Seahawks Handle Inept Giants

I feel like we could say this every week, but I’m gonna say it again:  it should’ve been MUCH easier than that.

The Seahawks went into New Jersey and beat the Giants by a score of 24-7.  That sounds like a quality, sound win, right?  17 points easily covered the spread.  Pretty hard to complain about a 3-score victory.  And yet, here we are.

For starters, I should point out that I have no beef with the defense.  They were what we thought they were.  I said in my preview on Friday that the Giants had no business scoring more than 9 points in this game, and lo and behold look at what we got.  On top of that, the 7 they DID score came off of a fumble recovery; they had to go all of 17 yards to get their lone score.  Someone said something to this effect on Twitter yesterday:  the offense gave up 3 points and the defense only gave up 4 points.  That’s the appropriate way to look at this.  You could argue the Seahawks should’ve shut them out, which would’ve been the second consecutive time they shut out the Giants on the road (last time:  23-0 back in 2013).

Eli Manning was held to 134 yards, on 19/39.  The running game was held to 46 yards on 17 carries for a 2.7 average.  The Giants were 2/12 on third down and 0/1 on fourth down; not counting turnovers or end of half, the Giants were held to a 3 & Out on four possessions.  Really, the only guy who had a good day on offense was their tight end, Evan Engram, who caught 6 for 60 with a TD.  On the one hand, that’s kind of annoying that it was their tight end who had all the success, but he really was their ONLY weapon on offense (Sterling Shepard was a pre-game scratch).  Also, the Seahawks were shadowing him with Bradley McDougald most of the time, which overall was pretty successful.  I mean, Engram had 6 catches, but he was targeted 12 times.

The Giants couldn’t do a damn thing, bottom line.  And if the Seahawks’ offense didn’t repeatedly shoot themselves in the foot, they would’ve been buried early in this one.  This was the type of smothering defense we haven’t seen from the Seahawks in quite some time.  Harkening back to the good ol’ days of 2013!

But, holy hell, that offense.  I guess their solution to the running game woes was to repeatedly run the fly-sweep to Tyler Lockett for minimal gains.  It might’ve been effective had the Seahawks ever, I dunno, showed that look in the past.  Maybe faked it to him on occasion, to at least put that play on tape, so that when we finally hand it to him it’s actually surprising instead of totally telegraphed?  I dunno.  That was actually my only problem with the play calling, shockingly enough.  I mean, I don’t know what more you want from Darrell Bevell.  He’s calling runs, and either they’re getting stuffed, or Wilson is checking out of them.  He’s even isolating Jimmy Graham out wide near the goalline with more regularity!  It’s not his fault that Wilson can’t throw a fade for some reason, or that Graham fucking drops everything in sight.

I know he ended up redeeming himself, sort of, with 3 catches for 51 yards and a touchdown, but a lot of that (particularly the score) came when the game was decided.  When shit was on the line?  That’s when he couldn’t get out of his own way.  He dropped a perfect pass in the endzone (one of two goalline targets on that drive alone, so don’t tell me the Seahawks aren’t looking out for Jimmy Graham), then later dropped another perfect pass when he was wide open near the sideline with nothing but green ahead of him for at least 30 yards.  I’d like to say that this was just an anomaly, but he’s been dropping passes regularly all season.  Sure, things worked out this time, but as long as he’s healthy and wearing a Seahawks uniform, he’s going to command a certain percentage of the targets, and his fumble-fingers are going to cost us an important game.  I can see it now!  Don’t say I didn’t warn you, when we gag away a winnable game.

Then, of course, there’s our own running game struggles.  Sure, we eclipsed 100 yards, but it took 31 carries to do it, with 5 different runners (including Lockett and Wilson).  No one looked good.  Rawls had his usual burst, but he also, quite frankly, runs like an idiot.  He’s always going WAY too fast and lacks any semblance of patience.  On a screen pass, he had a nice 16-yard gain, but if he’d just allowed his blockers to run ahead of him and do their job, he could’ve gone for twice that amount!  And that’s aside from his usual slip & falls when he tries to hit the hole like a fucking Tasmanian Devil.  Just, you know, take half a beat, collect yourself, then explode through the hole!  You don’t have to go 100 miles per hour all the fucking time!  I mean, honestly, between that and his constant parade of nagging injuries, I’m more annoyed at that than I am his fumble which led to New York’s only score.  That’s just sort of a fluke, but the rest of it is who he is, and it’s fucking difficult to watch.

Unfortunately, Eddie Lacy was Eddie Lacy.  He is who he is, 11 carries for 34 yards.

Russell Wilson finished with probably his best game of the season (27/39, 334 yards, 3 TDs), but he also left a number of plays on the field.  As I noted before, he over-threw Graham on a goalline fade (when he really should’ve just lazered it in there, as Graham had his defender walled off; but then again, he probably just would’ve dropped it like he did the next throw his way, so whatever).  He had Doug Baldwin wide open for a long bomb and over-threw him by about 10 yards.  And, I want to say he had something similar going to Lockett where he over-threw him.  Again, all of these mistakes prevented the Seahawks from really pouring it on.  I mean, 50 points wasn’t out of the question yesterday, had things gone according to plan.

But, the offense as a whole looks a lot better than it did early in the season.  The Seahawks generated 425 yards.  They converted 6/13 on third down (0/1 on fourth).  They held the ball for over 35 minutes.  The offensive line pass protected pretty well (I want to say the sack was on Wilson for holding the ball too long and not stepping up into the pocket; ditto the intentional grounding), though they could still be better in their run blocking (I’m hearing good things about Pocic, who got a lot of play at left guard, though he was out-snapped by Glowinski 48-34).

Doug Baldwin had an epic game (9 catches for 92 yards and a TD).  Paul Richardson had a couple big catches (2 for 61 and a TD).  Beyond that, Wilson did a good job spreading the ball around.

Again, as I say seemingly every week, all that matters is the W.  The Seahawks are 4-2, a half game behind the Rams (who will be on a BYE this week), and are still in a good position for the playoffs and possibly competing for a top seed.

What I will say is, they can’t keep playing like this on offense.  They need to cash in on their scoring opportunities.  It’s one thing to dominate the likes of the Giants and Colts, but aside from a close win over the Rams, who have they beaten?  They lost to the Packers, and they lost to the Titans (which looks more grotesque with each passing week, as the Titans’ offense continues to struggle against the rest of the league).  Yes, I want the Seahawks to win against everyone, but I don’t give a shit about these games they’re SUPPOSED to win.  The whole point is to win a championship, which means the Seahawks need to start showing up against teams destined to make the post-season!

I’ll be very interested in how they look at home next Sunday against the Texans.  Deshaun Watson looks like the real deal, he’s got tons of weapons on offense, and even though they’ve been hit by the injury bug on defense, they still have enough talent left over to make our lives miserable.  Win THAT game by 17 points and I’ll be impressed.

Also, not for nothing, but the delicate ecosystem that is the Seahawks’ defense sure as shit needs to stay healthy if this team is going to go anywhere.  Thankfully, they look back to their elite form, just in time.

The Seahawks Play The Giants This Weekend

Before the season, this game looked a little scary.  The Giants were pegged to contend for the NFC East, Eli Manning had a bunch of cool weapons on offense to throw to, and a defense that looked remarkable in 2016 had a year’s worth of experience and an off-season of moves to better itself.  Then, the Giants started out 0-5, and all of a sudden this game looked like one of the easier matchups on the Seahawks’ schedule.  THEN, the Giants went into Denver as something like 13-point underdogs last Sunday night and somehow managed to not just win, but DOMINATE the Broncos 23-10.

And now this game is scary again?

I’ll admit, I didn’t watch a lick of that Giants/Broncos game.  Like most everyone in America, I expected the Broncos to win easily.  I don’t know if I necessarily expected a blowout, or even a cover of the point spread, but I did think we’d be in for a boring, grind-it-out game where the Broncos would win comfortably by 7-10 points or so (with still a reasonable chance of it being a blowout victory).  It feels impressive that the Giants were able to run for 148 yards and a 4.6 yards per carry average against a quality defense like the Broncos.  It feels even more impressive that the Giants were able to win at all, considering Odell Beckham Jr. and Brandon Marshall were out and are officially lost for the season, but, you know, last week was a crazy fucking week.  A lot of underdogs won outright.  Hell, this SEASON has been fucking crazy with the underdogs; it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before!

But, I digress.  The question remains:  are the Giants good or not?  Obviously, with 5 losses in their first 6 weeks, and all their injury issues at wide receiver, it feels impossible for them to make the playoffs.  I’m sure they’ll give it the good ol’ college try, but I can’t see them finishing any worse than 8-2 over the next 10 games and still making the post-season.  With the Eagles at 5-1, that probably puts the division out of reach, so they’d have to hope for a Wild Card berth at 9-7 in that scenario, which isn’t impossible, but again, I don’t know if I see 8 more wins on their schedule.

