars, I’m going to regret most of my purchases, and I’m going to vow to never buy another piece of memorabilia ever again.

Damn, next year’s convention is in Chicago.  Chicago is a place that’s actually WORTH visiting.  Might have to set a reminder to purchase tickets.

As I got into them late in their career, I was never the biggest Outkast fan in the world.  Which is why I didn’t break the bank to go see them at one of the dozens of festival shows they did this year.  Andre 3000 is my jam, though, and I’m pretty excited about his Hendrix movie (even if they weren’t allowed to use any of Hendrix’s songs).

Faith No More is one of my favorite bands of all time.  It’s truly impossible for me to rank my favorites in a definitive order, but they include the likes of:  Faith No More, Aerosmith, Guns N’ Roses, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Nirvana, Metallica, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Cream, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Radiohead, The Doors, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Explosions In The Sky, LCD Soundsystem, and The Flaming Lips.  Before I make this look like my old MySpace account profile too much, I would like to point out that Faith No More has a new album in the works.  And possibly a tour.  With the exception of Aerosmith, PJ, LCD, and the Lips, I missed out on seeing all of these bands play in their prime (I’m counting the early 90s as one of two prime periods for Aerosmith), as I was truly born about 10 years too late.  So, to get a chance to see FNM even 20 years past their prime, will be an opportunity I won’t be able to pass up.

Look, I love Patton and his comedy and many of his movie & TV roles.  And I love the idea of taking a break from the Internet and social media.  I even frequently leave my home without taking my phone with me.  But (aside from that previous sentence), you don’t see me going around writing fart-sniffing articles or blog posts about it.  WHO CARES?

I can be a drunken jackass with the best of ’em, but even I would be too afraid to run out onto the field during a ballgame.  MAYBE if the guarantee of sex was floated out there.

I found this to be way more interesting than I thought it’d be.  In theory, the idea of a rock n’ roll cruise headlined by one of my favorite bands sounds like a cool way to get away from it all.  Until I remember that I generally dislike other people and can’t stand mingling or small talk.  For me to enjoy such an event, I’d have to be wall-to-wall drunk from the minute I stepped onto the boat until the minute I left.  And, I just don’t think my body could withstand the hangover.

Boy, that whole Ray Rice thing is fucked up, huh?

Sarah Silverman is my favorite.  That’s it, just my favorite.

Daily Show Good.  Washington Redskins Fans Bad.  Or, at the very least:  Washington Redskins Fans Crybabies.

I’ve got a lot of issues with these Cosby opening credits rankings.

I always said my fourth tattoo would be of the local team’s logo whenever said team won its first championship.  Well, the Seahawks did that, and yet here I am, with only three tattoos on my person.  This is why no one takes me seriously on my threats!

As always, you can find my shit on Facebook.

I’m also on Twitter all the time.

And VOTE FOR ME!

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