The Official 2017 Seattle Mariners Preview, Part II: The Pitchers

You can read Part I HERE.

There are two ways this thing can go down in 2017:  either the Mariners break the curse and make it back into the post-season, or they don’t and the pitching is entirely to blame.

Now, there are also two ways that previous sentence can go down in 2017:  either I’m right, or the Mariners will find another way to screw both me and the entire fanbase by having good-enough pitching and yet still not making the playoffs somehow, but that’s neither here nor there.

It’s already starting, if I’m being honest, with all this Drew Smyly stuff (UPDATE:  out 6-8 weeks).  Why is it, in sports, that it always seems like teams suffer the most injuries at the spots they can least afford to suffer injuries?  It’s like the man with one leg who sprains his good ankle.  I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

It’s unfair to pin your hopes on one guy, but I have a feeling Smyly was going to be a key cog in our rotation.  Obviously, our chances start with what we get from Felix.  He needs to bounce back in a major way and be that Ace we’ve seen from him before.  Then, you figure the next guy up – the guy who has the biggest opportunity to really explode (in a good way) and possibly climb into that Ace realm – is James Paxton.  The variance on that guy ranges from Top End Starter all the way to Injured Waste of Space, with a lot of options in between.  Then, I always figured Smyly had the next-highest variance of possibilities on the team.  He was an erstwhile top prospect who has had success in this league, and it wasn’t hard to picture it all coming together for him.  If you could work out a Big Three of sorts in our rotation with Felix, Paxton, and Smyly, with those guys carrying the major load, you’d take what you could get out of Kuma and Gallardo and probably walk away with something resembling 90+ wins (depending on how the bullpen shakes out).

Kuma and Gallardo, by the by, have the least amount of variance on the team.  You know what you’re going to get with those guys, and as long as it’s something approaching .500 ball, you’ll take it and you’ll fucking like it.

But, now this Smyly thing happened, and we’ve already got to dip into our starting pitching reserves.  The only question now is, how long until disaster strikes again, and will Smyly be back in time to pick up the slack?

As for the bullpen, buckle up buckaroos!

There’s actually a lot to like about this unit, all things considered, but a lot of things would have to break right to expect these guys to be totally lockdown.  Edwin Diaz, for as talented as he is, is still going to be something of a rollercoaster.  Looking beyond just the Opening Day roster, Steve Cishek figures to have a major role in the back-end of the bullpen when he gets fully healthy and ready to fire, and we’ve all seen the kinds of meltdowns he’s capable of.  I look forward to Evan Scribner being a calming, dominant presence – based on his September last year and his Spring Training this year – but we don’t really know!  We’ve yet to see him when the games REALLY start to matter (while the Mariners were still “in contention” last September, it was going to take a minor miracle for them to claw all the way back into post-season play).  We better hope Scribner has what it takes, because Nick Vincent has looked like warm, hittable garbage this spring, and his stuff wasn’t all that good to begin with.  I have a feeling Vincent won’t be on the team by season’s end.  That Scrabble guy was our major bullpen free agent signing, to be our primary lefty reliever, and he’s certainly had his ups and downs.  You don’t sign a guy like him for 2 years and $11 million just to be a fucking LOOGY, so he better figure the fuck out how to limit the damage from right-handed hitters, because so far this spring they’re responsible for ALL of the runs he’s given up.

On the plus side, some of the younger guys look better than expected.  Dan Altavilla has all but won himself a spot on the team.  Tony Zych is also working his way back from injury, and should play a big role in this bullpen when he’s ready.  James Pazos is another lefty the team is looking at long and hard, though he’s suffering many of the same complications as Scrabble, with right-handed hitters bashing the shit out of him.  With someone like Pazos, though, I don’t think you mind as much letting him be a LOOGY for a while, to get his feet wet and build his confidence (especially if this team goes with 8-man bullpens for various stretches of the season).  Beyond that, you’ve got any number of non-roster guys who are doing great, but I’m having a hard time figuring out who’s slated to be in a minor league rotation vs. who’s fodder for our bullpen should the need arise.

Bottom line with these guys, I think the bullpen is good enough to get us there.  I would be legitimately surprised (and yet, as a longtime Mariners fan, not surprised whatsoever) if the bullpen totally fell apart like it did in 2015.

What is a concern is not just the rotation underperforming, but their underperformance having a drastically negative impact on our bullpen.  A dominant bullpen can carry the load for a short period of time, if the rotation goes into a slump (which always happens, at one point or another, on every team).  But, if the bullpen is expected to carry this pitching staff over a super-long stretch of games, it’s ultimately going to get over-worked and severely lose its effectiveness.  So, yeah, the bullpen COULD struggle when all is said and done, but you have to look at the whole picture and decide:  are these guys just duds, or did the rotation totally screw them over?

I keep going back and forth with my predictions for this team.  I know when I was in Reno, I thought the bet of over 85.5 wins was pretty solid.  But, I didn’t think it was solid enough to actually put my own money on it, so do with that what you will.  My feeling on the Mariners seems to change with my mood.  When I’m happy, I can see this team winning over 90 games and going pretty far.  When I’m unhappy, work is getting to me, and I’m obsessing over the 5,000th consecutive overcast day in fucking SEATTLE GOD DAMN WASHINGTON FUCK ME WHY DON’T I MOVE TO SAN DIEGO AND GET AWAY FROM ALL THIS BULLSHIT … my outlook on the Mariners’ prospects tends to swirl down the toilet along with my disposition.