The Giants lost on the road to the Cowboys and Eagles, which feels reasonable.  Those are a couple of good teams.  They lost at home to the Lions, which isn’t out of the question, as you’re talking about a playoff team from a year ago (largely the same as they were), and a team looking to compete for the NFC North.  But, then you tack on a road loss to the Bucs (who look bad) and a home loss to the Chargers (who look worse) and I gotta tell you:  I think the Giants are NOT good.

In which case, this should be a win for the Seahawks, right?  I’m not saying it’ll be easy.  They’ve still got a quality defensive line that should give us fits (as they all do).  But, I mean, where are they getting their points from this Sunday?  Their best and healthiest offensive weapon is rookie tight end Evan Engram, who legitimately looks like he could be one of the better players at his position.  Second year wideout Sterling Shepard should be returning from an ankle injury, so there’s another.  But, I mean, come on.  I know we like to joke around about the Seahawks’ defense sucking against tight ends, but we’ve actually been vastly improved this year!  It looks like Kam Chancellor has taken more of an active role in guarding them one-on-one, and he’s shutting them down pretty good.  Instead of being the worst in the league, the Seahawks are right in the middle of the road, which is fine.  That sort of improvement is something you can take to the bank.  Engram will get his looks, but I hardly think he’ll be a dominant force like we’ve seen from other tight ends in years past.

As for Shepard, he looks okay, but he hasn’t made that leap to elite status (not with ODB hogging all the glory to date), and it’s questionable that he ever will.  He looks fine.  If Richard Sherman were to follow him all over the field, I have no question whatsoever that he’d be locked down, but something tells me that’s not the gameplan.  But, either way, Shaq Griffin has looked better and better every week, and I think he’d be fine against Shepard.

Which leaves their running game.  I know the Seahawks have gotten gashed this season, but that was by the likes of DeMarco Murray, Derrick Henry, and Carlos Hyde.  Those are some of the most talented and productive running backs in the league this season!  That having been said, this defense used to eat even the very best running backs for breakfast, so getting gashed at all is of great concern.  But, Orleans Darkwa?  Wayne Gallman?  Shane Vereen?  I’m supposed to be quaking in my boots over this triad of suck?

Even when the Giants had all the receivers in the world, they weren’t able to run the ball effectively.  It’s only last week – when they had no one to throw to – where they put all their effort into the running game (and Denver mysteriously didn’t load up to stop it).  That one will puzzle me to my last breath, but I guess you could say that since the Giants over the last 2-3 years haven’t put any sort of running game whatsoever on tape, the Broncos just weren’t expecting it and had no evidence on how it could theoretically be stopped?

Well, it’s a good thing the Seahawks were on BYE last week, because they had nothing else going on last Sunday and were able to watch every minute of that game.

It’s also good, because I think you’re going to see incremental improvement in the Seahawks’ run defense over the next few weeks.  There’s been a lot of turnover on the D-Line.  Tony McDaniel is gone.  Ahtyba Rubin is gone.  Those guys were instrumental in stuffing the run the last couple seasons.  Jarran Reed is getting more playing time.  Naz Jones is a rookie.  And Sheldon Richardson is new to our system.  As they get more experience in practice and games, with gap assignments and whatnot, I expect this unit to gel and return to its run-stopping roots.

So, I mean, if we stop the Giants’ running game, what do they have left?  Eli Manning?  Please.  He should be lunch meat, with or without Cliff Avril.

Speaking of which, that’s a really sad case right there.  Avril was knocked out of the Indianapolis game a few weeks back with a neck/spine issue (he was seen, right after the hit, shaking his arm as if he’d lost all feeling, which is pretty terrifying for him).  Ever since, he’s apparently been seen by every doctor on the planet, and it’s looking more and more like he’s headed for surgery and the Injured Reserve.  At which point, he’d be eligible to return in mid-to-late December.  But, given the nature of the injury, and the uncertainty around the surgical procedure, it’s possible he misses the rest of the year entirely.

It’s also possible he’s played his final game in the NFL, which is the biggest bummer of all.

It’s a serious blow to this defense, but not one that’s impossible to overcome.  It means stripping away some of our depth at a position of strength, which is always a bad thing.  It also means more of a role for Frank Clark.  It remains to be seen how that will change things.  Will more Frank Clark allow him an opportunity to step up and become a star in this league?  If so, that’s fantastic.  But, does a little Frank Clark go a long way, and will we see a decline in his production on a per-snap average due to overuse?

Avril is a stalwart.  He’s a pro.  You can always count on him.  He’s also still right there in the prime of his career, as pass-rushing defensive ends tend to age pretty well in this league compared to other positions.  Clark is still young, still learning, still growing.  I don’t believe he’s yet reached his full potential.  Here’s to hoping this accelerates his development and he becomes one of the greats in this league by season’s end.

As for the Seahawks’ offense, your guess is as good as mine.  That second half against the Colts feels more and more like an anomaly against a really bad team.  Say what you want about the Giants as a whole, but that defense isn’t bad.  I think they’re every bit as capable of making our lives miserable as the Rams, 49ers, and Packers.  In which case, I guess we’re in for another slow Russell Wilson start, another shitty performance by the running game, with the only signs of life coming in the final two minutes of each half.

Can we win this one 14-9?  With that Giants offense, I’d be furious if they reached double digits in points, so I’ll go out on a limb and say yes.  But, while a 14-9 victory is still a victory, and you’ll take them however you can get them, it’s still not something that inspires hope.

A good Seahawks team would come out and blow the doors off, winning 44-3 or some damn thing.  But, I can’t imagine a scenario where we don’t get more of the same.  For the same fucking reasons.

Only now, we’re down our second-best offensive lineman in Luke Joeckel (who used his BYE week to have a cleanup surgery on his knee, and will be out for a month or so).  In his place, we’re looking at a combo of Mark Glowinski (the starter at LG last season) and rookie Ethan Pocic (whose natural position is center, and who doesn’t really have much college experience on the left side of the line).  For the record, I expect Glowinski to get the start and the lion’s share of the snaps.  I also expect him to struggle, and within a week or two I expect Pocic to take over that job until Joeckel returns.  Hopefully I’m proven wrong.  Hopefully Glowinski takes his recent demotion from the RG spot to heart and returns like a rabid pitbull.  But, I just don’t think he has the talent to be a starter in this league.  Doesn’t mean he can’t have a long and pointless career as a backup (or move on to another team in the future and have great success, because he’s just not cut out for Tom Cable’s zone blocking scheme).

At running back, I think we’re all hoping for Thomas Rawls to take the bull by the horns, but I wouldn’t be shocked to see a steady stream of handoffs to Eddie Lacy.  For what it’s worth, I still like Lacy and I think he fits this offense pretty well.  I think he’s a volume-dependant running back though, and I just don’t know if this offense, with this O-Line, has what it takes to give him the volume of carries he needs to succeed.

Here’s to hoping Russell Wilson gets some time to throw, though, because I think some serious gains can be had in the passing game.  The Giants are TERRIBLE against opposing tight ends, so you’d think Jimmy Graham would have a field day.  And, if they sell out to stop him, then it should open up opportunities for Baldwin, Richardson, and Lockett.  Again, though, Russell needs time to throw.  We’ll see.

All these games are important, but this one really feels big.  The Giants are still banged up, we’re coming off of a BYE, yeah it’s on the road across the country, but it’s a late afternoon game and we’ve had a lot of success playing in this stadium.  It’s also a conference game, which becomes vitally important for playoff seeding.  And, not for nothing, but the Rams went on the road and beat the Jags last week, regaining sole possession of first place in the NFC West.  They play Arizona in London this Sunday and could very well be 5-2 when the weekend is over.  We need to win just to keep pace with the Rams!  Who could’ve ever predicted saying that sentence before the season started?

The Seahawks Won While I Was In Hawaii

While I was by no means cut off from the outside world during my week in Hawaii, my GiveAFuck levels were pretty depleted as far as maintaining this blog is concerned.  And, as I return to normality this upcoming Monday, with various BYE weeks happening, and what I’m anticipating to be a fuckload of work waiting for me at the office, posting might be a little light this month.  I hope to settle into more of a regular writing routine for November and beyond, but for now the quality might be a little ragged.

Shockingly, the Rams/Seahawks game wasn’t televised in Hawaii when I was there.  Since they don’t have a team, they generally get slotted with whatever the national audience gets, and FOX saw fit to go with Packers/Cowboys (I can’t imagine why).  Even though Rams/Seahawks was televised on CBS, the Hawaii affiliate opted to televise infomercials instead of trying to compete against the juggernaut that would be Aaron Rodgers vs. America’s Team.  I mean, what was this, WWII France???

