The Mariners Continue To Mariners Their Season

Well, I had my first mid-Mariners game nap of the season, so I guess we’re in full swing now!

What a fucking snooze this team is.  Jesus Christ.  I really appreciate the hitters showing up to play!  It’s nice to know everyone is taking this season so seriously, considering it’s very likely our last reasonable shot at making the playoffs for a while.  Or, to put it another way:  the Mariners aren’t likely to get any BETTER as their veterans age; not that it matters with the way everyone’s playing right now.

Hisashi Iwakuma, to his credit, kicked off his 2017 with a Quality Start:  6 innings, 2 solo homers, 3 walks, 4 hits, 2 strikeouts.  In 83 pitches, so as to not tire out his arm for the next start.  And the bullpen did their jobs!  A scoreless two innings for three more pitchers, as we make good use of this obscenely large bullpen.  Still haven’t been able to work the closer into a game though!  Might be nice to do that pretty soon here.

The offense had marginally more success than it did in Game 1; at least last night we scored AH run.  Sure, it was an infield single that scored a guy from third base, but I’m certain it’s only a matter of time before the Mariners hit the ball OUT of the infield for an RBI!

Cano continues to put good wood on the ball, showing just how much he loves playing in Houston.  He had a double, as did Mike Haniger for his first hit as a Mariner (scored our only run too).  Jarrod Dyson had a hustle-double in the 9th inning against their closer to make things interesting for a spell, but aside from Danny Valencia’s two hits, no one else did much of anything.

Today, I’m gonna break my shit list off in Nelson Cruz’s behind, because what kind of a start to the season is this?!  Three strikeouts in two games?  0 for 7, including 0 for 4 with runners in scoring position???  You’re supposed to be our motherfucking cleanup hitter, so why don’t you start cleaning up some of this shit?!  I mean, fuck me, we had a runner on third with less than two outs and you STRIKE OUT?  Then, the very next inning, we get a runner to second and you ground out to the short stop?  You’re BETTER than this, so start fucking playing like it!

Is it concerning to anyone that 4 of our 10 hits are of the infield variety?  Forget controlling the zone for a minute, how about let’s work on making solid contact with the baseball?  Lifting that shit up into the air and whatnot.

Also, with 19 strikeouts in two games, and 0 stolen bases, this isn’t the version of Mariners baseball that I was promised.  I want my money back, please.

We get to do this all over again tonight.  Let’s see if Leonys Martin can keep his streak of going 0 for 4 with 2 strikeouts alive.  At what point do we drop him to the 9-hole, and then at what point do we take his ass out of the lineup altogether?

Because, the thing is, it’s one thing to be a good offense against the crap pitchers of the league, but if this offense is to be REALLY special, it’s got to get it done against the really good pitchers too.  What’s worse is, I don’t even know if Dallas Keuchel or Lance McCullers are even THAT good!  I mean, they’re pretty good, but not THIS overpowering, are they?