I WANT to believe!  But, I’ve been burned time and time and time and time again.  Sometimes I think it’s safer just to predict another 80-something win season where the Mariners fall oh so short of the Wild Card.  I also think it’s safer because I worry if I predict a World Series championship, I’m jinxing the team, because I’m clinically insane.  Besides, if I go with everyone else and just say the Mariners will win 85 games, I can be pleasantly surprised if I’m wrong and they win more.

Well, I’m not going to do that this year.  THIS time, I’m actually going to go out on a ledge and risk looking QUITE the fool!  95 wins!  I say this not with excitement for what’s about to happen, or with the blind enthusiasm of a mental patient, but with terse resentment and overwhelming expectations.

You fucking owe this to us, Mariners!  I’m tired of pussy-footing around and blindly hoping for a “fun summer” or whatever.  I don’t just want you to keep things interesting until football season rolls around.  Fuck football season!  It’s not like the Seahawks are elite anymore anyway!  We’re all deluding ourselves in believing this team’s championship window is still open; they’ve been on a downward spiral since they beat Denver 43-8.  The Seahawks are old news; it’s the Mariners’ time now!

And we’ve put up with too much of your bullshit to let this thing go on one more season.  You better be great, you better take care of business in this division, and you better deliver the fucking goods come playoff time!  Because I’m sick and tired of carrying a torch for this team!  I want lots of wins and lots of success!

And baseball gods, if you’re listening, you can eat all the world’s dicks, because you fucking owe us too!  The Mariners have been baseball’s whipping boys since forever.  Even when we were good, we were morbidly unlucky!  It’s about time the Mariners defied all expectations, guys out-performed projections, and the team stayed mostly-healthy.  This Smyly shit will not stand!  I want GOOD luck from here on out!

I think I’m losing my mind, you guys, so I’m going to wrap this up.  Just a couple things to keep an eye on before I go.

The current odds for the Mariners to win the World Series is 30 to 1.  I think the odds were lower when I was in Reno (maybe 20 or 25 to 1).  I was thinking, with the way I like to throw money around when I’m down there, of putting $1,000 on this, just to see if I could see a miracle in my lifetime.  I didn’t, of course, but that’ll be something to look back on should something wonderful happen in 2017.

Also, the odds for Nelson Cruz to hit the most home runs in the Major Leagues was a whopping 20 to 1.  Last year, Cruz was second with 43, behind Mark Trumbo’s 47.  The year before that, Cruz was second with 44, behind Chris Davis’ 47.  The year before that, Cruz was first with 40.  Again, we’re talking among the entire Major Leagues!  He’s been 2nd, 2nd, and 1st in the last three years.  This spring, he looks just as good as ever, if not even better somehow.  Would THAT have been a good bet to throw $1,000 on?  I think it’s infinitely more likely to happen than the Mariners winning the World Series, so you could say I’ve been kicking myself for the last two weeks for not throwing money down on Cruz.  We’ll just see, I guess.

There was also a bet to see who could get more combined hits, home runs, and RBIs between Kyle Seager and his brother.  I think the younger Seager is a lock on that one; easiest money I ever left on the table.

The Official 2017 Seattle Mariners Preview, Part I: The Hitters

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been doing these season preview posts, and I’ve been splitting them up between hitters and pitchers.  So, you know, why mess with what’s so obviously working?

Last year, the Mariners were third in runs scored in the American League.  They were fourth in hits, fifth in OBP, slugging, and OPS, and seventh in batting average.  They were remarkably low in doubles and triples, but were second in the league in homers.  All in all, they were clearly in the upper third in most batting categories, which makes them the best hitting Mariners team we’ve seen in quite some time.  So, you can see some of the moves already starting to work.  Cano had a bounce-back year, Cruz kept on chugging along, and Seager had his best season to date.  But, the fill-in pieces, guys like Martin, Smith, Aoki, Marte, and Lee all had nice years too.  It was really a pleasant surprise and one of the main reasons why the 2016 Mariners were so much fun to watch.

Now, the pitching was another story, and the ultimate reason why we failed yet again to make the playoffs, but that’s a story for tomorrow.

