The New PAT Rule In The NFL Is Fucking Stupid

I know the NFL is now considered to be a year-round sport, with all the off-season activities manufactured to get you thinking non-stop about your favorite American pastime, but it’s tough to keep up on every little thing that happens in the months of February through August.  One thing you might have missed is the NFL tinkering with one of its rules, screwing around with something for the sake of change more than actually making the game better (what is this, my fantasy football league?).

Was anyone complaining about the PATs before this became a topic of conversation?  Did anyone give two fucking shits about setting the ball at the 2-yard line for extra points?  My hunch is:  absolutely not.  Yet, here we are:  starting this year, if you want to go for one point after touchdown, you have to set the ball at the 15-yard line, making PATs a 32-yard kick instead of a 19-yard kick.  (Everything remains the same if you decide to go for two; you still line up at the 2-yard line).

Now, there is one part of this rule that I do like:  if the defense gets hold of the ball (either via a blocked kick, or via fumble/interception), they can return it for two points if they reach the opposing endzone.  But, everything else about this rule change just smacks of being totally pointless.

Why did this happen?  Because kickers were making a crazy-high percentage of extra points, across the entire league.  Why is this a problem?  Fuck if I know.

All this rule is about is penalizing kickers for being good at their jobs!  It’s not about leveling the playing field or righting an overlooked wrong; it’s just to shake things up, over an aspect of the game no one cares about.

What’s the problem with the way PATs were kicked before?  You’re upset because they’re not as exciting as regular field goals?  You take umbrage with the fact that fans don’t care about them – and often take the opportunity to get an early jump on the bathrooms or concessions?  You want fans at home to stick around and not flip the channel for these oh-so-crucial events?

It’s just so incredibly fucking stupid and transparent, it’s pathetic.  There are SO MANY things wrong with the NFL, so many ways the game could be improved; but what does the NFL do?  It fucks around with the PATs as a distraction to keep us mollified so we’re not fucking outraged at all the brain trauma killing former players, or at the way the commissioner seemingly pulls punishments out of his ass for all the various illicit goings on in the game.

You know what’s more important than adding 13 yards of extra distance between the kicker and the goalpost during PATs?  Literally everything else.  Yet, here we are, and I just KNOW that somehow this rule change is going to screw over the Seahawks in some way.  And for what?  I GUARANTEE this rule gets changed back to where it was before within the next 10 years.  So, we’ll all look back upon this stupid period in NFL history when the morons at the top decided to fuck with something so unimportant that it still managed to play a vital role in fucking some team over when they would’ve been just fine had no one tinkered with anything in the first place.

So, so fucking stupid.

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