Saints Be Praised: The Seahawks Finally Beat The Rams!

With Jeff Fisher’s sorcery over the Seahawks no longer a dark cloud surrounding this franchise, maybe we can finally go out and win some championships!

Also, uhh, how about those green unis?  I still contend they’re better than the green ones we wore in 2009 that one time – mostly because they didn’t tack blue onto the sleeves for no good reason – but yeah.  It’s not like I’m against alternate unis (so long as they don’t have feathers on the shoulderpads, you stupid fucking Oregon Ducks), but I don’t understand why they have to be neon-ass green!  What about an alternate, ligher, more old school blue?  Or an alternate, old school silver?  Mostly, I just want to see the throwbacks come back for the Seahawks, and if we had to shoe-horn it into some Color Rush bastardization, then fine.

But, I guess the kids like the neon.  I think the best alternate uniform would’ve been more of a darker emerald color.  You know, because Seattle’s the Emerald City and everything?

Whatever.  It’s fine.  I don’t really care that much.  I’m sure they crunched the numbers and did the research and determined this was the most profitable way to go, so okay.

As for the game itself, I don’t know what to tell you.  It’s another Thursday dog.  I’m just glad the Seahawks were on the right side of history.  A loss there and we’re talking about just a disaster of a missed opportunity season.  That might still come to pass, but we’ve put ourselves – currently 9-4-1 – in a great position to leap back into the 2-seed if the Lions lose to the Giants this Sunday.

I didn’t see everything.  I watched the first half at the Yard House in downtown Seattle, then at halftime I made my way to the Rabbit Hole over in Belltown to see bits and parts of the third quarter before a comedy show at The Moore at 8pm.  The first half was pretty erratic.  LOTS of potential big plays the defense could’ve given up, had it not been for the Rams being so inept.  The fucking Packers wouldn’t have botched some of those wide open throws!  If Jeff Fisher weren’t in some underground bunker right now, I’m sure his presence would’ve led to the Rams hitting on those plays!

By the way, I have a theory about why the Rams would fire Fisher in the same week they had to prepare for a Thursday game:  I think they really wanted to get rid of him – before things started to sour even further among the players and the rest of the organization – but they were worried that he’d ONCE AGAIN pull out a miracle win against the Seahawks.  And, if that happened, I mean, how do you fire a guy coming off of a win against a playoff team?  You don’t, that’s how!  You’re then stuck with him, and that would’ve given them that many fewer weeks to go on with their coaching search.

On another side note:  what the hell was Jeff Fisher’s son doing still coaching there?  If I were him, I would’ve quit out of solidarity!  Fuck the Rams!

I did think it was pretty funny that the kind of shit the Rams like to pull on us – aka the Fake Punt – went disasterously for them with Jeff Fisher out of the picture.  Meanwhile, I can’t even remember the last time the Seahawks ran a fake punt, but Jon Ryan absolutely killed it until he figuratively got killed.  A punter in the concussion protocol?  Only the Seahawks.  Only in 2016, the year where we can’t fucking have nice things anywhere.

Wilson had a pretty solid day by the numbers, but still had some questionable decisions.  His interception was thrown into triple coverage (I heard), and that throw to Graham at the back of the endzone ABSOLUTELY deserved a Richard Sherman rant on the sidelines!  I mean, SERIOUSLY Seahawks!  What the fuck is the MATTER with you?  STOP THROWING THE BALL FROM THE 1 YARD LINE, YOU MISERABLE CUNTS!!!

Somewhat surprisingly, the run game didn’t do anything.  Jon Ryan had the longest run of the night at 26 yards, and only needed 9 more to lead the team.  Thomas Rawls led the way with a miserable 1.6 yards per carry average, which … come on.  I know the Rams have a good D-line and everything, but what’s-his-name (Robert Quinn) was put on IR before the game, so they were down their best defensive end.  How are you going to win a game by three touchdowns, with their offense doing next-to-nothing all night, and only manage a total of 72 yards on 30 carries as a team?  This is some fucked up repugnant shit!

Tyler Lockett had himself a game, boy!  A career high in receiving yards at 130, tied a career high in receptions at 7, and yeah, fucking finally, his first receiving TD of the season!  I heard they gave him the start over Jermaine Kearse, which was a long time coming, really.  I like Kearse a lot, and I think he does a lot that he doesn’t get credit for, but he’s been miserable in the receiving game this year.  His bout of the Drops has returned from its banishment at the University of Washington; someone better check his lasik surgery to see if he needs a touch-up!  On top of that, Russell Wilson has this perverse need to get Kearse the ball on the reg, even though he’s this offense’s, like, 7th or 8th-best option when everyone’s healthy.  I get it, Kearse was a huge factor for us when we only employed a bunch of “pedestrians” at wide receiver, and he’s made some of the biggest catches in franchise history.  But, for whatever reason, this just isn’t his year, and to continuously force feed him the ball – particularly when we’ve got someone elite in Tyler Lockett just languishing there – is a crime against humanity, and against a very good football team looking to get back to the Super Bowl before it’s too late.

Doug Baldwin had himself a nice game too, with 5 catches and a TD.  Look for the vine of him absolutely obliterating the ankles of his defender on the TD catch; Allen Iverson would be proud.

Defensively, it looked like we hounded Goff pretty good.  Avril and Clark each had 1.5 sacks, Marsh added one of his own.  Michael Bennett got into the mix, and was a 1-man wrecking crew on the play that knocked him out of the game.  It initially sounded like a concussion, but ended up being a neck injury.  I don’t know if that’s better?  Let’s just hope it doesn’t keep him out of any games.

We gotta lock down that 2-seed.  Period.  Overall, a good team win, an important win in an important season.  Now, we need a little bit of help, and we need to take care of business the rest of the way.  Next game on Christmas Eve, so let’s rest up and get right.  Next week, I’ll do a post on the playoff situation as we hit the home stretch.  Two games to go!

Leave a Reply