This year, the Mariners are poised to be even BETTER on offense.  Last year, the Mariners were a good 110 runs behind Boston for first; this year, the M’s might be able to bridge that gap!  It wouldn’t shock me in the slightest to see this Mariners team lead the league in runs scored, barring injury of course.  The moves they’ve made to bolster this offense has been nothing short of outstanding:

  • Traded Vidal Nuno for backup catcher Carlos Ruiz (opting to let Chris Iannetta walk)
  • Traded a minor league pitcher for Danny Valencia (opting to let Lind & Lee walk)
  • Traded Taijuan Walker & Ketel Marte for Jean Segura & Mitch Haniger (and a minor league reliever)
  • Traded Nate Karns for Jarrod Dyson (opting to trade Seth Smith for a starting pitcher)

Let’s break this down.  Starting at the top, we’re going into 2017 with a combo of Zunino and Ruiz at catcher, as opposed to Iannetta and Clevenger.  Iannetta, as you may recall, had a pretty good start to the season, but quickly settled into everyday mediocrity.  Clevenger was just plain underutilized before he got injured and was lost for the season.  By the time Zunino got his call-up, he was a man possessed, but eventually settled into some bad habits.  His batting average plummeted, though his on-base percentage was a breath of fresh air.  The hope is, his good habits start to outweigh his bad ones, and he’s able to eventually hit for something resembling a respectable average (to go along with all of his natural power, his natural ability to draw HBPs, and his newfound skill for drawing walks).  And, if he doesn’t, Carlos Ruiz is there to pick up some of the slack.  He figures to be an immediate upgrade over Iannetta, with the option to take over full time if needed.  This is a win all the way around, particularly considering we didn’t give up much to get him.

Next, we’ve got Danny Valencia, who for now will be taking over for the combo of Adam Lind and Dae-ho Lee.  Lind was a disappointment for the entirety of 2016, aside from a few clutch late-game heroics.  Lee started off the season as the best story of the year, but as he got more playing time and opposing pitchers got more of a book on him, his numbers declined in the second half, to the point where he had to face a stint in Tacoma to get his swing under control.  Valencia is in no way a perfect, polished player, but he’s been fantastic the last two seasons, particularly against lefties, but improving against righties.  Even if he regresses while starting every day, he should still be a big improvement over Lind and what Lee became in the second half last year.  If Valencia can just hold it together until Vogelbach works on his game in Tacoma and gets called back up, we should be in good shape at first base for the first time in forever.

The deal that everyone’s hoping puts the Mariners over the top is the one that brought in Jean Segura and Mitch Haniger for Walker and Marte.  Marte has already been demoted to Triple-A, meanwhile Segura looks FANTASTIC so far this spring.  He hits for average, he’s got some pop in his bat, he can steal bases; the Mariners might have the biggest upgrade at any position in the entire American League from 2016 to 2017 in their switch from Marte to Segura.  I can’t WAIT for the season to start and I get to watch this guy every day.  Meanwhile, Haniger hasn’t slowed down one iota this spring, as you could make the argument he’s been the best player on the team in the month of March.  I know that means nothing, and I depressingly await his reverting to a pumpkin once the calendar flips to April.  But, if by the grace of all that is holy he manages to be the “surprise” player all the coaches believe he’ll be, we could be talking about this Taijuan Walker trade as highway robbery in favor of the Mariners.  So, you know, remember I said that when both of the Mariners’ guys flop out while Walker wins his second Cy Young Award in a few years.

Rounding out the outfield, we’ve got Jarrod Dyson, who figures to get plenty of playing time in left field.  Between Dyson and Haniger – replacing the likes of Seth Smith and Aoki/Guti – we’re talking about a MASSIVE improvement in our outfield defense.  This is no small thing, particularly when you consider our pitching staff and all the flyballs they tend to give up.  Dyson also figures to be a top-of-the-lineup hitter when he’s in there, who can steal a billion bases for you, so all around speed is the name of the game.  Dyson and Segura will be the primary base-stealers for you, but then there’s Martin (who had 24 last year) as well as Haniger, Heredia, and whoever ends up being our utility infielder.  When you think about late game heroics, I think you’re going to find we’ll be less reliant on the 10th inning home run, and more reliant on pinch runners stealing second and scoring on a single.  This could be HUGE for our record in 1-run games, which tends to be average-to-awful.

So, yeah, the hitting looks good!  As long as the Big Three don’t take significant steps back, or miss significant time with injuries, we should be right around the top of the American League in most important batting categories.  Leaving us with the ultimate question:  will we have enough pitching to win enough ballgames to get a spot in the post-season?

I’ll look into that tomorrow, as well as give you my official predictions on the season.

Shit Is Hitting The God Damned Fan In The Husky Basketball Program

It’s incredibly difficult to keep up with all of this, but I’m going to try my damnedest to give a recap.

So, remember all that excitement when the Huskies hired Mike Hopkins away from Syracuse and we thought we were getting someone with the potential to be special?  Well, I hope there’s some magic in that old silk hat he found, because the Huskies are hemorrhaging players, prospects, and even prospective assistant coaching candidates, with no relief in sight!  Where do I even begin?

Jason Hart, an assistant at USC many believed would be coming over with Hopkins, decided to stay in Southern California (probably with a hefty raise attached to his contract), so there goes our California recruiting connection.  Instead, the Huskies were able to hire unemployed Cameron Dollar – fresh off being fired by Seattle U for 8 years of head coaching mediocrity – so I guess that gives us maybe an “In” with the Seattle-area high schools.  You know, in case Will Conroy wasn’t enough.

Know that I’m writing this tight-lipped and a little bit annoyed:  we fired Romar … then we hired one of his top assistants from back in the Romar glory days?  If the idea is We Need To Make A Change, how exactly is Dollar bringing about this change?

