The Mariners Finished 78-84

Tied for 14th-worst record in baseball, with the Texas Rangers.  And, by virtue of the Rangers having a superior record than the Mariners in 2016, that means we win the tie-breaker!  Hurrah!  We’re drafting 14th!

Hey, it could’ve been worse.  Sure, it could’ve been a lot better, but I guess we just HAD to win those three games in the final week!

I have nothing to say about the series against the Angels.  I’m just going to run through some numbers.  I’ll have a proper End Of Season Recap when I’ve had time to digest everything that’s happened.

78-84 is good for 3rd in the A.L. West, behind the division-winning Astros and the nothing Angels.  The Astros were 23 games better than the Mariners.  Go ahead and let that sink in.

78-84 is good for 7 games back of the second Wild Card spot.  The Twins ended up taking that, as I believe I’ve mentioned before.  The Royals, Rays, and Angels all stood in our way as well.  Oddly enough, every team out of the playoffs was under .500 in the American League (there were two teams in the N.L. with winning records that failed to make the playoffs).

The Mariners finished 40-41 at home; 38-43 on the road.  The Mariners finished with a -22 run differential (by the Pythagorean winning percentage, we should’ve been about 1 win better).

Here are the Mariners’ records by month:

  • April:  11-15
  • May:  14-14
  • June:  15-12
  • July:  14-12
  • August:  12-15
  • September:  12-16

The Mariners’ peak was 3 games over .500, which I believe they achieved twice; the nadir was 8 games under .500.  The longest winning streak and losing streak were both 6 games.  The Mariners were 7-5 in extra innings games.  They were 26-15 in 1-run games.

Here are the Mariners’ final records against their A.L. West foes:

  • Houston:  5-14
  • Anaheim:  7-12
  • Texas:  11-8
  • Oakland:  12-7
  • Total:  35-41

That means the Mariners were 43-43 against everyone else.  Not great, considering every other American League division had a minimum of 2 playoff teams; we really should’ve done a better job cleaning up in our own division.

Jean Segura led the Mariners in batting average with an even .300.  Nelson Cruz led the team in OBP with .375, and Slugging with .549 (it would stand to reason, then, that he led in OPS with .924).  Cruz led the team in homers with 39, and in runs scored with 91; he led the entire American League in RBI with 119.  Robbie Cano had the team lead in hits with 166.  Cano and Seager tied for the team lead in doubles with 33.  And Ben Gamel took the team lead in triples with 5.  Jarrod Dyson was your stolen base king with 28.

The less said about the pitching, the better, but here are a couple of nuggets.  You want to know who led the team in innings pitched?  Ariel Miranda, with a whopping 160!  Paxton led the team in strikeouts with 156 and in wins with 12.  Yovani Gallardo led the team in losses with 10.  Nick Vincent, naturally, led the team in Holds with 29.  And Edwin Diaz finished with 34 saves.

The Mariners finished 7th in the A.L. in runs scored with 750.  8th in ERA with 4.46.

I could go on and on, but I’ll call it a day right there.  All told, the offense was worse than I expected, and the pitching was as bad as I feared.  Of course, I hoped for the best with the pitching, and it indeed may have been better had everyone not gotten injured.  But, overall this is probably the record the Mariners deserved.  This is probably the best indication of who these Mariners were.  Sure, they might’ve been a bit better with a full season out of Paxton and Felix, and with ANY season out of Smyly, but with their flaws, this was no playoff team.  Not now, not ever.

You want to hear something really sad?  In two years managing the Seattle Mariners, Lloyd McClendon was 163-161.  In two years managing the Seattle Mariners, Scott Servais is 164-160.  Over these last two years, the Mariners are exactly 1 game better than they were the previous two years.

God I hate baseball.

The Mariners Unsurprisingly Win When It Does Them No Good

But don’t worry, next year when it matters again, they’ll get right back to the losing!

James Paxton got the start and did about as well as you’d expect:  5.2 innings, 3 runs, on 6 hits, with 5 strikeouts.  Suffice it to say, he’s still rounding into shape from his latest DL stint, and should be back to his old dominating self next week sometime.  Just in time to watch the playoffs from his couch.

