The Mariners Are Hot Fucking Garbage Against The American League West

You know that garbage that’s all moist and fresh, been sitting on a pile in the sweltering sun all day, then someone takes a shovel and swishes it around to bring out a fresh bouquet of nausea for the ol’ olfactory organs?  That’s the sort of hot fucking garbage we’re talking about.

Right now, the Mariners sit a mediocre 43-42, games and games out of contention, but, you know, still over .500.

Yet, the Mariners are a whopping 15-22 against teams in their own division:

  • 4-8 vs. Texas
  • 4-6 vs. Houston
  • 2-4 vs. Anaheim
  • 5-4 vs. Oakland

Meaning, if we do the math, the Mariners are 28-20 against the rest of baseball.  Which is just fucking great.  Too bad we play all the teams in our division 19 times apiece (76 games in total), meaning we only play the rest of the league 86 times in total.  And, not for nothing, but we’re already well past the halfway mark in our non-divisional games, so WHOOPIE!  LAST PLACE HERE WE COME!

So, what brought all this on as a topic of conversation?  Well, the Mariners were just swept down in Houston, which feels about par for the course when it comes to the Mariners in the week directly preceeding the All Star Break.  Doesn’t it always seem like the Mariners come down with a heavy case of Senioritis and check out early every year?

Anyway, I think what we’ve learned over the last month is pretty simple.  The Mariners just aren’t at the same level as the Rangers or the Astros this year.  When we were in this thing, when we had an opportunity to directly impact the standings and really make a move, what did we do?  We rolled over and died.  What happened in June, when we were 31-22 and in first place?  We went a combined 1-5 against the Rangers and lost the division forever.  What happened this week, coming off of a 4-game sweep of the Orioles, when we had a very good chance to climb back into the Wild Card race?  We got pounded in all three games against Houston to fall – YOU GUESSED IT – three games back.

It’s by no means an insurmountable lead, but the psychological edge is appalling.  When push came to shove, they whipped our asses with relative ease in every facet of the game.  What can we expect from the next 9 times we play them, if not more of the same?  Including immediately after the All Star Break, when we get to host them for a weekend series.  Oh joy.

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