It’s obviously not helping us keep the players we have on roster, nor the recruits we tabbed coming in our 2017 class!  The Huskies have officially lost 4 of the 5 recruits from our best-ever recruiting class, as Michael Porter Jr., Daejon Davis, Blake Harris, and Mamoudou Diarra have all de-committed/asked to be released from their LOI.  On top of that, reserve big man Matthew Atewe and starting big man Noah Dickerson have both decided they’re going to transfer, which ultimately leaves the Husky program in shambles heading into the 2017/2018 season.

On the bright side, we’ve got re-commits from the likes of David Crisp, Dominic Green, Carlos Johnson, and Matisse Thybulle, which I guess is better than nothing.  No word yet from Sam Timmins, Dan Kingma, or Devenir Duruisseau, but if you’re like me, you forgot Devenir Duruisseau was even on the roster (I thought he transferred ages ago!).  And, also, no word on potential incoming recruit Jaylen Nowell, but it fucking feels like only a matter of time before he asks for his release as well.

There might be a couple of other guys on the roster, walk-ons or whatnot, but they’re not important.  By my count, that’s 7 guys returning and 1 guy from our incoming Freshman class (for now).  Considering how late it is in the recruiting period, and considering the coaching staff isn’t even fully formed yet, I don’t know what we’re supposed to expect out of the Huskies come this fall, but get ready for an overwhelmingly last place finish!

Even if we were able to keep Dickerson, Atewe, and just the two local recruits, next season would’ve been a struggle.  But this is insanity times!  I hate to say I told you so, but this is what happens when you fire a head coach that’s this beloved.  When you sign on to join a university – particularly in basketball, because they’re such a close-knit unit – you sign because of a coach, not the school.  These guys signed on to play for Lorenzo Romar, not the University of Washington, for better or for worse.

I shudder to think of what this will mean for the program going forward.  I mean, if you thought last year was bad, get a load of 2018!  If you thought we bottomed out before, you ain’t seen nothing yet!  So, on top of having the stink of being the worst Pac-12 basketball team next year, we’ve got the stink of a school that fired a beloved, long-term head coach.  So, you know, not for nothing but we all better hope Mike Hopkins can coach his ass off, or this year of “growing pains” or whatever could build into an entire tenure of utter humiliation.

Fancy that, it’s like Washington ISN’T a destination program for college basketball or something!  Weird!

Ariel Miranda & Dan Vogelbach Will Start The Season In Tacoma

The end of Spring Training is nigh, and as such, the Mariners are whittling their roster down to what will become the Opening Day 25.  In that hullabaloo, some interesting decisions have been made.

From the beginning, most of the beat writers and such have been predicting that Ariel Miranda would start the season in the Mariners’ bullpen, as a second – or even a third – lefty.  This was before his last three starts, where he gave up a combined 10 runs (9 earned) in 8.2 innings, with 7 walks and 7 strikeouts.  The spin is the organization wants to keep him starting, in case he needs to come up and replace someone in our rotation, but the fact of the matter is the Mariners were planning on taking the best pitchers regardless of whether they started or not.  Ariel Miranda isn’t pitching like one of the top 12 or 13 pitchers on this roster, so he gets to go to Tacoma for a while to figure it out.  A promising start early in Spring Training comes to a disappointing close.  Hopefully he gets back on track pretty quickly, because I know we’re going to need him at some point.

The other surprise move is Dan Vogelbach being optioned to Triple-A.  He had been pencilled in as the team’s starting first baseman; the only concern the team had was whether or not he could handle the defensive duties.  From the sounds of things, he’s been okay, but could probably use a little work.  The spin is the oranization is treating this like a James Paxton/Mike Zunino situation from last year:  they want him to work on improving his game in the comfort and anonymity of Tacoma, until the time is right and he’s called back up.  The fact of the matter is, his defense is probably good enough, but after the first week or so of Spring Training, his hitting has gone down the toilet.  Which is kinda what I predicted all along:  something always suffers when you’re trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

Dan Vogelbach isn’t a natural first baseman.  He’s really just a DH that the team needs to shoehorn into a defensive spot to justify having him on the roster.  So, he’s been scrambling to work on the ins and outs of the first base position, and as a result his hitting has taken a backseat.

Like I’ve always said, it’s so much easier to bring up a prospect if he’s got the defensive part down pat.  Because, even if you’re a supposed natural at the plate in the minor leagues like Vogelbach is, there’s ALWAYS going to be a learning curve when you make the jump to the Majors.  Guys who only have to worry about one part of their games always have an easier go of it than guys who have to worry about both.

It’s too early to pull out the Bust label, but this is definitely an opening salvo.  Something tells me the first base position is going to be another need going into 2018.

With Shawn O’Malley having recently had an emergency appendectomy, it’s looking more and more like Taylor Motter will be the utility infielder (including backup first baseman).  As Motter and starter Danny Valencia are both righties, we lose that first base platoon, so I hope Valencia gets good at hitting right-handed pitching in a hurry.

This feels like a setback, but a minor one that we should have no trouble overcoming.  I always kind of expected Valencia to play closer to an everyday role anyway; I just thought he’d split more time between first base and right field.  Our depth takes a bit of a hit, but that just means guys like Motter, Haniger, and maybe Heredia have to pick up the slack.  I’m going to be REALLY interested to see how those guys perform if they make the Opening Day roster.