The offense picked him up today, so at least he was able to salvage a no decision.  Gamel had 3 hits and an RBI in the leadoff spot.  Alonso and Valencia each had homers and combined for 5 RBI.  And, the Mariners’ bullpen did their job to round out the 6-3 victory.

It’s been a while since this team was able to go Pagan-Vincent-Diaz, with them all throwing shutout innings.  Brings back fond memories of better Mariner times.

This may or may not be James Paxton’s final start.  We know Felix is done, and we got word that Mike Leake is also being shut down to rest his arm or some damn thing.  We’ve got Erasmo going today, Marco Gonzales going Friday, and Andrew Moore going Saturday, with Sunday TBD.  Could be Albers, could be Paxton, could be a bullpen day.  I guess we’ll see.

If this was Paxton’s final start, we might as well congratulate him on his very best season as a Mariner.  Oh yeah, in spite of all the injuries, he’s hit career highs in appearances (23, all starts), innings (130), strikeouts (147), wins (12), and WAR (3.5).  This was, officially, the year that James Paxton became the Ace of the Seattle Mariners’ pitching staff.  And, if he hadn’t missed 10 starts, we might be talking about a really special season.

Look at it this way:  as it stands, the Mariners won a little over 60% of his starts.  If you tack on 10 more starts, and give the Mariners 6 more wins, BOOM, we’re right there in the thick of that second Wild Card spot.  And that’s not even taking into account how poorly he’s pitched in the first few games after returning from the DL those two times!  I mean, just this month alone he took two hard-luck losses because he was building up arm strength and therefore was stuck on a low pitch count.  Every time he came back from a leave of absence, he had to get his mechanics back in line; if he was just healthy all the way through, he never would’ve had those mechanical issues and a reduction in arm strength.  It’s not out of the question, with the way he was going, for the Mariners to win up to 70% of his starts if he’d been fully healthy all season!

You want a reason why the Mariners didn’t make the playoffs?  Well, there’s 1 of about a billion right there.

The Mariners have fallen to 16th in the draft order with last night’s victory, so that’s just fucking great.  There’s only one more game for the A’s to roll over and fucking die for us, then we go to Anaheim to close out the season.  Hopefully on a nice, fat, juicy 3-game losing steak streak.

Mariners Look Up “Too Little Too Late”, See Their Reflection

It’s nice to see Marco Gonzales have a little success, I guess.  He was still only able to go five innings, but I have to assume that’s because he’s coming from the bullpen and hasn’t yet been stretched out.  Still, 5 innings and 3 runs is far and away his best outing start of the season.  He got into a couple of mini-jams, but was able to get out of them without throwing away the game.  He struck out 6 and walked only 1, while spreading 8 hits around.  And, he got his first win in a Mariners uniform (and his first Major League victory since 2014).  When you tack that onto his 4 shutout innings from his previous appearance, let’s hope that’s the start of a nice, successful run to close out the season.

It’s nice to see the offense bust out in a big way.  Haniger continues to smoke the ball, with 2 more hits (including a double) and 2 more runs scored.  Cano had 3 hits (including a double), with a run and an RBI.  Cruz had 2 hits and 2 runs; Seager hit a 3-run bomb and also scored 2 runs; Ben Gamel also had a 3-run bomb as part of his 3-hit day.  On top of that, Zunino and Alonso both had 2 hits apiece to really drag this game kicking and screaming past the 3-hour mark.

And sure, it’s nice that the dregs of the bullpen mopped up the final four innings without giving up another run.  All in all, it adds up to a nice 10-3 victory for the Mariners, evening up the series, bringing their record to within one game of .500, and maintaining the 3.5 game deficit from the second Wild Card.

All of these are nice things, but they won’t mean a damn thing until the Mariners are able to manage a winning streak.

The encouraging thing is, the Mariners might FINALLY be able to do something here.  It’s going to take everything they have, and if I had to bet the family farm, I’d 100% bet against it happening, but as of the middle of September – with just over 2 weeks left in the season – the Mariners might have finally fleshed out a starting rotation.

I know, right!  But, go with me on this, I’ve had a long day week month life.