Anyway, I could’ve gotten dropped off at a sports bar, but this was Rams/Seahawks, not the moon landing.  It’s the Athletics/Mariners of football games; we’ve seen it a million times and it’s never satisfying.  I could live with myself not seeing this game.

And, as it turned out, I really didn’t miss much.  The Seahawks threw two picks (one by Tanner McEvoy on a botched gadget play), Jared Goff threw two more, and the Rams tacked on three more fumbles to give the game away.  The Seahawks couldn’t run for shit, Russell Wilson did NOT play one of his better games, and in the end it came down to a few key factors.

For one, Blair Walsh made all three of his field goals (35, 48, & 49), while Greg Zuerlein missed 1 of 2.  Had he been perfect, the Rams likely would’ve been down only 3 points instead of 6 in that final drive (though it’s impossible to know for certain how the rest of the game would’ve changed had he made that miss), which means they could’ve easily forced overtime.  And the other factor is that Cooper Kupp drop in the endzone that would’ve put them in position to win the game in heartbreaking fashion.  Yes, Goff rushed the throw, possibly due to our pass rush, but that was still a catchable ball, and one that Kupp gave away.

Of course, it’s not all his fault.  Earl Thomas had that Hall of Fame play, punching the ball out of Gurley’s hand before he got into the endzone, forcing a touchback as the ball hit the pylon.  I still think it’s a miracle that the refs overturned what was originally ruled a touchdown, as they seem to give every opportunity to at least have the call “stand”.  Earl also had a late INT on a poorly thrown ball to seemingly put the game away, before our inept offense gave it right back to the Rams.  Granted, Sheldon Richardson was in the right place at the right time for a fumble recovery that led to the field goal that gave us a 6-point lead, but had we gotten just a couple first downs at any point late in the game, it would’ve ended it for good right then and there.

All that matters is we got the win.  We’re 3-2, as are the Rams, but we hold the tiebreaker over them for now.  We’re 2-0 in the division, we’re on a BYE this week, then we go to New York to face the hapless Giants.  Let’s just sit and enjoy it for a while.

The Seahawks Beat A Bad Colts Team At Home In Primetime

I’m not gonna lie to you, I couldn’t make it past halftime of this game.  Maybe if I had some incentive; maybe if the Colts and Seahawks were both good this year.  Maybe if the Seahawks showed me ANYTHING in the way of competence through the first three and a half weeks of the season.  But, I saw that first half (where the Colts went in leading 15-10, with the last taste in my mouth being a missed field goal from a very make-able distance – 37 yards – out of Blair Walsh), I saw my impending Monday morning workday coming (where I’d have to wake up at the crack of 4am), and I made a business decision.  I decided this game wasn’t worth my being exhausted the following day.  And I’m pretty sure that’s the only time that’s ever happened with me and a Seahawks game; that’s something I do ROUTINELY with the Mariners though!

Oh yeah, that’s right, I’m equating the Seahawks with the Mariners.  That’s how bad this season has been.

I mean, there was no upside to staying up and watching that second half.  Either I sit there, miserable, as the Seahawks continue to suck dick against a terrible Colts team; or they scratch and claw to a meager victory; or they do what they did last night, which is outscore the Colts 36-3 (which, not for nothing, is something they should’ve done from the opening fucking kickoff).  Any way you slice it, I would’ve been too keyed up to go right to bed afterward, and I’d be sitting here on 5-6 hours of sleep.  Fuck that; I have DVR.  I’ll watch the second half tonight!

Russell Wilson had a pretty good game.  He was 21/26 passing, though two of those misses went for interceptions.  He threw 2 TDs and ran for a third.  He apparently looked MUCH better in the second half, though he did look sharper in the first half than we’ve seen from him in recent weeks.

I’ll say this, last night’s game was not without consequences.  Jeremy Lane strained a groin on the opening series of the game.  Cliff Avril has a neck injury that will keep him out for an indeterminate amount of time (the fact that he was shaking his hands, as if he had no feeling in them, is certainly a frightening sight).  Rees Odhiambo was taken to the hopsital with a chest injury, as he was having trouble breathing after the game after a hard hit.  Frank Clark missed a few snaps; Naz Jones missed a few snaps.  And, of course, Chris Carson was carted off the field with an ankle injury that could be minor, or could keep him out for a month or more.  Just what we needed in a running back room that already features C.J. Prosise (who missed this game with injury) and Thomas Rawls (who was apparently a healthy scratch and probably watched this game smothered in bubble wrap).  So, that’s neat.

At least the team around them stepped up.  Eddie Lacy got his first significant work of the season, running the ball 11 times for 52 yards.  J.D. McKissic ran the ball 4 times for 38 yards and a TD, as well as caught a 27-yard TD pass to close out the game.  That makes me VERY happy, as I’m tired of seeing Prosise’s name in the news for all these injuries.  If McKissic can keep that up, we can cut or trade Prosise after the season and move on with our lives!

Marcus Smith apparently had a whale of a game!  He had 1.5 sacks, 1.5 tackles for loss, and 2 QB hits, all in place of Avril.  We got him in a minor deal with the Eagles before the season, and that could be HUGE if Avril has to miss a lot of time.  Then, there was the Pick-Six by Justin Coleman, who took over the nickel role from Lane after he went down.  It was a nifty jumping of an out-route that he had no trouble taking back to the house.  He had another pass breakup in there for good measure.

I thought Shaq Griffin looked pretty good, though he got beat on that touchdown in the second quarter.  It wasn’t the worst coverage I’ve ever seen, but there’s a better way to play that ball and he looks like he’ll get the hang of it before too long.  He definitely looks better than some of the guys we’ve had over there opposite Richard Sherman, and that’s okay in my book.

Bobby Wagner also had a game, with 6 tackles, 0.5 sacks, 0.5 tackles for loss, and a fumble return for a touchdown.

All in all, not too shabby, but again, the Colts are terrible.  Don’t think all of our problems are fixed.  This might as well have been a pre-season game.

The real test comes next week in L.A., against the Rams, who are apparently legit now that they went on the road and out-scored the Cowboys 35-30.  Jared Goff looks like he’s for real, they finally have a competent receiving corps, Todd Gurley looks rejuvenated, and their offensive line is no longer a total liability.  Tack onto that they have the same defense that always fucking destroys us, with Wade Phillips of all people now pulling the strings, and this one has the makings of an ugly blowout.

The Rams are 3-1; the Seahawks are 2-2.  Lose next week, and the Rams are 4-1 and running away with the division, while the Seahawks are 2-3 and trying to cling for dear life to a meaningless Wild Card spot.

God I hate professional football.

The Seahawks Were A Hot Mess In Hot, Humid Tennessee

Just when you think the Seahawks are getting to be boring or predictable to write about (what’s that, another slow start spoiling an otherwise winnable game?), they go and zag when you expect them to zig.

Well, you may have expected this game to be a zig, but I saw this zag coming a mile away!

Everyone’s all surprised about Tennessee’s offense really sticking it to our defense, but this was always going to be a terrible matchup for the Seahawks.  They have a GREAT offensive line, so that right there neutralizes one of our team’s best assets:  the D-Line.  The pass rush was neutralized (I read somewhere that the Seahawks were only credited with 2 pressures all day), and more importantly, our rush defense was non-existent.  Remember in 2014, when we hosted the Cowboys and they ran the ball all over us (with DeMarco Murray at the helm, btw)?  Yeah, that times a thousand.  195 total yards rushing, on a 5.6 yards per carry average, with a long of 75!  DeMarco Murray was supposed to only play sparingly because he was dealing with an injury, and he looked like fucking Superman out there!

So yeah, there was that.  Then, factor in Marcus Mariota:  he’s not going to push the ball down the field.  He’s going to take what the defense gives him, make smart decisions, and keep moving the chains.  Then, when he gets into the red zone, he’s going to make enough plays to ensure his team scores.  While they didn’t hit on every red zone appearance, they didn’t need to.  From the second quarter on, they scored on 7 of 8 drives.  When you move the ball that well, you don’t NEED to score touchdowns every time to be effective and win the game!  But, more importantly, by not challenging the Seahawks deep through the air, that neutralizes another of our team’s best assets:  the secondary.

With the D-Line and the secondary reduced to nothing, it should surprise no one that the Titans were able to score at will.

I think the Seahawks opened some eyes on offense though.  No one should be crowing, or otherwise satisfied with what the offense was able to do; we’ve seen this movie too!  The Seahawks start slow on the road, get down big, and scramble to make a furious comeback.  In this case, the Seahawks actually managed to grab a 7-6 lead late in the second quarter, after punting on their first six drives.  A Prevent Defense prevented the Seahawks from going into halftime with the lead, as the Titans were able to kick another field goal to go up 9-7.  Then, the Seahawks took the opening drive of the second half down for a TD, and a 14-9 lead, and I think everyone sort of settled in, secure that the Seahawks would FINALLY take over the ballgame.