In other news, the Mariners say they’re going with an 8-man bullpen to start the regular season, and we’re all having a tough time predicting who those guys will be.  Particularly with guys like Cishek and Zych coming back from injury, and with Miranda and a few others already getting demoted to Tacoma.

  1. Edwin Diaz
  2. Evan Scribner
  3. Nick Vincent
  4. Marc Rzepczynski
  5. Dan Altavilla?
  6. James Pazos?
  7. Casey Fien?
  8. Some guy on another team we acquire in trade?

Yeah, I dunno.  I guess we’ll see.

All Your Backup Linebackers Are Belong To Seahawks

Anybody know who Michael Wilhoite or Terence Garvin is?  No?  Me neither.

I’ll be honest with you, the Seahawks are doing a lot more than I thought they’d do in free agency this year.  In particular, around the edges of the roster, where you normally find the Seahawks filling in with draft picks and undrafted free agents.  It’s not necessarily how the Seahawks did it at their peak – from 2012-2014 – but it’s how they’ve had to do it since their superstars have started getting paid.

For the most part, the Seahawks built up their roster through the draft, and filled in with some key veteran free agents to be one of the most dominant teams of recent memory.  But, since those young studs have started seeing second contracts – and as we’ve headed towards some of their third contracts – you can’t pay everybody, and as such, the org has had to skimp where necessary.  But, as the salary cap has gone up, and as the Seahawks haven’t had that many big contracts to dish out recently (thanks to the God-awful 2013 draft, and the pretty bad 2014 draft), they’ve actually come into a little money this year to spend on veteran free agents again!  Guys like the aforementioned Wilhoite & Garvin.  As well as McDougald and Brown and Aboushi.  These are people who will feature primarily on the Special Teams, but also guys who figure to be more reliable as backups if and when injury strikes.

The 2016 Seahawks were kind of a mess from the get-go, and just when you thought they’d turn a corner, some other disaster would strike.  While the offensive line deservedly gets its share of the blame, there are plenty of areas to spread that around.  That game in Green Bay was particularly alarming, for instance.  We haven’t seen a defeat like that around here since Pete Carroll’s first couple of seasons in Seattle.  And yet, even when the Seahawks controlled their own destiny, they blew it at home against the Cardinals.  How different would those playoffs have played out had the Seahawks owned the #2 seed?  We’ll never know.

So, in general, I like what the Seahawks are doing on the fringe of the roster.  Backup linebacker/starting SAM linebacker could’ve been a major area of concern in the upcoming draft.  Instead, the Seahawks have brought in a bunch of guys who can compete for those spots right away, reducing the need for the Seahawks to fill that role with a draft pick.  That doesn’t mean they won’t select one, if he’s the best player available, but if things don’t slot appropriately, they don’t have to REACH for one, and I think that’s pretty important.

Let’s face it, the Seahawks are going to have their hands full with this draft, just in replenishing the secondary.  I would expect our top pick to be a corner, and I wouldn’t be shocked if the top two picks were both in that area.  I’d be a little sad if we’re unable to get one of those Husky DBs, but that’s neither here nor there.  The interior pass rush is another area of concern, as well as the O-Line, safety, and tight end.  While the Seahawks COULD look to bolster the linebacker position for the long term, I just don’t see a need as long as Bobby Wagner and K.J. Wright are balling out the way they are.  These moves to sign veterans at the position only confirm that line of thinking.

Seahawks Add “Competition” To The Kicker Position

The Seahawks are the kings of preaching neverending competition, then stacking the deck HEAVILY one-sided so the players they want to win this so-called competition end up getting the jobs.  It happened with Russell Wilson getting the start in the 3rd pre-season game of his rookie year against a VERY hapless Chiefs team (instead of starting against better defenses in Denver or Tennessee); all of a sudden, Russell Wilson does Russell Wilson things and BOOM, he’s the starter.  It’s happened the last two years with the O-line, with the Seahawks scraping the bottom of the barrel just so their mediocre draft picks and undrafted rookies look better.  And now, they’ve brought in a guy who’s never attempted a kick in a regular season game to compete with Blair Walsh.

I’M ON TO YOU GUYS!

John Lunsford is a guy, apparently.  As I said, he hasn’t kicked a real field goal in the NFL in his life.  His final year of college was in 2015, so I assume in the last year-plus he’s just been biding his time, practicing kicking?

I dunno, I got nothing here.  My only question is:  who do the Seahawks WANT to win this job?  That’s what’s unclear.  Both Lunsford and Walsh appear to be equally mediocre, albeit in different ways.  Maybe there’s more upside with Lunsford, with the unknown factor?  He apparently hit 12 field goals in college of 50 yards or more, with a long of 60, so the leg is there.  And the leg isn’t just going to go away; ostensibly you could see his leg get stronger and his kicks go farther the more he practices and the more he hones his craft.  Obviously, he’s going to have to get WAY more accurate than he was in college, but as I said, what else does he have to do between now and training camp?

This also doesn’t eliminate the possibility of the Seahawks drafting a kicker, or plucking one from among the undrafted, but I’d be hard pressed to see the Seahawks have three field goal kickers on their 90-man roster for any amount of time.  Which means one of these two guys would have to be cut in this scenario.

