Another Day, Another Garbage Yovani Gallardo Start

When the chips are down, you find out who the fighters are and who are the wastes of fucking life.

I have a lot of respect for a lot of guys on the Mariners right now.  Shit is REAL bad, but these guys are going out there and getting the job done.  Jean Segura, Nelson Cruz, Robinson Cano, Kyle Seager.  Hell, Danny Valencia started off the season as a wreck, and look at how he’s built up his numbers!  Heredia and Gamel have stepped up in a major way – even if they’ve cooled off over the last couple weeks – in the wake of Leonys Martin being sent to Tacoma and Mitch Haniger spending so much time on the DL.

On the pitching side of things, obviously we’re talking about the bulk of our hardships here.  But, I can’t say enough about how Ariel Miranda has stepped his game up this season.  He’s gone from a guy who’s good one day, bad the next, and he’s morphed into a guy who is consistently keeping the Mariners in more games than not.  The Mariners are 6-4 in his starts this season, and you could argue two of those losses were very much on the offense not getting it done.

In the bullpen, it’s been a disaster, but there are a few bright spots.  Scrabble, Zych, Vincent, and Pazos have all stepped up in a major way this season.

The point is, there are a lot of fighters on this Mariners team.  I wouldn’t say they’re able to keep the Mariners afloat – as we’re now 7 games under .500 with yesterday’s 3-0 defeat – but they’re at the very least slowing down the drowning somewhat.

Then, there’s Yovani Gallardo.  He’s been a burr in my fucking saddle pretty much since the day we (ugh) traded Seth Smith for him.  And, look, I understood the rationale then and I understand the rationale now:  Seth Smith is, at best, a platoon outfielder with very limited defensive skills, while the Mariners had a need for a veteran, back-of-the-rotation starter.  But, while Seth Smith is over in Baltimore doing Seth Smith things (10 extra base hits in 105 at bats, with an okay batting average, a great on-base percentage, and he’s already matched his 2016 WAR in under two months, while dealing with some nagging injuries), Yovani Gallardo is just the God damned worst.

As has been beaten into the ground, the Mariners are struggling with injuries.  Per my opening sentence:  the chips are fucking DOWN!  A bunch of guys on this team are TRYING to keep things in check until some of our injured guys return, and hats off to them.  But, here you’ve got an 11-year veteran starting pitcher who is the only man standing from this organization’s intended starting rotation coming into the season, and sure, he’s lost a bit of his skills over that long career.  But, I dunno, it seems like he should be doing more.  It seems like a guy who has kicked around the Majors for this long would have enough tricks up his sleeve to step up when things are at their worst.  I mean, shit man, you’re easily the most veteran healthy pitcher on this roster right now!  The Mariners are a VERY young team, particularly on the pitching side, they’re looking to YOU to set the fucking example!

And the best you can give is a 5.76 ERA?  The best you can do last night is 5.1 innings of 3-run ball, giving up 7 hits and a whopping 6 walks?!  That on the back of a 10-run outing the last time out, against the White Sox?  People shouldn’t have to fall all over themselves sucking your dick just because you occasionally get into the 7th inning, while still giving up 3 runs!  The Mariners are 3-7 in Gallardo’s starts this year, and that’s just pathetic.  If the Mariners weren’t so fucking decimated by injuries, Gallardo should’ve been DFA’d WEEKS ago!

Sure, you could make the argument that the Mariners’ offense hasn’t showed up in a lot of those defeats (a la last night’s shutout), but I’d counter that with the fact that Gallardo has consistently stunk early in games.  He has a 9.00 ERA in the first innings of his starts!  Over a quarter of all his runs allowed have come in the first!  27 of his 35 earned runs have come in the first four innings!  That’s not keeping your team in the game!  That’s digging them a huge hole they’ve got to dig their way out of against the bullpens of the league!

The fact of the matter is, the Mariners – right now – need more than what Gallardo is giving them.  He’s a worthless lump and I can’t wait until I never have to be subjected to one of his starts ever again.  If the offense is slumping, then guess what:  a GOOD pitcher steps up and helps his team!  He doesn’t consistently average 5 innings and 3 runs a game.  NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  He’s hurting this bullpen, he’s hurting the win/loss record of the team, and he’s demoralizing an offense that has to always score 6+ runs in his starts just to have a CHANCE to win.

Fuck Yovani Gallardo.

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