Mike Leake has looked awfully solid in his first few starts here.  If he can keep it up, he’s a nice little #3 pitcher for this rotation.  He goes tonight.

Then, there’s Felix.  The last time he came off the DL, he was able to make 8 starts before re-injuring the same body part.  Of those 8 starts, 5 were useable.  Given how late we are in the season, 5 good starts should be plenty.  He goes tomorrow (he’ll be on a limited pitch count for the first game, but that’s what we have all these long relievers for).

Then, we’ve got Paxton kicking off the Houston series.  The last time he came off the DL, he was able to make 14 starts before getting injured again.  Of those 14, 12 were useable.  That’s more than enough.

Then, there’s Erasmo Ramirez.  He never gets injured.  Sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes you just wish he’d go on the DL for the rest of your life.  He’s riding a 6-game Quality Start streak that has to be the best run of pitching in his entire career.  He has almost single-handedly held this rotation together while Felix and Paxton have been gone.  If we have to go with a #4 starter, I’ve seen worse.

Then, there’s TBD.  I’m going to flip the fuck out if Ariel Miranda is still in this rotation come Sunday, because as we’ve clearly seen, both Marco Gonzales and Andrew Moore have both pitched excellent in recent games.  Either way, you have to expect Miranda is on the world’s shortest leash; it’s really more of a Chinese finger trap at this point.  I have to expect, if he gets the start, there will be a man warming up in the bullpen right alongside him before the game even gets going.  If you consider the team’s fifth starter just a Bullpen Day for the month of September (knowing full well that if by some miracle the M’s make the playoffs, they’ll never need a fifth starter, and likely won’t even need a fourth), I’d be okay with that.

So, you know, the blueprint is there.  Decent starting pitching, lots of clutch hitting, and the bullpen needs to catch fire the rest of the way.  5 games against the Rangers, 3  against Oakland, 3 against the Angels:  all should be winnable games.  Then, there are 3 against the Astros and 3 against the Indians.  I know the Astros are our kryptonite, but we’re going to have to find a way to win at least 2 of those games this weekend.  And I know the Indians are riding an insane 20-game winning streak, but we just have to hope they cool the fuck off before we play them at home next weekend, and again take 2 of 3.

Realistically, I think the Mariners need to go 13-4 the rest of the way to lock up the second Wild Card.  That would put us at 85-77.  Right now, the Twins (who currently hold that spot) are 75-69, with 18 games to go.  If we went 13-4 and the Twins went only went 9-9, we’d beat them by 1 game.  So, yeah, that’s what we’re looking at.  And let’s not forget the three teams in between us and the Twins (Angels, Rangers & Royals), nor the two teams still hovering around just behind us (Rays & Orioles).

When you lay it all out there like that, it really looks daunting.  It’s different when you see the Mariners are 3.5 games back.  Theoretically, you can make that up in a week!  But, when you factor in how few games are left in the season, and you realize your fate isn’t in your hands anymore, it seems impossible, doesn’t it?  Crazier things have happened, but I have to admit this would be one of the craziest.

What a damn, fucking waste this season has been.

With The Astros Out Of Town, The Mariners Can Get Back To Winning Baseball Games

Mike Leake gave us a second quality start in as many outings and the bullpen was able to hold on to take a 4-3 series-opening win over the Angels.

I’ve had this series on my mind ever since the Angels came in last month and ruined Edgar Martinez weekend.  Revenge will be ours!  And, while their top four hitters were able to get theirs, it wasn’t enough, and the bottom of the lineup was laid to waste to keep things close.

Leake got through 6 innings, giving up 3 runs (2 earned), striking out 5 and walking 0.  From there, with the expanded bullpen, Scott Servais got to pull out his inner Mike Scioscia, using 3 relievers to get through the seventh.  From there, Vincent handled the eighth, and Edwin Diaz got right back on the trolley for his 32nd save of the season.

Ben Gamel was the hero offensively, hitting a 3-run home run.  Mitch Haniger hit the winning run in back in the third inning on an RBI single the other way.  The M’s had 11 hits in total, with Haniger, Zunino, and Gamel in the bottom half of the lineup combining for 6 of those hits.