That’s when the Titans went on their run, making the score 30-14 going into the fourth quarter.  As they do, the Seahawks turned the engines back on, pulling to within 30-20.  They failed at their 2-point conversion (because if you think they’re bad in the red zone, you should SEE how wretched they are at going for 2), but still had plenty of time for a couple more scores.

Where they really lost the game was on the subsequent Titans drive.  Tennessee held the ball for 4 minutes and drove down for a field goal to make it 33-20 with about 10 minutes to go.  At that point, not only would the Seahawks need two touchdowns, but they’d somehow need to get a STOP, which seemed like the least likely of the two scenarios.

Of course, the Seahawks did neither, as they were forced to punt on their next drive.  Sure, the D finally rose up for a 3 & Out, but at that point so much time had run off the clock that the Seahawks would need two TDs in just over 5 minutes.  They would get one, but the on-side kick was as pathetic as everything else about the Seahawks that day, and that was that.

Russell Wilson threw for 373 yards and 4 TDs, which is awesome for a fantasy football team, but it’s honestly not going to win the Seattle Seahawks very many ballgames.  If he has to throw the ball 49 times, then guess what?  That means our defense stinks.  And, for as good as that day looks, there were still plenty of missed opportunities that he wasn’t able to take advantage of.  This offense isn’t good enough to carry a crappy defense, so I hate everything about this stat line.

I really want to call out Darrell Bevell here, because yeah I know he’s the easy mark, and I know it’s like beating a dead horse, but he’s a fucking moron.  The Seahawks ran the ball on the first play of the game for no gain, then passed twice before it turned into a 3 & Out.  Next Drive:  3 passes, and another 3 & Out.  Next Drive:  we get a first down on first down through the air, then Carson runs twice for 11 yards to get the ball into Tennessee territory, then … 3 incomplete passes and a punt.  Next Drive:  he returns to the run game which nets 9 yards, but fails on 3rd & 1.  Nice idea, but poor execution.  Next Drive:  3 more incomplete passes for the 3 & Out.

I mean, look, it was a hot day.  90+ degrees in Tennessee.  I know this team’s “identity” or whatever isn’t to speed up the offense, but you could’ve fooled me.  What are all these incomplete passes if not speeding up the time between when the defense is out there on the field.  And, with all their nonsense early in the game – highlighted by Richard Sherman’s meltdown, followed by his late hit out of bounds on the quarterback – I have no doubt in my mind it tired them out, rendering them useless in the second half.

Also, not for nothing, but I have absolutely no problem with how you want to protest for your causes.  Stand for the anthem, sit for the anthem, pull the flag out and take a shit on it on midfield in front of tens of thousands of people; WHATEVER.  But, when I read about how the team is spending 3+ hours on how they’re going to protest the anthem the next day … I dunno, that seems like time that could be spent on preparing for the other team!

Again, I’m all for you standing up for what you believe in, but if it’s going to continuously interfere with your performance on the field, then I gotta say:  why should I care about the causes of a bunch of losers?  You know where you’ll have the biggest impact to pass along your message?  At the FUCKING Super Bowl, so how about you start playing like you give a shit about this fucking game, or go hang out on the fucking sidelines while we find some guys who want to win.

I follow sports because I like watching sports.  While I agree with your right to protest – and while I agree that people of color are treated pretty shitty in this country – I only actually give a shit about football when I’m watching football.  If I want an endless parade of politics, I’ll go on Twitter and blow my fucking brains out, thanks.

My Happy Fucking Seahawks/49ers Review

I told you I’d shoot, but you didn’t believe me.  Why didn’t you believe me …

I’m gonna breeze through this, because there really wasn’t a lot to like about yesterday’s game.  First and foremost, yes, it’s a win.  A win isn’t a loss (or a God damn tie for that matter).  The Seahawks are now 1-1 and in a 3-way tie for first in the NFC West.  More importantly, the Seahawks are 1-0 in the division.  MOST importantly, the rest of that division is who we thought they were.

Arizona got ripped on the road in week one to the Lions, then BARELY beat the Colts in overtime yesterday.  Of course, through two weeks they’re 1-1, with both games on the road; 8 of their remaining 14 games are at home.  But, any way you slice it, it’s not an easy schedule for the Cards, who at best look like an 8-8 team.

The Rams looked like world-beaters in week one against the Colts, but the Colts (without Andrew Luck) are one of the three worst teams in the NFL with the Jets and probably the Browns.  Even WITH Andrew Luck, they’re probably still one of the 5-6 worst teams in the NFL, but that’s neither here nor there.  The Redskins came into Los Angeles and came away with a 7-point victory yesterday, which should start to quiet those calls for the Rams winning the division.  Even worse for the Rams, both of their first two games were at home, and their schedule doesn’t look remarkably easier than Arizona’s.

But, let’s dig into this one.  The key to this game was simply the 49ers being terrible.  They’ll most likely land another Top 5 pick in next year’s draft and we’ll get to see their group nab a bunch more great college players.  But, make no mistake, the Seahawks wouldn’t have won this game if anyone better than Brian Hoyer was at the helm.

I’d like to start with some of the cool things the Seahawks did on offense, but it would be criminal to not kick it off with the D.  The 49ers were held to only 11 first downs, on 2 of 12 third down conversions.  They ran just 48 plays, compared to our 79; and were held to only 248 yards, most of that on the ground.  Hoyer was a dreadful 15/27 for 99 yards passing, a 3.7 yard per attempt average, with an interception to Bobby Wagner.

I thought Earl was all over the place, both in the backfield and around the line of scrimmage.  I thought Lane showed up really well on his side of the field, greatly overshadowing Shaq Griffin, whose only contribution I noted was a horrendous block in the back penalty on special teams.  I thought Richard Sherman was a warrior, playing on an injury that would keep most other cornerbacks out of the lineup.  And, aside from some breakdowns against the run, I thought the D-Line looked great in pass rush.  Michael Bennett particularly had a great game, as did Sheldon Richardson (whose contributions, again, won’t always show up on the stat sheet).  Time and time again, this defense carries this team, and yesterday was absolutely no exception.

Most importantly, I thought this defense harkened back to 2013, like we all expected it to last week.  Obviously, a defense is going to be more successful at home, when the crowd is deafening and opposing offenses can’t check out of bad plays as much, but the last couple years this Seahawks defense hasn’t looked as elite at home.  Teams have come in here and moved the ball pretty good.  I won’t say “at will”, but they’ve been able to move the ball WAY more than they could in 2012-2014.  Even suspect offenses.  But, not yesterday.  There was no way the 49ers were going to win that game, and it had everything to do with the defense.  Part of me can’t wait for when a great offense comes in here and struggles (but the other part of me remembers what this Seahawks offense has been able to do, and I get less and less excited).

Offensively, it was the Chris Carson show.  93 yards on 20 carries, he led the way.  Most importantly, when the game was on the line in the fourth quarter, Carson picked up the load.  On the final two drives (the TD drive to take the lead, and the clock-killing drive to end the game), Carson ran for 58 yards on 7 carries, including five straight runs on that final drive to bring the game to kneel downs.  I’ve said all along that I think he’s destined to be our starting running back heading into 2018, and this only leads me to believe that it’ll happen sooner than I thought.

Very interesting, particularly on a day where Eddie Lacy was left inactive, and on a day where Thomas Rawls came back from injury and looked pretty feeble, netting 4 yards on 5 carries.  With Prosise as a clear-cut third down/2-minute back, there’s a wide open lane for Chris Carson to run through to grab hold of the starting job.  He just needs to hit it and blow past the competition.

This game also saw the return of Russell Wilson:  Run Machine.  His 12 carries were the most he’s had in a single game since the 14 he had back in 2014 against the Giants.  34 yards doesn’t sound like anything special, but a number of those runs went for first downs, including two on the touchdown drive alone!  There were definite spots where he could’ve just handed the ball off on the zone read and didn’t, and I like that a whole bunch.  The 49ers weren’t sound defensively on their quarterback contain and Wilson made them pay.  That’s going to be big as this offense continues to try to find consistency.

Finally, that throw.  The offense has been much maligned – and rightfully so – for going seven quarters without a touchdown.  It seems to seize up inside the 10 yard line and find ways to settle for field goals instead of punching the ball over the goalline.  When all appeared lost, down 9-6, on 3rd down from the 9 yard line, the pocket collapsed around him and it looked like we’d be settling for a tie.  It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve seen some of that good ol’ Russell Wilson magic, but it reappeared yesterday.  He ducked under two defenders – who somehow managed to run past our O-Line, only to run into one another – scrambled up into the pocket and threw a laser to Paul Richardson at the side of the endzone for the go-ahead score.  Everything about that was ESSENTIAL to how this team won football games in 2012-2014.

Also, shoutout to P-Rich for catching the game winning TD with a broken/dislocated finger.  STUD!