This whole situation has disaster written all over it, but I don’t know what else there is for the Seahawks to do.  Overpaying Steven Hauschka for a pretty lame season, on top of his comments about struggling with the new, longer extra point, was not something I was comfortable having the Seahawks do.  I mean, I hate the longer extra points as much as the next guy, but you can’t let them get into your head like they have or else you’re essentially done as a kicker in this league.

I guess the Seahawks are just going to have to hope and pray one of these guys nuts up and doesn’t let the moment get too big for him.  Hoo boy, does the fun ever START?

P.S.  Why aren’t there more hybrid punter/field goal kickers out there?  You’re telling me one guy can’t handle the intricacies of both jobs?  It’s all kicking!  It’s all foot hitting ball!  IT’S ALL PIPES!!!

This Dumb Marshawn Lynch Story Is Dumb

When I was a kid, my mom would buy lottery tickets, and every once in a while – usually right before they announced the numbers on TV (remember when that was a thing?) – my mom would ask us what we wanted to do when we won.  And we’d perk up and get all excited, listing off all the stuff we’d buy, the places we’d see, the houses we’d live in.

And then we’d not win the lottery.  Because it’s the fucking lottery.  And we’d all be a little disappointed and return to stupid reality for the rest of the night.

It’s like that.  A little bit.  Like when you’re in high school or college and you’re sitting around with your friends making plans, talking about taking a trip somewhere or pooling your money together to open up a bar.  It’s not serious!  It’s not real!  But, you talk about it like it is, until it starts feeling real.  Then, you wake up with your hangover and it was all a dream.

It’s like that, again, a little bit.  Like sitting around worrying about what your friends are going to do after college, that FOMO feeling you have absolutely no control over.  What’s going to happen is going to happen, so what’s the point in getting all worked up over it?  Why dream about shit that’s never going to happen in a million years?  I’m not saying don’t have dreams, but only dream about something if you’re going to work to make it a reality; otherwise you’re just jerking yourself off.

This Marshawn Lynch thing is so stupid.  Will he come out of retirement?  WHO CARES?  I hate having opinions about hypotheticals!  But, we’re in the middle of March and there’s no NBA in Seattle, so I have literally nothing else to write about.  If I had my druthers, I wouldn’t write a damn thing about this ordeal until something ACTUALLY happens.

This is me, jerking myself off.  This post is my handful of cum.

I love Beastmode as much as the next guy and wish he’d never retired in the first place.  I wish he was playing for the Seahawks last year and I wish he would’ve dominated for us while Russell Wilson was hobbled.  He might not have gotten us to a Super Bowl, but he would’ve made all the difference in the world had he remained healthy for the full year.

But, he did retire, and he didn’t play a lick of football last year.  I think it’s dumb to want to come back after a layoff like that, but if that’s what he wants to do, more power to him.  If he wants to play for his hometown Raiders, all the better.  I think he’d fit in really well on that team and maybe push them over the top.  I also think the Raiders would be foolish to trade for him at the cap number he’s at now; they’d be much better off taking a flyer on him at the minimum, plus incentives.

Which is exactly why there’s zero chance the Raiders give up even a 7th round draft pick for him.  If you’re a Seahawks fan thinking otherwise, you’re deluding yourself.  The Seahawks have zero leverage in this thing.  They can’t hold Lynch hostage because they can’t afford the $9 million cap hit.  Besides, they wouldn’t hold him hostage, because he was a HUGE part of our success, and the franchise has eyes on remaining affiliated with him going forward.  I’m sure his spot in the Ring of Honor is only a formality.  Having him come back to raise the 12 flag is only a matter of time.  Hell, they might even want to retire his 24 at some point down the line.  They won’t be able to do that if they piss him off now by not letting him go to sign with Oakland.

Again, though, I go back to Lynch.  Why would he want to do this?  Why would he want to come back for the minimum?  Why would he want to put his body through the grinder and risk another serious injury?  He’s done it all!  He’s made millions, he’s got his ring, he’s got a pretty strong case for the Hall of Fame as it is, and he had the luxury of going out on top (or, at least, with the ability to play multiple seasons more).  How many running backs can say that, aside from Jim Brown and Barry Sanders?

NFL Twitter is great, because you stay current on all the latest news and you’re able to learn more about salary cap and draft prospects than you ever could just trying to sift through ESPN or SI.com.  But, I’ve read more God damned Tweets about Marshawn Lynch possibly returning over the past week than I care to, and it’s driving me fucking insane.  Let this PLEASE be the last word on this until something actually happens.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Seahawks Sign Depth Pieces At O-Line, Linebacker, Safety

Guard – Oday Aboushi
Linebacker – Arthur Brown
Safety – Bradley McDougald

They’re all 1-year deals for pretty low money, so again with that theme of having lots of roster flexibility going into 2018.  They’ve also got some starting experience and aren’t necessarily guaranteed anything by coming here.  In fact, I would venture all are blocked at their respective positions, but all are looking to rebuild some of their value by coming here and playing for a potential winner.