The Mariners are still too far back to get into the Wild Card picture.  Get back to me if they sweep this series.

Tonight, we’ve got Albers on the hill, followed by Erasmo tomorrow afternoon.  Godspeed.

It’s looking like, if things keep going well, we’ll have Felix and Paxton back towards the end of next week.  Fingers crossed!

Let’s go on a big ol’ hot streak to end the season and really blow the world’s mind!

Mariners Sweep Athletics Again

The Mariners did what they were supposed to do:  sweep the A’s over this 3-game series.  Andrew Albers threw five no-hit innings (six total, 1 run on 1 hit – a homer – with 1 walk and 5 strikeouts), and the bullpen kept them at bay the rest of the way.  The offense got 3 runs off of their starter, played add-on in the later innings, and blew it open in the eighth with a 5-spot.

Cano and Haniger each had 4 hits, with a homer apiece; Segura had 3 hits and 3 runs; Chooch had a homer and a double; really, everyone had a good day offensively except for Ben Gamel, who looks to be in a tailspin over the second half of this season.

The M’s are back to 1 game over .500, and back to within 2.5 games of the second Wild Card spot.  The Twins currently hold that spot, but are starting to cool off, just in time for the surging Orioles to take over.  Hopefully, the Mariners can bide their time and steal a few wins this week.

The Astros come first, with a 3-game series of the damned.  Much like that last Yankees series, I’m predicting the Mariners will be swept, so winning just one of these next three would be a miracle.  Then, it’s the Angels for the weekend and I don’t know about you, but I want some fucking revenge over them ruining our Edgar Martinez weekend!  Fuck those turds!

Mariners Gag Away A Heartbreaker As Marco Gonzales Pitches Himself Out Of A Job

You can’t say the kid was robbed of his opportunity.  After getting his feet wet in Tacoma, the Mariners called him up at the beginning of the month; he’s had 5 starts in the month of August.  In exactly 0 of those starts did he go a minimum of 5 innings.  His ERA is 7.40 in that span, he’s averaged almost a homer-allowed per start, he gives up a ton of hits and for a guy who’s supposed to be known for his control, he sure does walk a lot of guys.  His change-up is supposed to be his best pitch, but boy do I see him leave that hanging out over the middle of the plate more than I see him striking guys out with it.

With his latest huge embarrassing failure yesterday – 3.1 innings, 5 runs – I think we’ve finally seen the last of him in the rotation.  It’ll be September the next time his turn comes up in the rotation, which means rosters will expand and we can bring up someone from Tacoma like Sam Gaviglio, who can at least get us through five fucking innings.

And yet, in spite of all that, the Mariners managed to scratch and claw their way to a 4-3 lead at one point, as well as a 6-6 tie after Gonzales was pulled.  Ben Gamel was the big stud of the day, with 2 hits (including a homer) and 5 RBI.  Valencia, Seager, and Cruz all chipped in on the day as well.  Unfortunately, the bullpen couldn’t be perfect.  The Mariners NEED the bullpen to be perfect if they’re going to win games like these, but it’s just not realistic to see that come to fruition.  Christian Bergman did a yeoman job getting through 2 innings, giving up just the one run (particularly getting out of the jam Gonzales put him in in the bottom of the fourth).  Emilio Pagan got through the final 2.2 innings to save the rest of the bullpen, but he too gave up a run, and that ended up being the decider.  The Mariners put the first two runners on in the top of the eighth, but couldn’t push either of them home and that was that.

What was once a tremendous start to this road trip as late as last Friday, has suddenly taken a sour turn over this 3-game losing streak.  The Mariners need to win one of the next two games to ensure at least a .500 road trip, which I think we all would’ve taken around this time two weeks ago.  But, considering the M’s started out 5-2, ending up with a 6-6 or 5-7 road trip would be a collosal disappointment.  Here’s hoping Erasmo Ramirez and Ariel Miranda can work some magic to right the ship.

One Of These Days I’ll Stop Getting Excited Over Every Little Mariners Hot Streak

Well, that’s the second time in three days that the Mariners’ offense has been completely and totally shut down by an inferior starting pitcher.  That’s … less than ideal.