I’ll leave it at that, because I want to believe things are headed on the right track, but I just can’t figure out a way this team succeeds next week in Tennessee.  I’m just glad we got the first win of the season and we can all quickly move on.

My Angry Fucking Seahawks/49ers Review

There’s a lot to dig into with this game, so I’m gonna split it up into two posts.  Look for My Happy Fucking Seahawks/49ers Review a little later.  Spoiler Alert:  it should be a lot shorter than this one.

The Seahawks played like dogshit yesterday.  There’s no other way to describe it.  Even when the offense was going good, there’d be a drop, or a breakdown in protection, or a lack of pocket awareness by Russell Wilson, or a baffling string of play calls, and all that good would be derailed.  And yeah, the defense held Brian Hoyer to 99 yards passing, but they gave up a whopping 124 yards rushing to Carlos Hyde, on only 15 carries!  On the day, the 49ers rushed for an average of 8.4 yards per carry!  If you put even a SEMI-competent quarterback on that team, the Seahawks would’ve lost handily.

Let me repeat that:  the Seahawks – AT HOME – nearly lost to the 49ers, a team coming off of a 2-14 season, with a new coaching staff, a rookie GM straight out of the broadcast booth, and a backup quarterback masquerading as a starting quarterback until they can draft somebody better in 2018.  Now, granted, I like Kyle Shanahan a lot.  I think he completely transformed the Falcons into a dominant force last season, and I think he’s got a lot of great things in store as a head coach.  I also like what they were able to do with their draft this year, and could see John Lynch really working out if they can manage to find their quarterback of the future (either via the draft, or via signing Kirk Cousins to a megadeal).  But, come on!  At this point, the 49ers shouldn’t pose a threat!  They CERTAINLY shouldn’t find themselves ahead 9-6 in the fourth quarter in the driving rain of Seattle, Washington!

Look, there was never a point where I was looking forward to this game last week.  It’s almost one of those proverbial “no-win” situations.  If you kill the 49ers, then great, you’ve killed the 49ers and it’s a boring game.  If you LOSE to the 49ers, then that’s it, the season’s over and we can all kill ourselves.  But … this?  Scratching and clawing to a 12-9 victory at home?  That’s almost as bad as a loss.  Now, obviously, it’s not worse.  A win is still a win and they all count the same, regardless of how pretty they are, but with the win everyone gets to gloss over the fact that the Seahawks looked terrible and in no way look like a viable playoff team going forward.

You know what I thought of when I was watching this team?  The Houston Texans.  The Texans are notorious for their 9-10 win seasons where – by virtue of the terrible division they reside in – they frequently make the playoffs as a 4-seed, before getting bounced in the first round whenever they don’t play the Bengals.  Yeah, it’s cool having an awesome defense, and it’s cool to call yourselves “Division Winners”, but how cool is it to lose every time you play a quality team?

And that’s the bottom line here.  The last two years, against the Best of the Best, the Seahawks have a record of 4-7.  When you go back to our two Super Bowl years, sure the Seahawks would drop a clunker every now and then, but they also seemed to get up for the big ones!  If they’re going to spend all their time just beating up on the bad teams and losing the games that really matter, they might as well call themselves the Mariners and get it over with!

But, if they keep playing offense the way they have through two weeks, I don’t think “beating up on the bad teams” is even on the table.

I’m going to start with Jimmy Graham, because this guy is the fucking worst.  Oh yes, I’ve found my new whipping boy!

Look, we all knew Graham was soft.  He was a big puffy cloud of cotton candy in New Orleans, and he didn’t suddenly get hard because he joined the Seahawks.  We KNEW this!  We knew this when we played against him:  if you hit Jimmy Graham in the mouth, he will become a non-factor for the rest of the game.  I don’t mean that literally, of course, but if I had all the time in the world, I’d love to do a deep dive into his career and watch all of his video.  What are his numbers when he takes a huge hit in the first quarter of a game?  Because it seems just from watching him that he shrivels up like a dick in the Arctic Ocean.  Gutless.  Weak.  A punk.  And probably worst of all:  a frontrunner.  When things come easy to him, when defenses play off-coverage, when he’s able to nab a few balls and get into the flow of the offense, Jimmy Graham will pile on the catches and yards and really look like a dominant force.  But, when the chips are down and you need a big catch in the fourth quarter of a game, where is he?  Nowhere to be fucking found.

And I’m not buying this argument that the Seahawks don’t use him right.  Fuck that.  If you’re a tight end, you have to do ALL the things tight ends do.  If you want to be a wide receiver, then tell your team that ahead of time.  But, I’ll tell you what, I don’t know a lot of teams that want a slow wide receiver on the outside with bad hands.  Sure, it’s fine when you throw fades to him in the red zone, when he can contort his body and only has to contend with one defender.  But, that’s not realistic.  He NEEDS to be able to make catches in the middle, in traffic, absorb the hits, and most importantly COME DOWN WITH THE FUCKING FOOTBALL!

The Seahawks use him just fine.  They throw to him probably MORE than he deserves.  And what has HE done to deserve the benefit of the doubt?  There’s got to be a give and take here.  Quite frankly, I no longer think it’s a coincidence that this team looked VASTLY improved in the second half of 2015 when he was OUT of the lineup.  You know what, throw all your bullshit stats at me; I’ll throw “Scoreboard” back at you.  How has this offense looked throughout 2016 and through the first two games this year?  How did this offense look in those few games in 2014 when they tried to revolve the offense around Percy Harvin.  Prima donnas don’t fucking WORK in this offense!  At this point, I’d take 8 Jermaine Kearses over an offense that tries to make Jimmy Fucking Graham its centerpiece.

So, what do you do?  I mean, you can’t cut him, but I think you can demote the shit out of him.  I think you can make Luke Willson the starter.  I think you can keep Graham on the bench outside of clear-cut passing situations.  I don’t need him fumbling blocks and being a waste of space on all running plays.  On any straight hand off to the running back, it’s already 10 vs. 11 because the quarterback is a non-factor; but, with Graham on the field, it’s like 9 vs. 11, and that’s why this team time and time again fails to move the ball on the ground.  I agree, you CAN’T call Jimmy Graham your starting tight end, but only play him in passing situations; so stop starting him.

And, when he’s out there in passing downs, keep throwing him into heavy coverage.  Either he’ll adapt to the harder hits and start catching these fucking passes, or he’ll get himself injured, and you can just cut him and move on.  Yes, I’m ACTIVELY rooting for Jimmy Graham to get injured; better him than someone who can actually help this team win fucking football games!

I would suggest trading him, but that doesn’t seem very realistic either.  Part of me thinks putting him in the AFC would be ideal (my fantasy team would appreciate it if he joined the Patriots, who very much should be trying to trade for him at this point, what with their receiver situation and Gronk’s injury history), but from a strict football standpoint, I think it’d be better for the Seahawks to send him to an NFC rival.  Stick him on the Packers, let them start to depend upon him, and then beat the shit out of him in the playoffs and leave them scrambling to find answers for when he inevitably no-shows.  It’s how we kept beating the Saints; I don’t see why it wouldn’t work again!

And, again, as with Percy Harvin costing us a chance to extend Golden Tate, I wonder if having Jimmy Graham around cost us a chance to keep Jermaine Kearse around for one more year.  I won’t overreact to his 2-TD day with the Jets yesterday, but I will say that I’d straight up trade Graham for Kearse right now.  Regardless, having Kearse around would’ve been nice considering Tanner McEvoy dropped everything thrown in his direction, including a surefire touchdown that would’ve changed the complexion of the entire game.  Between him, Prosise, and the rest, guys were dropping balls left and right!  Prosise particularly, as Russell led him with a pass that would’ve taken him straight into the endzone on our opening drive.  He also dropped a potential third down conversion later in the game that was a crusher.

It really made Russell Wilson’s day look so much worse.  I’m not going to sit here and say he played great – he definitely had his share of poor throws and poor decisions – but it could’ve been a decent, forgettable performance had he not been greeted by so many drops.  Also, let’s not kid ourselves, he’s still running for his fucking life back there, even when the protection is kinda okay.

But, for the most part, it wasn’t okay.  It’s never GOING to be okay.  Mark Glowinski is a disaster, and he needs to not be starting for this team anymore.  I know Oday Aboushi is just a veteran on a 1-year deal, but I refuse to believe he’s worse.  I think the Seahawks see a guy they drafted, a guy under club control for a bit longer, and they want to shoot for continuity over simply just playing the five best linemen, and I get that to a point.  I think we’re in a no-win situation with Luke Joeckel, because if he turns it around and somehow plays well, he’s going to command a mint on the open market.  If he’s terrible, then he’s likely going to find himself back on the street next offseason, playing for another 1-year prove-it deal (only this time as a clear backup).  Either way, it doesn’t seem likely that he’s a longterm solution for the Seattle Seahawks at left guard.  So, to play two of these types of guys – with Aboushi at right guard – and risk losing both to free agency next year if they both play well, is a lot to handle.

