Seriously? An ATV Accident?

I see the Seattle Seahawks drafted a REAL Einstein in this Malik McDowell.

This is the kind of shit we’ll look back on in ten years and say, “Remember when we used our first draft pick back in 2017 to get that Malik McDonald guy who was a total bust and set us back all those years?”  And then you’ll say, “I think his name was Malik McDowell.”  And then I’ll say, “Really?  What did I say?”  And then you’ll say, “You said Malik McDonald.”  And then I’ll say, “Whatever, fuck that guy, am I right?”

I had one key to this year’s training camp and pre-season:  get the young guys as many reps as possible in hopes of getting them ready for the regular season.  WE CAN’T FUCK AROUND THIS YEAR!  2017 is VERY important!  Getting off to a slow start is NOT an option!  If we want to take advantage of this Championship Window we’re in, we need to get off to a hot start and roll our way into a #1 seed!  And to do that, we’re going to need EVERYONE!  Especially the younger guys!  To step up and be impact players on this team!

And then Malik McDowell thinks it would be a good idea to go romping around on his ATV and break his fucking face.  I mean, it takes a special kind of moron!  I’m sure there are more details to come (like, for instance, was this genius even wearing a fucking helmet?  Or, had he ever ridden one of these before?  Was this his big rookie purchase, because he’s a dum-dum who can’t just buy a car with airbags and seatbelts like a normal fucking star athlete?), but for right now all we know is that he’s at home recuperating.  The incident happened within the last two weeks.  He apparently suffered a concussion and “facial injuries” which could be anything from lacerations & contusions all the way up to a broken orbital bone.  His statement said he’d be joining the team shortly, but there are rumors out there saying he could miss the entire fucking season.  I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ, how stupid do you have to be???

In other news, Training Camp started yesterday, with the first pre-season game set to go live on Sunday, August 13th.  Russell Wilson came into camp in “the best shape of his life” thanks to a new training regimen, a new diet plan, and the same ol’ dedication to working out and improving his game.  The Seahawks traded Kevin Pierre-Louis to the Chiefs for another linebacker in D.J. Alexander, who made the Pro Bowl as a Special Teamer last year.  The Seahawks also brought back Marcel Reece and ex-Eagle Marcus Smith, who will compete for the SAM linebacker spot as well as defensive end.

No other major injury news came out yesterday.  Tyler Lockett is still on the PUP list, but it sounds like he should be ready to roll sooner or later.

I won’t be writing about the Seahawks every day, but I hope to check in from time to time, whenever there’s something to bitch about.  YAY FOOTBALL LET’S DO THIS THING!

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  1. Pingback: The Seahawks Keep Getting In Their Own Fucking Way | Seattle Sports Hell

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