I won’t put the blame entirely on Ben Gamel and Mitch Haniger, but it certainly doesn’t help that they’ve dropped a combined 150 points from their batting averages at their peaks earlier this season.  Haniger, particularly, hasn’t been the same hitter since he went on the DL the first time back in April.  I still don’t think he’s totally healthy, and I don’t think he ever will be the rest of this season, which is a shame.  He’ll certainly be a bounce-back candidate for 2018.  As for Gamel, I don’t want to say the league has figured him out, but it feels like he’s gone from being unsustainably lucky at the plate to being unsustainably unlucky.  He has nevertheless been on a down streak since his insane month of June, hitting .255 in July and hitting .159 so far in August.  That, quite frankly, is unacceptable, and I think it’s time for Guillermo Heredia to start playing a more everyday role for this outfield.

On the mound, Marco Gonzales got the start and was pretty good through four innings, giving up just the 1 run.  But, then the fifth inning rolled around, and you know the story.  By getting two quick outs to start the inning, it became the longest outing of his Mariners career, but then he gave up a walk and a single and that was that.  Of course, James Pazos came in and immediately gave up one of the inherited runners – because that’s what this bullpen does all the time, apparently – so Gonzales got stuck with a second run.  I don’t think it’s enough to cost him his rotation job just yet, but I do think he’s still treading on very thin ice and his next start – if it’s bad enough – could be his last.

Two more unearned runs followed, as the Braves shut out the Mariners 4-0.  The Mariners’ defense has been a fucking circus, with 6 errors over the last two games.  And it’s not like we have any one guy giving us fits; these bone-headed plays are thoroughly spread around the entire team.

Nelson Cruz got the start in right field yesterday and apparently the rest of the offense took that as a sign that they could take the day off.  Well, he went 0 for 4, but he didn’t injure himself, so I guess that’s a plus.  It makes no sense whatsoever to keep him out of the lineup because his defense is sub-par, because the rest of this defense has been a fucking disaster!  I wouldn’t want to press my luck here, so the smart thing to do is probably sit him later today.  However, losing this series to the Braves might just be this team’s breaking point this season, what with the Yankees on the horizon this weekend.

In Oh Yay More Injuries news, Tony Zych is on the DL with a flexor bundle or some damn thing.  Dan Altavilla was brought up, and pitched a couple quality innings last night (giving up just the one unearned run), so at least we were able to save the good arms in our bullpen.  David Phelps had a good pitching session the other day, and could be back as early as today, or as late as two days from now, so that’s a positive at least.  I don’t know the extent of Zych’s injury, but with the way he throws and with the way his arm keeps betraying him, he may have some mechanical issues that he needs to fix if he wants to keep playing the game of baseball long term.

It’s all on Erasmo’s shoulders tonight, as he goes up against R.A. Dickey.  I could see the Mariners’ offense exploding for double-digit runs, or I could see them totally handcuffed and unable to score at all.  This might be a game to avoid, all things considered.

Mariners Kick Off Their Road Trip In Style

The Rays looked pretty mediocre yesterday, as the Mariners brought the whooping stick, beating them 7-1.  They couldn’t hit, they couldn’t pitch, I mean …

Funny Office Space quotes are funny …

Erasmo Ramirez, of all people, set the tone.  I wouldn’t say he looked particularly fired up, but he was able to get out of a massive jam in the second and only gave up 1 run across 6 innings for his second start in a row.  I don’t have the foggiest how few times a Mariners starter has gone 6 innings in recent weeks, but just try to cherish it while you can.

The offense was terrific.  Nelson Cruz went 3 for 5 with a double, a homer, 3 runs scored, and 2 RBI.  Mike Zunino went 2 for 3 with a double and 2 RBI.  Danny Valencia got the start in right field and had 2 hits and an RBI.  And Ben Gamel also chipped in with 2 hits, 1 RBI and a run scored.  But, all of our starting nine had at least one hit; it was really something special.