But, I mean, how much more of THIS can we withstand?  Sure, there are a couple of underwhelming defensive fronts the next two weeks with the Titans and Colts, but then it’s right back to getting your ass kicked against the likes of the Rams, Giants, Texans, Cardinals, Falcons, 49ers, Eagles, Jags, Rams again, and the Cardinals again.  That’s 10 of your remaining 14 games against really good defensive fronts that should certainly give this Seattle O-Line fits.  RARE is the game we can look forward to this team being in control of the line of scrimmage.  And, I’m sure, even against those terrible fronts, we’ll still struggle, because of course we will.  No name assholes will make mincemeat out of us, and Russell Wilson will have the bumps and bruises to prove it.

And holy shit, what was THAT on defense?  That’s two years in a row where Carlos Hyde has come into our building and come away with a 100-yard game!  We’re supposed to be this elite defense at stopping the run, and we can’t stop a just-sort-of-okay running back?  He almost single-handedly cost us the game with his explosive plays!  They couldn’t do SHIT aside from his long-distance runs!

But, you know, pobody’s nerfect.  The defense has been outstanding these first two weeks, only to be repeatedly let down by this offense.  Really, since 2012, we’ve been sitting around and daydreaming about a time where the offense finally takes over.  We thought, maybe in 2014, the script would flip.  Then, after that dominant run to close out the 2015 season, we thought YES!  2016 is the year!  And here we are, now in 2017, and this offense is more inept than it’s ever been.  The defense is STILL carrying this team.  And somehow, we’re not greeted with weekly rantings by disgruntled stars on that side of the ball.

You know how I know that pre-season Seth Wickersham article is 100% accurate?  Particularly the parts that talk about the defense being upset with this offense costing the Seahawks ballgames?  Because I’m sitting here watching this team fall all over itself in the running game, and in the red zone, and everywhere else, and I know for a fact I’d be going ballistic if I was a member of this elite defense and I knew every single game was on our shoulders.  We all wanted to dismiss Wickersham – myself included – but this is a real problem, and if we blow another shot at a championship with all these stars in the prime of their careers, I think we’re going to see all the bad vibes start to snowball.

Having Seen The Seahawks Play, Should We Revise Our Expectations?

In my preview & prediction post ahead of the Seahawks’ week 1 game in Green Bay, I had us going 13-3.  One of those wins I had pegged for us was that very game against the Packers, which obviously didn’t go according to plan.  So, is 13-3 totally off the table?  Are a lot of other things off the table as well?  Let’s dive in real quick.

If the Seahawks lose this week against the 49ers, we’ve got bigger problems than just losing out on the #1 seed in the NFC.  I can’t imagine a world where that happens, so let’s take for granted that the Seahawks will be 1-1 after this weekend.

I’m still concerned about the Titans, but decidedly less so than I was before week 1.  The Raiders were able to move the ball at will against them, both through the air and on the ground.  I don’t see a ton of difficult pass-rushers or interior D-linemen on their roster.  I think if the Seahawks can keep their rushing attack in check, we can force Mariota into enough errors on third down to prevail.  I had the Seahawks 2-1 after three games in my preview, and I think that’s still on the table.

I think the Colts look much worse than advertised, and that Sunday Night game has no business being anything other than a laugher.

Then, there’s that road game against the Rams.  Aaron Donald is predictably back in the fold, and I can’t see any way he doesn’t lay waste to our pathetic offensive line.  The only question being – 5 weeks into the regular season – will our O-Line have improved enough over the first month to at least keep Wilson upright?  Our only hope is that they will have gelled JUST enough to keep the pigs at bay.

After the BYE, it’s a road game against the Giants.  I can no longer, with good conscience, consider this game a win for the Seahawks.  Not with the way their D-Line balls out.  I can’t guarantee a loss either, because with Eli Manning, there’s always a chance.  So, I’ll say this:  the Seahawks will lose one of the two games between the Rams and Giants, and I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if it’s the Rams game we doof once again.

I still like our chances at home against both the Texans and Redskins.  I can’t see a rookie QB coming into CenturyLink Field and withstanding our pressure.  It might be a lot uglier than we’d like, but even a 6-3 victory is still a victory.  As for the Redskins, their defense is hot garbage, and all the Kirk Cousins in the world won’t be able to save them.

So, after 8 games, I have the Seahawks at 6-2, with an outside chance at 5-3 if they lose to both the Giants and Rams.

Kicking off the second half is that Thursday Night game against the Cards.  Carson Palmer still looks bad.  D.J. will miss this game with injury.  The rest of their offensive weapons are pretty suspect outside of the Hall of Famer Larry Fitzgerald.  They also don’t have Calais Campbell in the middle.  I want to call this game a coin flip, but I have to believe we’ll still prevail.

Monday Night against Atlanta becomes a real concern.  I’ll say this:  I’m glad the Seahawks are home for this one.  I could see this one being a huge score-fest, but their D-Line doesn’t totally petrify me.  Close Seahawks victory.

Again, I can’t imagine a world where we lose to the 49ers this year.

Suddenly the Philly game becomes a serious concern.  Their defense is legit.  Unless injuries start to take hold on that side of the ball, it wouldn’t shock me in the slightest to see the Seahawks muff this one.

I would also express some concern about the Jags game.  They’ve poured tons of resources into their defense (what are YOU doing here, Calais Campbell?!).  And, while I know they’ve got massive issues at the quarterback position, I could see them remain dedicated to the run, slow the game to a crawl, and if they make a couple plays here and there on defense, it could be one of those 14-6 games like we saw in Tampa last season.  I’m calling it right now:  the Seahawks WILL lose to either the Eagles or Jags, but definitely not both.

At home against the Rams, I’m marginally confident.  Let’s move on.

On the road against Dallas, again, I think we have to question some things.  While the Cowboys don’t terrify you on defense, I think they’re just good enough on offense to keep moving the chains.  By then, they should have their Ezekiel Elliott situation settled one way or the other (either he’ll play out the entirety of 2017, or he will have already had his suspension completed), and I’m a big Dak believer.  I’m notching this one in the L column just to be safe.

Finally, home against the Cards, with them having nothing to play for, is a recipe for success if I’ve ever heard one.

That puts us at 12-4, or maybe 11-5.  That most certainly keeps us out of the #1 seed and might even dump us into Wild Card weekend.  Losing games to Packers, Giants, and Cowboys could be just the tie-breakers to torpedo this season once again.

It’s not enough to just win the games you’re SUPPOSED to win.  You need to steal some wins against legit contenders!  4-0 against the AFC is about as useless as it gets when you lose 4-5 games against the NFC.  So, I hope I’m wrong, and the Seahawks still figure out a way to get to 13 wins.  Otherwise, it’ll all be as pointless as it was in 2016.

Shitty Refs & Shittier Seahawks Make Sure Packers Win Season Opener

Say what you want about referees, but that was a VERY poorly officiated game yesterday.  Did they single-handedly cost us the game?  On a scale from 1 to Super Bowl XL, I’d say they were a 6, which isn’t good AT ALL.

For starters, how about you call all the holding penalties on the Packers’ offensive line?  How about just that for starters?  Maybe don’t let them get away with holding EVERY single fucking down!  I know they have Aaron Rodgers and he’s the best human on the planet or whatever, but maybe try to look past that and see there are some garbage people on the Packers too.  Like their offensive line, who holds, on almost every play.

Obviously, though, the play of the game was 100% decided by the referees, and was 100% botched.  Early in the game – indeed, it was Green Bay’s opening possession after just a God-awful Seahawks 3 & Out – and Rodgers was pressured into throwing an interception to lineman Naz Jones.  Naz took it back to the house for a would-be touchdown, except for a couple of flags.

First of all, how about we keep the fucking flags in our pockets until there’s some LEGITIMATE blocking in the back?!  A slight nudge in Aaron Rodgers’ direction does not need to be penalized every fucking time!  Maybe save those calls for when they – I DON’T KNOW – actually spring a runner for a huge gain!  Not when it’s 10 yards behind the action?!

Secondly, Jeremy Lane never threw a punch, you fucking pieces of shit.  Indeed, if anything, he was baited by that cocksucker Davante Adams, who himself should’ve been called for a facemask at the VERY least!  In my opinion, Adams is the one who should’ve been thrown out of the game.  He was at least 20 yards away from the action after the INT, and his first instinct was to grab and twist Lane’s facemask and essentially start a brawl on the field?  If he’s not fined for that, the NFL can go fuck itself.

And, of course, whenever the Seahawks lose Jeremy Lane at the start of a game, bad things happen.  This was XLIX all over again.