Oday Aboushi is another guy to throw onto the O-Line pile.  He’ll likely come in and compete right away with Mark Glowinski and Rees Odhiambo.  The more the merrier is what I say.  No one is confusing Aboushi with an All Pro, but it wouldn’t shock me if he’s better than Glowinski right now and gives us at least SOME modicum of improvement at the guard position from day one.

Arthur Brown looks like a Special Teamer, and possibly a Brock Coyle replacement.  Talking cheaper, talking possibly more athletic, talking a guy who was once a really highly rated prospect at the linebacker position, we could be looking at someone who has yet to fulfill his full potential.  I don’t know if you look forward to him starting on this defense that’s already stacked at linebacker (as an injury replacement, of course), but if he’s a baller on special teams, I’ll gladly take him.

Bradley McDougald is the most intriguing of the three, as a guy coming from Tampa Bay who has extensive starting experience as a free safety.  The Bucs opted to go with someone a little more established – and thus a lot more costly – but I think this is a fantastic move for the Seahawks.  Upgrading safety depth was one of my biggest priorities for the Seahawks going into this offseason, particularly with how terrible this team was against the pass after Earl Thomas went down.  I can’t imagine a scenario where McDougald is any worse than Steven Terrell; I very much CAN imagine a scenario where he’s a whole helluva lot better, and will be an asset to this team should one of our starting safeties go down.

All in all, things are shaping up pretty nicely heading into the NFL Draft on April 27th-29th.  Cornerback is the obvious priority #1 at this point, which you have to think will be knocked out either in the first round or early second round (assuming the Seahawks trade down, which a lot of us fans believe they will).

Seahawks Re-Signed DeShawn Shead, Luke Willson, & Neiko Thorpe

Some old news to catch up on:  the Seahawks re-signed some guys!  All on 1-year deals, all for pretty low amounts.

Let’s go down the line.  I like the Shead signing an awful lot.  There’s really no downside here.  You bring him back on a 1-year deal, low cost, and if he comes back at midseason or for the stretch run and fills in at cornerback, it could be a boon for the defense.  At the very least, you figure there could be injuries and to get not only a healthy body that late into the season, but one who’s familiar with the system and has had good success in the system is just a no-brainer.  But, then you also take into account the high likelihood that the Seahawks are going to go hard in the draft for DBs, and you just don’t know how they’re going to end up.  Yeah, this draft is rated pretty highly for secondary players, but you don’t know how good they are until you get them on the field.  So, if they come in and struggle, it’s nice to know Shead is there and should be available for you at some point in the regular season.

And, if he comes back and plays really well, then you can look to maybe extend him long-term.  Hell, after this season, there isn’t any more guaranteed money on Jeremy Lane’s deal – and only a small amount of dead money – so if you’d rather have Shead than Lane, that’s possible going into 2018.

Really, we’re talking about a security blanket when we’re talking about having Shead in the fold for 2017.  Aside from him, we only have Sherman and Lane as guys with experience starting in the league.  When you figure we’re going into next season with just those two guys, maybe a couple of rookies, and a bunch of holdovers who don’t have much in the way of experience playing on defense, it’s a scary proposition.  But, knowing Shead is there, just biding his time until he gets healthy around November or December, I think we’ll be okay until we can get him in the fold.  And, if the rookies turn out to be great, then all the better; we have extra depth.

Speaking of the holdovers, Neiko Thorpe is back!  He’s an excellent special teams player, so if for no other reason, it’s nice to have him back doing that.  He’s also a backup cornerback who will get thrown into the mix in Training Camp to see who starts opposite Sherm this year.  He’s fairly tall, he’s got the right size, he’s a 4-year vet with 1 year in the Seahawks’ system.  Now, essentially, it’s on him to keep working on his craft and win the job in camp.  I have very little frame of reference on his defensive game, but I don’t remember being wildly impressed with him when Shead went down in the Atlanta game.  But, we’ll see.  The guys who tend to win starting jobs with the Seahawks’ secondary and actually play well are the guys we draft, not the guys we trade for or sign off the streets.  Best case scenario is probably a Kelcie McCray; I think if he gives you that type of production, it’s good enough for now.  You still hope that one of the rookies we bring in this year ends up being the guy to take over.

Finally, we’ve got Luke Willson back as our #2 tight end.  He tested the free agency waters and apparently didn’t care for what he saw, so he’s back on a 1-year deal.  It was probably the wrong time for a tight end of his calibre to become a free agent, what with all the great tight ends coming out of the draft.  But, at the same time, I’m a little shocked – with all the money other NFL teams are throwing around willy nilly – that he couldn’t get anything more than what he got with the Seahawks.  $1.8 million plus incentives?  I mean, it’s BARELY a raise over what he got last year!

Don’t get me wrong, I love the deal for the Seahawks.  He knows the system, he’s a quality backup, he blocks well, catches well, runs well.  As an offensive weapon, he’s going to beat most linebackers who try to cover him.  In that sense, again, how did he not command more money on the open market?  The only thing I can think of is that we simply haven’t utilized him all that much, and he’s taking the hit accordingly.

