Mariners Tank-A-Palooza 2017 In Full Effect

I’m proud of you, Mariners!  I really am!  Some teams might cling to some notion of honor in reaching a .500 record, as a moral victory of sorts.  But you know, and I know, that it’s all bullshit.  What matters, when your season is over, is the race to the bottom!  You grab that brass ring!  And that brass ring, in this case, is getting a Top 10 draft pick in next year’s draft.

The Mariners lost to the Rangers last night 4-2, to complete the 3-game sweep.  The losing streak has reached six games, and in between football freakouts, fans and media alike are bemoaning the fact that the M’s are falling so hard on their faces, but WHY?  You do realize that wins at this point don’t help you, right?  No one’s going to remember this team faltering at the end of the season when we take a step back and assess this season for what it was:  the Mariners just weren’t good enough.  Period.  They weren’t on par with the best teams in the American League:  the Astros, Indians, Red Sox, and Yankees; and in the end they couldn’t take advantage of the rest of the A.L. being mediocre enough to make that second Wild Card spot attainable.

So, lose away!  The Indians come to town – they of the legendary 22-game winning streak; they who’ve won 27 of their last 28 games – so how about another sweep?!  Let’s extend this losing streak to 9 games, then 12, then 15 AND THEN WE’RE GOING TO TAKE BACK THE WHITE HOUSE, BLRGYAAAH!!!

I almost didn’t think the Mariners had it in them last night.  I thought they MIGHT actually come from behind and win one.  Paxton got the start and got roughed up a little bit in the first inning, but he settled down, had more life on his fastball, and had better command than he did in his previous start.  A pitch count limit of around 75 pitches meant that he would only last 3.2 innings, but he only gave up the 2 runs, on 4 hits and 2 walks, with 4 strikeouts.

Luckily, the bullpen came in and played add-on; by which I mean they gave up another 2 runs to salt this one away.  Cole Hamels, for the Rangers, was dominant over 8 innings, giving up just the 1 run, and their closer gave up a meaningless solo homer in the ninth to wrap things up.  Cruz and Cano did all the damage with their solo bombs; it was the 35th of the season for Cruz, and 22nd for Cano (but also the 300th of his career, so it’s good to get that one out of the way so he can start fresh in 2018 without that hanging over his head).  Aside from a couple singles by Segura, the rest of the offense was shut down.

More importantly, the Orioles won and the Marlins and Athletics were idle.  We weren’t able to move from our draft position of tied for 14th, but now we only have 4.5 games between us and the A’s for that 10th draft pick.

I won’t get into it, but you should SEE the set of starting pitchers the Indians are bringing to town.  If the Mariners win any of these fucking games, I’m going to be VERY upset!

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