With the refs tying one of our hands behind our backs, Aaron Rodgers was free to pick on Shaq Griffin and Justin Coleman the rest of the day, to the tune of 311 yards and a touchdown.  Say what you want about Griffin, but he’s still a rookie and he’s still going to be exposed like he was on Sunday.  So, when you have him on that island – without a quality veteran like Jeremy Lane to take some of the load off – bad things are going to happen.

So, not only did the refs cost us 7 points, but they made Aaron Rodgers’ and his annoying receivers’ lives that much easier by not having to contend with Lane for 60 minutes.  Fucking pathetic, NFL.

OH, BUT I THOUGHT THE REFS WERE SUPPOSED TO MAGICALLY BE BETTER NOW THAT SOME OF THEM ARE FULL TIME!

God, just go fuck yourselves, all of you.

But, you know, to be fair, the refs didn’t replace our offensive line with five wet paper bags.  I don’t know WHOSE idea it was to replace our offensive line with five wet paper bags, but that person really should be fired.

What’s that?  Those WEREN’T five wet paper bags out there “blocking” for our quarterback and running backs?  Those were, in fact, five large human beings who just so happen to SUCK ASS at football?  Huh, the hell you say!

I just … I CAN’T believe we’re having this same fucking conversation once again.  I mean, are you shitting me?  Is someone out there shitting me?  Am I being Betty White’s Off Their Rockers’d?

Just be marginally better than last year.  Isn’t that what I JUST said?  It can’t be that fucking hard, people!  We were the God Damned Motherfucking Worst last year!  Just be better than THAT!  Don’t be exactly the fucking same as that!  BE BETTER YOU TWATS!

And maybe, I dunno, watch some tape and figure out what works against Green Bay’s defense.  Because, whatever those passes were, whatever those routes were supposed to be, they weren’t fucking working.  You need to understand that if Wilson’s going to be under duress before he can count to 1, there need to be some better plays being called to get guys open quicker.  And guys, you need to GET open quicker.  I mean, where was Doug Baldwin in all of this?  If you’re going to be a Top 10 receiver in this league, you need to play like one and get your ass open!  Instead of running these elaborate, down-field routes, maybe simplify this shit so we can move the fucking ball!

And Jimmy Graham, I can’t wait until this piece of shit is out of our lives.  I’m through defending this turd.  Go fly your stupid fucking planes somewhere else, because I’m done.  You can’t get open, you shy away from the slightest contact, and you DROPPED a critical third down throw in the second half when we were only down 14-6 and driving for a potentially game-tying score!

You know what?  Go read some other blog if you want to hear about silver linings and what went right.  I’m too pissed off about this one.  Good teams don’t lose these games.  Good teams still find a way to win.  In the end, the offense couldn’t do shit (particularly in the red zone, when we repeatedly settled for field goals), and the defense couldn’t stop shit.  Of course, the defense only struggled in the second half because the offense left them on the field all fucking day, but whatever.  You’re an elite defense, figure out a fucking way to get off the fucking field on third fucking down!

Were there things to like about the D-Line?  Of course.  But, shit man, where was that pressure late in the game?  It sure seemed like the Packers adjusted; why couldn’t we?  If you’re supposed to be one of the VERY BEST in all of football, then fucking act like it when the game is on the line in the fourth quarter!

Fuck it.  Maybe I’ll get to silver linings later this week.  Or maybe never.  Fuck the Packers; I hope someone chops Aaron Rodgers’ smug fucking head off.

My Big Fat Seahawks Preview 2017

It’s insane at work right now, so I’m looking for little pockets of time to write this out and get it done on time before the weekend.  If it feels disjointed, just blame the scapegoat du jour.

I’ve already written a couple of preview-ish things on the 2017 Seahawks.  Back in April, when the schedule came out, I took a preliminary stab at predicting the outcomes.  Now that we’re just days away from the start of the season, I’ll update that with the power of new information!  Then, back in July, I took a look at the roster as we were barrelling toward Training Camp.  I don’t know how much my opinion has changed – from either of those two earlier posts – so if I harp on the same points, forgive me, but I just don’t have the time to re-read all of my blatherings.

I will say this:  whereas before I was cautiously optimistic – believing if everything broke right, it wasn’t hard to imagine this team back in the Super Bowl – now I’m a rock-hard, veiny, throbbing erection of populist Seahawks swaggeration!  I haven’t felt this confident about my team since the start of 2013!  Except, to be honest, I’ll have to walk that back a bit and say I haven’t felt this confident about my team since the start of 2014.  I mean, look, that 2013 team was CRAZY deep and CRAZY talented, up and down the roster.  On top of that, the 2013 team actually had a competent offensive line, whereas this year’s team is still very much in doubt (in spite of recent improved pre-season play, which I’ll get to in a bit).  Frankly, I was still pretty stoked on the Seahawks heading into 2014, and indeed pegged them for a repeat championship, which they had in their grasp one yard from fruition, but it wasn’t as solid a feeling as 2013.

This year is the same, in my mind.  The talent is there, no question.  In fact, in some areas, the talent is vastly improved (at least on paper).  And, the depth is in some ways back to where it was in 2013.  But, the last few years of creeping failure is clouding my enthusiasm JUST enough to have this nagging creature of doubt in the corner of my mind-grapes.  I’m doing my damnedest to give that guy the finger though, because I want to be ALL IN on the ground floor with this Seahawks team.

TL;DR:  WE’RE BACK, BABY!!!

Let’s just take this position by position, to show you how strong this team is, and to show the world how foolish it is to doubt us.

Quarterback – Top 5 in the entire league, fully healthy, in great running shape (the better to compensate for a questionable-to-say-the-least offensive line).

Running Backs – A deep stable of runners of all stars and stripes!  Lacy, the power back.  Prosise, the speed/pass-catching back.  Rawls, the good mix of both.  McKissic, the Prosise insurance.  Carson, the overall back & everyone else insurance.  If you can’t have Marshawn Lynch in his prime, then the next best thing is to stockpile 5 guys who add up to 1 Beastmode.

Wide Receivers – A Top 10 guy in Baldwin.  A burner in Lockett.  Another burner with outstanding ball skills in P-Rich.  A tall red zone threat in McEvoy.  And a rookie project in Darboh.  Not as deep without Kearse in the fold, but if you throw in McKissic and Prosise, you’ve got a lot of versatility in the passing game.

Tight Ends – A Top 3 guy in Graham.  Another tall receiving threat in Willson.  And a young blocking tight end with a good pedigree in Vannett.

Defensive Line – Off-the-charts talent all over the place.  Michael Bennett and Cliff Avril are proven studs.  Sheldon Richardson is the pass-rushing interior force we’ve been looking for since Cortez Kennedy retired.  Frank Clark is an up-and-coming dominant force who should look to take a giant step into the spotlight this season.  Jones and Reed are young interior talents with a lot to prove.  Smith and Bass are young ends with a lot to prove.  This could go down as the best D-Line we’ve ever had in Seattle, and yes even better than that 2013 unit that laid waste to the entire league.

Linebackers – More off-the-charts talent in guys like Bobby Wagner and K.J. Wright; guys who can cover all over the place, who are dominant against the run, and who can rush the passer on occasion.  Depth here is vastly improved over the last couple seasons, with proven vets in Wilhoite & Garvin.  Injuries should not be as much of an issue as they would’ve been in years past.

Secondary – The L.O.B. is still here and still as good as ever.  Earl, Kam, and Sherm comprise the best threesome of any secondary in the NFL.  Jeremy Lane is a solid all-around corner, with emphasis on nickel.  Shaq Griffin is the only question mark, but he’s got a good pedigree and should get plenty of safety help in the early going.

Special Teams – Blair Walsh looks like he’s starting to get back on track, but will have to prove it when the games matter.  Either way, he shouldn’t be as bad as Hauschka was last year, particularly on extra points.  Jon Ryan is still going to keep opposing offenses pinned back inside their 20 more often than not, and overall control the return game with his quality punts.  The return game is bolstered with McKissic as insurance for Lockett, should the team opt to bring him back slowly, or otherwise take some of the duties off his plate.  And, coverage units look a lot better with Neiko Thorpe, D.J. Alexander, and our rookie secondary guys.

The only real area of uncertainty is, obviously, the offensive line.  Everywhere else, the Seahawks have elite, top-shelf talent and depth.  So, let’s dig into this.

An argument can easily be made that past seasons’ O-Line groups were made to look better than they actually were because Marshawn Lynch was so money, and I’m hard pressed to go against that line of thinking.  Can any of the runners we have now live up to that and make this group of guys look better than they are?  I think, maybe, in small doses, Lacy can be that type of runner who limits negative rushes and falls forward for impressive gains.  I also think, in between injuries, Rawls can certainly be a Baby Beastmode with his style, but the question with him is how long will those healthy stints last?  Prosise has the speed to get around the edge and through holes before they close, but he’ll have to prove he can stay healthy too.