With the big lead, James Pazos did most of the bullpen’s heavy lifting, going 2.1 innings of shutout ball.  And Emilio Pagan cleaned up the final two outs in the ninth to preserve our really important guys.

All in all, a fantastic start to the road trip, especially coming off of the off-day the day before.

For you scoreboard watchers, with various losses in and around us, the Mariners have pulled to within 0.5 games of the second Wild Card, tied with the Royals, still behind the Angels.  Texas is right on our heels, a game behind us, and the rest are too far to mention right now.

Two more down in Tampa.  I don’t know why, but I’ve kinda sorta got a good feeling about this series.  That’s probably a huge mistake, but what are you gonna do?

Remember This Day: The Mariners Are Alone In The Second Wild Card Spot

Remember it, because it probably won’t last.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up, because I know the other shoe is about to drop, but this is unbelievably exciting.  The Mariners took down the A’s 6-3 yesterday to complete the 2-game sweep – a feat that should be appreciated with a golf clap rather than hyperbolic sycophantism, because given how terrible the A’s are now, that’s something the Mariners absolutely SHOULD HAVE accomplished – while the Royals and Rays both lost to fall a game behind the Mighty Mariners!

This might very well be the zenith of the Mariners’ season.  3 games over .500 for the first time all year.  All alone in that aforementioned second Wild Card spot.  Just completed a 6-3 road trip to get to within 2 games of .500 on the road on the season.  Heading back to Seattle for the only week’s worth of home games in August, with Paxton on the mound tonight followed by Edgar Martinez Weekend.  If this isn’t as good as it gets, then get the hell away from me because I must be dreaming and I don’t want to wake up!

It all started yesterday afternoon.  Kyle “Corey’s Brother” Seager jacked a 3-run homer in the first to get things going.  Then, Nelson Cruz followed with a 2-run homer in the third and a solo homer in the fifth.  Not for nothing, but Seager has climbed up to 17 homers on the season, 7 of them since the All Star Break.  And Cruz is up to 26 homers, 9 of them since the All Star Break.  Not a moment too soon for either of those guys to get hot, I tell you what.

Staked to 6 runs, what did the Mariners get out of Yovani Gallardo?  More of his same putrid bullshit.  He gave up some mighty solo homers in the first and third to keep the A’s in it, then started to give up a lot of hard-hit contact in the fifth.  A single, followed by a liner that was only caught at the wall because Ben Gamel is literally Superman, followed by a run-scoring double and that was the end of his day.  Luckily, Emilio Pagan bailed him out, as well as the rest of the Mariners, keeping the damage to just what Gallardo gave up.  Pagan went 2.2 innings of 1-hit shutout ball to record the victory.

You know, it’s pretty fucking sad when a guy given six runs of support from his offense can’t even qualify for the fucking win.  It’s 5 innings!  That’s all you have to do!  And Gallardo couldn’t even do that, against the fucking A’s of all teams.  What. A. Piece. Of. Shit.  He does all this good in the bullpen, enough to get his starting job back, and this is what he’s able to manage.  Fucking pathetic.

From there, Tony Zych was able to lock down the eighth, and Edwin Diaz was able to lock down the ninth for his 25th save.  Somewhere out there, some fantasy baseball player got a really good deal on Edwin Diaz right before the All Star Break, and that person has been rewarded with 12 saves against only 1 blown save in a little under 4 weeks.  Simply outstanding!

It’s pretty easy to get excited about this team right now, especially with James Paxton on the mound tonight against the Angels, but again we’re talking about everything riding on this start.  Because have you seen the fucking duds we’ve got going over the weekend?  Marco Gonzales, Erasmo Ramirez, and Ariel Miranda, in that order.  If we don’t win the Paxton start, again, I think you can kiss this series goodbye, as well as our lead in the Wild Card and everything else.

If Paxton wins, MAYBE you could envision the Mariners’ offense jumping all over the Angels on Friday or Saturday (while getting just enough out of our starter before pulling him after 5 innings), with an outside chance of Miranda having a quality bounce-back start on Sunday and taking 3 of 4.  But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we need Paxton to come through to make any of our dreams a reality.

