The 2017 Seattle Mariners Are The Unluckiest Team I’ve Ever Seen

I should point out the Mariners already lost before the game even started, with Paxton going on the DL and with uber-bust Mike Zunino getting sent to Tacoma (with Tuffy Gosewisch coming back to backup Carlos Ruiz).  Then, they lost to the Rangers in 13 innings, by a score of 3-1, after blowing SO MANY FUCKING SCORING OPPORTUNITIES.  And then they lost a third time when a couple more pitchers went down with injury, because this team hasn’t suffered enough.

Because this fanbase hasn’t suffered enough.

Apparently Paxton is only going to miss 2-3 starts, but I dunno.  Even if he comes back, I’m sure five more guys will go down.  When it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.

Between all of those pre-game shenanigans and the thought of a Gallardo/Darvish matchup that evening, I’ll admit, the thought of putting much effort into watching the game didn’t appeal to me.  After the Mariners got burned by replay twice in the first inning, that sealed it.  I dipped in here and there, but went to bed after Gallardo finished his sixth inning.

For anyone looking for a silver lining, you could point to Gallardo having his best performance of the season.  6 innings, 1 run, 4 hits, 2 walks, and 3 strikeouts.  He has one more impressive line than that this year, but that was in an 11-1 blowout; this was a game that was tied 1-1 after four innings, so obviously a lot more pressure.  It would remain 1-1 into the 13th inning, so another silver lining could be the bullpen.  But, again, back-to-back injuries in the 11th puts a huge damper on that.

Jean Machi has looked like the real fucking deal in his 3 appearances this week since being called up for I can’t even remember who.  Casey Fien, I guess.  But, he had to come out thanks to nerve damage in his pitching hand, causing him to be unable to grip the baseball (which, as far as pitching injuries go, seems like the worst one you can get; I mean, what does a pitcher do without hands?).  Evan Marshall was called in to replace Machi, and somehow blew out his hamstring after 2 pitches, recording no outs.  Recall he was last seen in that 19-9 disaster against Detroit, where he gave up 7 runs in 2 innings, so it’s safe to say Marshall was less tied into Mariners success this season.

Regardless, though, this shit is really starting to add up.

Last night’s game may have gone 13 innings, but it was lost in the bottom of the 10th.  Jean Segura led off with a double, and all Gamel had to do was get a fucking bunt down in fair territory.  He instead somehow managed to strike out looking, which likely would have put me in such a boiling rage (had I watched it live) that I may have died from a coronary, so probably better that I went to bed.  Cano ended up getting intentionally walked (which gave him 3 walks on the night, to go with 2 hits, including a solo homer back in the 4th), which brought us to Nelson Cruz, who flew out to center that – by all accounts – would have been deep enough to score Segura from third had Gamel done his fucking job.  Seager would ground out to end the threat, and from there it was all just a waiting game until the Rangers mashed a 2-run homer off of Emilio Pagan in the 13th to take the hard luck loss, because he was the last available reliever in the ‘pen.

Speaking of Gamel, he came up short on a fly ball down the right field line back in the first inning that – after review declared it to be fair – led to the Rangers scoring their only run in regulation.  So, in MANY ways, Gamel is the fucking goat of this game.  Thanks for nothing, dick.

And with Chase De Jong starting tonight, followed by TBD From Tacoma starting tomorrow, this weekend should prove to be as demoralizing as advertised.  Thankfully, I’ll be nowhere near a television tonight, so I won’t have to be subjected to this nonsense.

2017 Mariners Misery Tracker

  • Drew Smyly – 60 day DL
  • Steve Cishek – starts season on DL from offseason hip surgery
  • Tony Zych – starts season on DL, since returned
  • Jean Segura – On DL for 2 weeks in April
  • Mitch Haniger – On DL for approx 1 month
  • Felix Hernandez – On DL for approx 1 month
  • James Paxton – On DL for at least 10 days
  • Evan Scribner – On DL for who knows how long
  • Evan Marshall – Blew out hamstring, will miss considerable time
  • Jean Machi – nerve damage in pitching hand

And we’re only one month and one week into the season.

One thought on “The 2017 Seattle Mariners Are The Unluckiest Team I’ve Ever Seen

  1. Forget about the most unluckiest team in 2017, they’re are the unluckiest team for the past 16 years! They should’ve won the World Series in 95,97,01 and atlease went to the playoffs in 02,03,04,13,14,15,16 Because we actually had a good team in 2013 and so on.

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