Indeed, even in the pass-protection portion of the O-Line game, the major concern is health:  can they keep Russell Wilson from getting injured?  Obviously, Wilson can help out his own cause by getting the ball out quickly and eluding pressure before it’s right on top of him; but they’re going to have to drastically reduce the amount of free runners at the quarterback if this thing is going to work.

In a lot of ways, injuries are a matter of luck, and the Seahawks were pretty fucking unlucky last year.  Not 2017 Mariners unlucky, but not too far off either.  What are the odds that Wilson will spend the entire season hobbled again?  In a vacuum, I’d have to say not very good; but with this line I think you have to consider it a coin flip at best.  Luck is one thing, but there are things a team can do to limit the amount of bad luck that comes your way.  Getting improved O-Line play is one of them.

For what it’s worth, I do think this line will be better than last year’s, and I think it’ll be better right from the start.  This is key, as there are a lot of important games early in the season, and we can’t afford to slog through 10 weeks of growing pains before we go on our annual year-end hot streak.

I think Odhiambo, with a year under his belt, will be better than Brad Sowell and 2016 George Fant.  Since Fant, last year, was about as bad as you can get, I’d say that’s a huge upgrade (and Odhiambo doesn’t even have to be GOOD to achieve this level of improvement!).  Now, obviously losing 2017 Fant to injury is about as devastating as it can get, because he really did look like he was going to take a huge step forward in his development, but I’ll take baby steps at this point over what we had last year.

Luke Joeckel looks like a solid upgrade over Glowinski at left guard.  Paired with Britt at center, I think that side of the line will be just fine.

Glowinski slides over to right guard, which appears to be his better side.  He’s been playing somewhat evenly with free agent Oday Aboushi, so it’s good to know at least the right guard spot should be adequate (and probably a step above 2016 Ifedi).

My biggest concern is 2017 Ifedi, having moved back to right tackle (where he played in college and was projected to play in the NFL).  I’ve seen this movie before, but usually it’s a right tackle who gets moved to one of the guard spots, and not the other way around.  The consensus being:  tackle is a harder position to play than guard (which is a harder position to play than center … hi Justin Britt!).  So, the rationale ends up as:  if Ifedi was pretty terrible at right guard last year, what hope is there for him as a right tackle?  Indeed, I don’t have a good answer for you there.  Again, I suppose I’ll bring up the experience angle.  The leap from rookie to second year player, particularly along the O-Line, is pretty pronounced.  You gotta figure he’s at the very least more comfortable in his assignments.  And, at his size, you’ve gotta give him the power advantage over what should be smaller defensive end/linebacker types going up against him (whereas when he was a guard, he was going up against mammoth D-tackles).  His limitations are obviously in the speed game, where his footwork comes into play.  I have very few concerns about Ifedi the run blocker, but I have a SHITLOAD of concerns about him in pass protection, as I think some of the better pass rushers can rope-a-dope the shit out of him.  We’ll see I guess.

Overall, as I said, I have hopes that instead of being the 32nd-rated offensive line, the Seahawks can jump up to the 25th-best.  Even that modest increase could prove to take this offense to as-yet-unseen heights of efficiency and scoring prowess.

Things to watch this season on offense will be:

  • 3rd down efficiency
  • Red zone efficiency
  • Yards per rush

In 2016, it seemed like the Seahawks were more prone to mistakes (penalties, missed blocking assignments) on third down, which is just a ball-buster.  No one is expecting the Seahawks to cut out the penalties entirely (indeed, some of their very best teams were among the most penalized in the league), but they’ve got to do a better job of not holding on long rushing plays, not getting called for offensive PI on pick plays, and not setting themselves back with third & long nonsense.

For the red zone, it’s simple:  find a way to get Jimmy Graham the ball.  Full stop.  He was the man in New Orleans and he had 9 or more TDs in all but one season there.  That needs to happen again, here, this season (and I’m not just saying that because he’s on one of my fantasy teams, but I’m also not NOT just saying that either, I think).

And, look for the Seahawks to get back to their rushing roots.  Beastmode may be gone, but the running backs we have now are more than capable of picking up that slack.  I’d also like to see a moderate return to the zone read, with Wilson pulling the ball back on occasion to keep defenses honest.  Also, not for nothing, but I’d like to see Wilson do this EARLY in games, to put that in other teams’ minds from the get-go.

On defense, watch for:

  • Turnovers
  • Late-game heroics
  • Quarterback pressure, hurries, hits, sacks

To get back to where we were in 2013, we’re going to have to force turnovers.  That goes hand-in-hand with pressuring the quarterback into bad decisions, as well as knocking the ball from his hand for fumbles.  That also goes hand-in-hand with the late game heroics, as we need to prevent those breakdowns we’ve seen in 2015 & 2016, and instead force turnovers to slam the door on those close games.  It’s a team game, and nowhere is that more apparent than the symbiotic relationship that is an NFL defense.

As for this year’s record, I’ll go through the schedule again, briefly.

  • Week 1 – I like the Seahawks to go into Green Bay and shock the world.  It’ll be our official announcement to the rest of the league that the Seahawks are here, they’re for real, and they’re going to stomp all over the lot of you!
  • Week 2 – A comfortable home victory against the young, rebuilding 49ers team.  Maybe not as dominant as we’d like, as they do have some young and talented pieces (particularly on defense), but a win is a win.
  • Week 3 – The Seahawks under Pete Carroll always seem to lose one road game to an AFC opponent that we’re all pretty unfamiliar with (except for last year, randomly, although we almost blew one at home against the Dolphins in week 1).  I think the Titans are really good and I could see the combination of their dominant rushing attack, and efficient passing game (particularly in the red zone) to just nip us for our first loss of the season
  • Week 4 – I like the Seahawks to get back on track at home, in primetime, against a weak Indy team.  With or without Luck, I like the Seahawks to roll.
  • Week 5 – No more losing to the Rams!  Jeff Fisher is dead, and with him so is the Rams’ proclivity of beating us for no good God damned reason.
  • Week 6 – BYE
  • Week 7 – I’m not particularly afraid of the Giants’ running game.  While they’ve got some good receivers, I think we can hold them in check and put enough pressure on Eli into forcing some mistakes.  Their defense is legit, but I like the Seahawks to do just enough in this one and win a close game by 3 in overtime.
  • Week 8 – The Texans come to town and will be sent packing.  I could see this one as a battle of defenses, with the Seahawks pulling away late.  Something in the realm of 16-3 or 16-6.
  • Week 9 – The Redskins come to town and they feel like just the sort of team who should be held in check by us.  Force Kirk Cousins into the worst game of his season, eliminate all threat of a rushing attack, and really take it to their porous defense.
  • Week 10 – Thursday Night in Arizona.  By this time, I wonder if Carson Palmer will even be playing.  Either way, he showed his age in 2016, and I can’t imagine he’ll be in for a fountain of youth situation this year.  No Calais Campbell, no monster in the middle to defend.  I think this is another game where the 12’s will make themselves heard on the road, and the Seahawks take the game comfortably in the fourth quarter.
  • Week 11 – Monday Night in Seattle against the Falcons.  I know the Seahawks took them out in the regular season last year, and I know we’ll be coming off of a Thursday game (and thus have all this extra time to prepare), but I can’t help but be concerned about this one.  I think it’ll be exciting and I think it’ll be close, but I could also see the Falcons just having our number and being able to score in bunches.  Rare home Monday Night loss for the Seahawks here.
  • Week 12 – At San Francisco, again, I think they should be relative push-overs.
  • Week 13 – Home night game against Philly.  I don’t see enough out of their offense to hold a candle to our defense.  Another comfortable, boring win at home at night.
  • Week 14 – I could see the Seahawks getting off to a sloppy start on the road, in a 10am start, in Jacksonville.  But, by the second quarter, the tide should turn and the Seahawks should take this one running away.
  • Week 15 – I SAID NO MORE LOSING TO THE RAMS!!!
  • Week 16 – Here we go!  Christmas Eve in Dallas!  In what could very well be a matchup that decides the NFC’s #1 seed!  I can’t imagine the odds of the Seahawks sweeping the NFC East are very good, but I dunno.  I just got a feeling that the Seahawks are going to sweep this road slate of impossible NFC teams (Packers, Giants, Cowboys).  This one could be another barnburner, with a late turnover keying the Seahawks to victory.
  • Week 17 – At 13-2 headed into the final week, I think the Seahawks rest a lot of guys after a quarter or two and drop the season finale, with the #1 seed all wrapped up.

13-3 is my official prediction.  The Seahawks cruise through the playoffs into the Super Bowl where they await the darlings of the NFL:  the Oakland Raiders.  Everything about that game gets my loins all a-tizzy.  Also, the idea of sticking it to the Raiders brings me tremendous joy.

The Seattle Seahawks, Super Bowl LII Champions!

Okay, that’s all for now.  Let’s get this season in gear!