I was going through the schedule the rest of the way, picking out the Paxton starts assuming nothing changes and we continue with the 5-man rotation.  I made the argument that if you moved Paxton around in the rotation, pitching him strictly every 5th DAY instead of every 5th game, you could get an extra start out of him, while at the same time slotting him into either pitching the final game of the regular season, or (if we’ve clinched), setting him up for the Wild Card game.  Whereas, if you just pitch him every fifth game as anticipated, he ends up missing a lot of important series against difficult teams, and may not be ready until the ALDS (if we get that far).

My argument is:  you need to maximize James Paxton as much as humanly possible, since he’s your only good starter.  Getting 1 more Paxton start, on what’s ostensibly regular rest (I’m not going crazy here and suggesting he pitch every fourth day or something), could make all the difference in what’s looking like a Wild Card race that’s destined to go down to the wire.

And I understand the arguments against it.  He’s pretty injury prone, so do you want to risk blowing up his arm in this all-important season?  Baseball is a slog!  It’s a marathon, not a sprint; but it’s also just a fucking slog through the muck for six straight months.  It’s punishing.  It’s obscene, really, how long it is, and the fact that they have to play everyday, sometimes going three full weeks without a day off.

But, I mean, do you want this or not?  The Mariners almost certainly won’t do it, because you’re not managing a fantasy baseball roster, you’re managing human beings with feelings and egos and you can’t just single out one starter like that without alienating the rest of the rotation (as shitty as those other guys may be).  But, I thought the motto was “Whatever It Takes”!  Seems to me, guys are going to have to swallow some pride if we want to get this done.  Just ask Danny Valencia, who was benched because the Mariners were scheduled to face a bunch of right-handed starting pitchers in a row.

That’s my two cents anyway.  The way this season is going, Paxton will probably blow out his arm tonight and the point will be moo.  You know, a cow’s opinion.  The single greatest line from the TV show Friends in its illustrious 10-season run.

My other two cents, before things completely fall apart, is that I agree with Mike Salk and Softy (among other local radio personalities, presumably) that Scott Servais should ABSOLUTELY be in the running for Manager of the Year.  I mean, I know nobody cares about those awards, and most people who vote for them are just checking the box of the team with the best record without giving it more than 2 seconds of thought, so, you know, bank on the guy who manages the Astros to win it this year.  But, has anyone done more with less than Scott Servais?  Has anyone had to juggle a pitching staff with so many injuries?  The answer is no, obviously, the Mariners have had the most snakebitten pitching staff in the history of baseball.  But, he’s got this team in contention by playing that rotation like a fiddle.  Sometimes, guys just have bad games and they have to wear it.  But, more often than not, he’s pulling starters at just the right time, squeezing as much as he can out of them before going to the bullpen.  And, for the most part, I’ve liked his bullpen decisions.  He’ll have a brain fart here and there, but who doesn’t?  I’ve honestly been REALLY impressed by how little I’ve complained about his bullpen usage.  Even when it doesn’t work out, I can almost always understand the rationale behind the move.  It’s refreshing, really, after Lloyd McClendon and some of the other doofus managers we’ve had here in recent years.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got today.  Voters, give Scott a chance!

Holy Schnikes The Mariners Are In A 3-Way Tie For The Second Wild Card!

Caveat:  it’s only August 9th.  But still.

The Seattle Mariners are 2 games over .500 for the fourth time this season, but this one was pretty special.

For starters, Jesus Christ God Dammit Ariel Miranda sure did suck again!  6 runs in 5 innings, including 2 more home runs to give him 29 home runs given up on the season, which is the MOST in the entire Major Leagues.  29 homers in 23 games for Christ’s sake!  29 homers in 131.2 innings!  Or a homer every four and a half innings.  That’s un-fucking-sustainable!  You can’t give up this many homers in a season and expect to keep your job!  I don’t care how low your WHIP is, or how many of those homers are solo homers, eventually that shit’s gonna catch up to you and you’re going to blow up spectacularly!

