Well, The Fucking Mariners Lost Again

It does seem like we got some semblance of the Good Kuma in this one, though it obviously didn’t end very well.  He was cruising along during the parts of the game I saw, before my social drinking brought me to a location that didn’t have the game on TV.  When I stopped watching, the Mariners had a 1-0 lead and things were looking promising.  Then, it all went to shit.

Iwakuma gave up a solo homer in the fifth to tie it, a solo homer in the sixth to take the L, and a double that would eventually be sacrificed home to rub salt in the wounds.  Meanwhile, as alluded to just now, the Mariners’ offense couldn’t do much of anything.  Yet again, a mediocre left-handed starter absolutely gave us fits, as Sean Manaea spun 6 innings of brilliance against a really frustrating set of Mariners bats.

Danny Valencia sucks dog shit.  He has ONE JOB, and that’s to be a good hitter against left-handed pitching.  In spite of his career numbers being really fucking glowing against lefties, this year he’s actually somehow WORSE against them!  .111/.333/.111 is the line he has right now against lefties, which is un-fucking-acceptable.  His dumb ass is here to be a platoon partner at first base, only since Dan Vogelbach is destined to be a bust, we’re stuck with Valencia full time, and it’s a God damn nightmare.  I never thought I’d see the day I longed for Adam Lind to be back in my life.  Hell, Justin Fucking Smoak would be a better option at this point!

Also, middle of the order?  Yeah, I’m looking at the big swinging dicks of Cano, Cruz, and Seager:  we’re going to need a good game out of you more than once out of every seven days, okay?  WHERE’S THE BEEF, YOU TURKEYS???  You are our power hitters, and right now you’re hitting like a bunch of Nancy’s.  Mitch Haniger can’t fucking do everything!  GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER AND GET ON A HOT STREAK RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Two games.  Two games lost to this God-foresaken A’s team.  Typical fucking Mariners bullshit.  Can’t wait to be swept this weekend.

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