I’m interested to see how the tight end position looks for the Seahawks in a year from now.  Nick Vannett is obviously someone the Seahawks will want to involve more in 2017.  He’s also the only tight end on the roster after this year, as both Willson and Graham are currently slated to be free agents.  Could that mean the Seahawks are looking to draft one of the tight ends in this deep class and pair him with Vannett going forward?

I guess we’ll find out.  In the meantime, these are three moves I’m pretty happy about.

Washington Huskies Hired Mike Hopkins

When I headed off to my long weekend in Reno, the talk of the local sports world was on Lorenzo Romar’s firing.  When I woke up on Sunday, preparing to hop on a plane back to Seattle, his replacement had been hired and here we go.

Mike Hopkins has been an assistant coach at Syracuse since 1996.  He’s been the official “head coach in-waiting” under Jim Boeheim since 2015.  I know so little about Syracuse basketball, I was actually surprised to learn Boeheim was still there.  For some reason, I thought he retired a year or two ago.  Other than that, I know Syracuse has been a premiere college basketball program for some time.  I know they play some sort of zone defense exclusively.  And, I know they make the NCAA Tournament almost every year.

What I’ve learned about Mike Hopkins is that he was supposed to take over as head coach for Syracuse at the conclusion of the 2017/2018 season.  I’ve learned that a number of schools have tried to hire him away, including USC and Oregon State, but for various reasons it fell through.  I’ve learned that Hopkins has been the primary recruiter for some time with the Orangemen (with Boeheim being the “closer” for some of the top recruits), and that he’s very actively involved in the team’s gameplans and scouting.  So, you know, we’re talking about a situation with Boeheim that you see a lot when a head coach has been in the same spot for upwards of 41 years:  you see an old man delegating the shit out of his responsibilities.  And so, in essence, we’re hiring away the “real” head coach of Syracuse, in all but name only.

My initial thought when I heard about the signing was:  why would he come to Washington NOW?  If he’s really a year away from taking over at Syracuse – which is the only school he’s ever worked for, as well as the school he played for from 1989-1993 – then why does he jump ship now?  It has since come out that Syracuse is going to extend Jim Boeheim beyond 2018, which they are spinning as a move done in response to Washington’s hire, but I’m not so sure.  It would stand to reason that Boeheim – being effectively forced out by the school when they announced Hopkins would be the head coach in-waiting – resented not being able to go out on his own terms, and has fought behind the scenes to stick around.  I’d be willing to put money down that Boeheim had an extension either in place or in the process of being in place, and once Hopkins heard about it, he opened himself up to moving onto another program.

I’m sure there are other reasons that will be discussed this week when he comes over for his initial press conference.  I can’t imagine it would be fun to be the guy who follows in Boeheim’s footsteps once he retires; that’s a huge burden to bear.  In Washington, he’s got a chance to build something great.  If he’s as good a coach and recruiter as I’m hearing, he could be for Washington what Boeheim is to Syracuse.  And, then there’s the fact that he has family on the west coast and whatnot.  It’s never any one thing that brings a guy to make a decision like this, so I’m sure we’ll get fed multiple lines of reasoning.

As far as how I think he’ll do, I’m going to go with Cautiously Optimistic.  He’s never been the head guy before.  Outside of recruiting circles, he’s a virtual unknown.  While he’s FROM the West Coast, he has no real basketball ties to this side of the country, so whoever he ends up hiring as his assistants will factor HUGELY.  And, even though we’re not going to be able to hold onto Romar’s final recruiting class, I think he’ll be a nice breath of fresh air for the players who stick around.  Hopefully, he’ll be able to light a fire under them, particularly on the defensive side of the ball.

I have a general feeling about new college head coaching hires, and it’s this:  I’m never going to trust them completely, until they give me reason to.  The college game, whether it’s football or basketball, is all about jumping from school to school.  And I can’t help but see Washington as a stepping stone to other places.  Just as soon as they have some success here, they’re gone.  It didn’t take much for Coach Sark to fly the coup back to USC.  I’m sure Chris Petersen gets calls daily about going to some bigger program.  Rick Neuheisel was seemingly taking weekly interviews with other schools and NFL teams, for crying out loud!  Washington isn’t a destination; it’s a slingshot to bigger and better things.

While Boeheim isn’t going anywhere for the time being, he’s still over 70 years old.  Who’s to say he won’t retire in the next 3-5 years?  And, when that time comes, what’s going to stop Mike Hopkins from returning to his Dream Job, particularly if he turns the Husky program around and gets us back into the Tourney in that time?

Or, shit, what if UCLA’s job opens up in that time?  His west coast family is in the southern California area, so that has to be of interest.  And, if he does REALLY well at Washington, what’s stopping him from going to any number of bigger basketball schools?

Obviously, money talks, and if you’re a good-enough coach, you can establish a top line basketball program literally anywhere.  If Gonzaga can be as well regarded as it is, there’s no reason why Washington couldn’t.  It then becomes a point of whether or not Washington wants to invest in the basketball program as much as it does the football program.  So, you know, at this point we’re talking about not trusting the university enough, but let’s not go down that road until we have to.

We’ll see, I guess, is the bottom line.  First thing’s first:  how will Mike Hopkins salvage next season’s recruiting class?  It won’t define his tenure by any means, but it’s the first big test on his desk.