The End Of November Seattle Sports Hell Power Rankings

Just wondering, are any other fantasy football owners of Ezekiel Elliott now limping into the playoffs, soon to meet a staggering demise when they’d once looked like world-beaters?

I have him in two (10-team, 2-QB) leagues.  In one league, I drafted him in the middle of the fourth round.  That team is currently in first place; thankfully, I was able to maneuver my team and gather in enough reinforcements to keep things afloat.  If things continue, I see no reason why I shouldn’t compete for a championship (with Elliott returning in Week 16 to give me that final boost over the top).

In my other league, it’s not only a 10-team, 2-QB league, but it’s also a 3-Keeper league with 6 playoff spots (top 2 get BYEs in the first round).  Elliott was to be another team’s keeper, and with the 6-game suspension looming, I pounced on him before the draft, giving up Brandin Cooks in the process.  I figured I’d struggle in the early going, but go on a run towards the end of the season, maybe sneak into the playoffs and roar through to a championship.  That was the plan anyway.

And then the suspension kept getting kicked down the road, and I thought maybe I’d luck out and he’d avoid the suspension altogether!  Or, at the very least, either knock it down a few games, or delay it to the 2018 season.  Instead, the suspension kicked in at almost the worst possible time.

Three weeks ago, in this keeper league, I was in first place, looking like a strong candidate for one of the BYEs.  Three weeks later, I’m on a 3-game losing streak.  This week will be the last one before the playoffs; I could very well lose in the first round, before I even get a chance to put Elliott back into my lineup!

The real kick in the pants is that Dak Prescott has fallen apart; he’s one of my two quarterbacks (alongside Carson Wentz, who is looking like the best QB I’ve ever kept).  You’d think a GOOD quarterback would step up to the occasion; with Elliott down, he’d pick up the slack and keep the Cowboys’ offense moving.  Instead, he’s gotten me less than 1 point in the last two weeks, and is causing me to reconsider his candidacy as one of my three keepers for next year (the other option would be Leonard Fournette, whose first six weeks were Elliott-level outstanding, but whose last six weeks have been sucking my will to live).  I mean, if Dak can’t get it done because everything around him isn’t absolutely perfect (RB suspension, offensive line injuries), then how can he be counted upon for the long haul?

I’d hate to be a Dallas Cowboys fan right now, I’ll tell you that much.  Bring back Tony Romo indeed!

  • Philadelphia (10-1)
  • New England (9-2)
  • Minnesota (9-2)
  • Pittsburgh (9-2)
  • L.A. Rams (8-3)
  • New Orleans (8-3)
  • Carolina (8-3)
  • Atlanta (7-4)

A lot of good teams beat up on a lot of bad teams this past week.  The most impressive win was probably the Vikings over the Lions; they look like the real deal.  The Rams also took down the Saints, which gives them quite the boost.  I’ll be interested to see how the NFC South shakes out.

  • Jacksonville (7-4)
  • Seattle (7-4)
  • L.A. Chargers (5-6)
  • Detroit (6-5)
  • Tennessee (7-4)
  • Baltimore (6-5)
  • Buffalo (6-5)
  • Kansas City (6-5)

The Jags’ amazing defense is going to keep them in every game, which is good.  Their terrible offense is going to give them a chance to lose every game too.  They’re simultaneously the team no one wants to play in the playoffs as well as the team no one really fears all that much.  I think the Chargers are going to steamroll over the competition the rest of the way; look out for them in the Wild Card round.  And what the fuck happened to the Chiefs???

  • Washington (5-6)
  • Dallas (5-6)
  • Oakland (5-6)
  • Cincinnati (5-6)
  • Arizona (5-6)
  • Green Bay (5-6)
  • Tampa Bay (4-7)
  • N.Y. Jets (4-7)

All those 5-6 teams thought they were going to be considerably better heading into the season.  And yet, none of them are really eliminated!  I’d watch out for Oakland and Cincy, as I could see either of them snatching that 6-seed in the AFC.  The loser of the Dallas/Washington game this week is probably finished.  Also, good on the Packers for looking frisky against the Steelers (who notoriously play down to the level of their competition, but still).  If the Packers can steal a couple games before Aaron Rodgers gets back, I’d be concerned if I was the rest of the NFC.

  • Miami (4-7)
  • Houston (4-7)
  • Denver (3-8)
  • Indianapolis (3-8)
  • Chicago (3-8)
  • N.Y. Giants (2-9)
  • San Francisco (1-10)
  • Cleveland (0-11)

I give you:  the least fun teams to watch on TV and/or root for.

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