Mariners Found Marinersing All Over Themselves In Opening Day Defeat

Mariners
verb

1.  to find a way to lose in increasingly inexplicable ways

2.  to avoid victory at all costs

Mortimer, the car mechanic, mariners’d his tools down a sewer drain and could not fix the car.

or

Kyle Seager & Ketel Marte, professional baseball players, mariners’d a couple of routine ground balls, leading to a couple of unearned runs in a 3-2 defeat to the Rangers yesterday afternoon.

or

Felix Hernandez mariners’d a total of five at bats – including three in that critical fifth inning – when he walked batters he should have struck out.

or

Scott Servais sure mariners’d his first start as a manager of a ballclub by starting Adam Lind against a tough left-handed pitcher like Cole Hamels, who got Lind to mariners twice in three at bats via the strikeout.

or

Adam Lind really mariners’d his first start as a Mariners first baseman by marinersing all four times he came to the plate.

or

The Mariners surprisingly mariners’d for the first time in ten years on Opening Day, which would have been some crazy record had they managed to find a way to Seahawks it in the end.

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