Take last night, for instance.  Bottom of the first inning, he gave up a double and a walk before Khris Davis’ 3-run bomb to put the Mariners in a HUGE hole.  I’ll accept watching a Miranda start where he battles, or where he looks great those few and far between times, but I absolutely will not accept watching a start where he looks like every other non-Paxton starter in this fucking organization.  No thanks.  Suffice it to say, I was pretty much done with the game after that (and, with my crazy schedule, that’s not a huge sacrifice, considering I would go to bed at 8pm anyway).

What I missed, apparently, was one for the ages.  The M’s got one back in the top of the third when Zunino scored from third on a groundout, but the damage was limited, and the deficit would increase in the bottom half by a couple more runs.  Dyson punched an RBI single to left to make it 5-2 in the fourth, but the A’s would extend it back to 6-2 in the fifth on a solo homer.

With Ariel Miranda sufficiently knocked out of the game (at 86 pitches no less, because he’s efficient even when he’s fucking terrible), that’s when the real fun began.  Gamel knocked in two runs on a double in the sixth, Cruz knocked in another run in the seventh, and Valencia hit a sac fly in the eighth to tie it up.  Along the way, the Mariners got some remarkable relief pitching from the likes of Casey Lawrence, Nick Vincent, and Scrabble to push this game into extras.

Then, in the top of the tenth (after the Mariners walked three times in the ninth and somehow still didn’t score), with two outs, Leonys Martin continued his hot streak since being called back up, jacking a solo homer to right field to give the Mariners the lead.  Edwin Diaz got into a little mini-jam, but got himself out of it for his 24th save on the year.  That puts him 18th all time in Mariners history in most saves in an individual season.  His 42 career saves over his two-season career is 12th on the Mariners’ all time saves list, just a hop and a skip behind the likes of Brandon League, Bobby Ayala, Eddie Guardado, and Fernando Rodney.  So, you know, if you’re expecting Edwin Diaz’s career to go up in smoke, just give him another month or so.  History dictates once a Mariners closer gets between 50-70 saves, he automatically forgets how to get guys out.

What a crazy, VERY important win!  I mean, with the way the A’s are giving up on this season, there’s absolutely no excuse to lose either of these games in this 2-game series.  I know it’s baseball, and anything can happen, but if the Mariners are going to somehow shock the world, they’re going to need to beat up on teams like the A’s.  This is where you EAT!

If it’s all right with you, I think I’ll close by stopping and smelling the roses a little bit.  It’s, frankly, mindblowing how the Mariners are still hanging around in this Wild Card race.  I know there have been other seasons where the Mariners have been in contention in recent years, but this one definitely feels more special given all the Mariners have had to overcome and all that they’ll continue to have to overcome.

First and foremost, it looks like Felix has the same injury he had earlier this year.  They’re saying he’ll be out 3-4 weeks, which puts us into September, but if it’s as bad as the last one was – where he ended up missing almost 2 full months – we might not see him again in the regular season, if at all this year.  I hope the rest of the team can pick him up and carry us into the playoffs, for Felix’s sake, but I’m going to be heartbroken for him if we FINALLY get there for the first time in his career and he ultimately can’t go.  From a psychological standpoint, that might actually be worse than not going at all.

We also got word that David Phelps will miss 2-3 weeks, so it sounds like he’s not as bad off as Felix.  I’m going to hold my breath if it’s all the same to you and hope we get him back on the shorter end of that range rather than the longer.

In Recent Transaction News, Yonder Alonso made his Mariners debut last night, going 1 for 5 with a single, batting in the 2-hole.  Many Yonder jokes were had by all on Twitter.

In Active Roster News, I couldn’t even begin to tell you when this started, but the Mariners are rolling with a 12-man bullpen again.  With Alonso and Valencia effectively platooning at first base, Danny Espinosa as our only utility infielder, and Leonys Martin as our fourth outfielder, the Mariners really can’t afford to go with anything less than a 4-man bench.  With 20 games left in the month – before rosters expand in September – look for the M’s to start shuttling relievers back and forth between Seattle and Tacoma.  At some point, they’re going to have to figure out how much more Erasmo Ramirez they want to see in the rotation; I think my breaking point happened about 3 years ago, but I’ll give the organization another start or two before I start taking bids from local pipe bomb makers.

Terrorism jokes are still funny in this day and age, right?