The 2017 Seattle Mariners Are The Unluckiest Team I’ve Ever Seen

I should point out the Mariners already lost before the game even started, with Paxton going on the DL and with uber-bust Mike Zunino getting sent to Tacoma (with Tuffy Gosewisch coming back to backup Carlos Ruiz).  Then, they lost to the Rangers in 13 innings, by a score of 3-1, after blowing SO MANY FUCKING SCORING OPPORTUNITIES.  And then they lost a third time when a couple more pitchers went down with injury, because this team hasn’t suffered enough.

Because this fanbase hasn’t suffered enough.

Apparently Paxton is only going to miss 2-3 starts, but I dunno.  Even if he comes back, I’m sure five more guys will go down.  When it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.

Between all of those pre-game shenanigans and the thought of a Gallardo/Darvish matchup that evening, I’ll admit, the thought of putting much effort into watching the game didn’t appeal to me.  After the Mariners got burned by replay twice in the first inning, that sealed it.  I dipped in here and there, but went to bed after Gallardo finished his sixth inning.

For anyone looking for a silver lining, you could point to Gallardo having his best performance of the season.  6 innings, 1 run, 4 hits, 2 walks, and 3 strikeouts.  He has one more impressive line than that this year, but that was in an 11-1 blowout; this was a game that was tied 1-1 after four innings, so obviously a lot more pressure.  It would remain 1-1 into the 13th inning, so another silver lining could be the bullpen.  But, again, back-to-back injuries in the 11th puts a huge damper on that.

Jean Machi has looked like the real fucking deal in his 3 appearances this week since being called up for I can’t even remember who.  Casey Fien, I guess.  But, he had to come out thanks to nerve damage in his pitching hand, causing him to be unable to grip the baseball (which, as far as pitching injuries go, seems like the worst one you can get; I mean, what does a pitcher do without hands?).  Evan Marshall was called in to replace Machi, and somehow blew out his hamstring after 2 pitches, recording no outs.  Recall he was last seen in that 19-9 disaster against Detroit, where he gave up 7 runs in 2 innings, so it’s safe to say Marshall was less tied into Mariners success this season.

Regardless, though, this shit is really starting to add up.

Last night’s game may have gone 13 innings, but it was lost in the bottom of the 10th.  Jean Segura led off with a double, and all Gamel had to do was get a fucking bunt down in fair territory.  He instead somehow managed to strike out looking, which likely would have put me in such a boiling rage (had I watched it live) that I may have died from a coronary, so probably better that I went to bed.  Cano ended up getting intentionally walked (which gave him 3 walks on the night, to go with 2 hits, including a solo homer back in the 4th), which brought us to Nelson Cruz, who flew out to center that – by all accounts – would have been deep enough to score Segura from third had Gamel done his fucking job.  Seager would ground out to end the threat, and from there it was all just a waiting game until the Rangers mashed a 2-run homer off of Emilio Pagan in the 13th to take the hard luck loss, because he was the last available reliever in the ‘pen.

Speaking of Gamel, he came up short on a fly ball down the right field line back in the first inning that – after review declared it to be fair – led to the Rangers scoring their only run in regulation.  So, in MANY ways, Gamel is the fucking goat of this game.  Thanks for nothing, dick.

And with Chase De Jong starting tonight, followed by TBD From Tacoma starting tomorrow, this weekend should prove to be as demoralizing as advertised.  Thankfully, I’ll be nowhere near a television tonight, so I won’t have to be subjected to this nonsense.

2017 Mariners Misery Tracker

  • Drew Smyly – 60 day DL
  • Steve Cishek – starts season on DL from offseason hip surgery
  • Tony Zych – starts season on DL, since returned
  • Jean Segura – On DL for 2 weeks in April
  • Mitch Haniger – On DL for approx 1 month
  • Felix Hernandez – On DL for approx 1 month
  • James Paxton – On DL for at least 10 days
  • Evan Scribner – On DL for who knows how long
  • Evan Marshall – Blew out hamstring, will miss considerable time
  • Jean Machi – nerve damage in pitching hand

And we’re only one month and one week into the season.

Mariners Overcome A Bad Bullpen To Beat The Angels

Just one night after Scott Servais made a mind-bogglingly stupid bullpen decision, he did it again.  Long story short:  Hisashi Iwakuma was rolling through five innings.  With a low pitch count, and no runs allowed, it only made sense for him to go back out for the sixth.  Then, he gave up a double to Calhoun, a homer to Trout, and a single to Pujols, and it only made sense at this point to pull him for a reliever.  In general, I trust Hisashi Iwakuma as far as I can throw him, but I REALLY distrust him the third time through a lineup (where they showed on the broadcast that he’s giving up a batting average well over .400 this season).

With a man on base and nobody out, in a game the Mariners were leading 4-2, Servais apparently thought this would be the perfect spot to introduce Emilio Pagan to his Major League debut.

I should point out that before Tuesday’s game, the Mariners made some more moves.  Casey Fien was once again DFA’d, and he once again passed through to Tacoma, where I feel like it needs to be a good, long while before he’s called back up again, because it’s getting pretty ridiculous at this point.  Also, Dan Vogelbach was optioned back to Tacoma, because he was a disaster in his brief stint in the Majors (only fuelling my fire that he’s another in a long line of first base busts for this team).  When I hear things like he’s getting down on himself for a few botched plays in the field, and that it’s carrying over into his at-bats, it leads me to believe he’s not emotionally stable or mature enough for the Majors, and likely never will be.  It’s not all going to be roses and sunshine; you’re going to have to push through some hardships!  If an error here and there is going to so devastate you, then maybe baseball’s just not your game.  I know!  Let’s have a spelling contest!

In their place, the aforementioned Emilio Pagan was called up, along with another right-handed reliever, veteran Jean Machi (to make room on the roster, Shawn O’Malley was placed on the 60-day DL).  Machi went 2 shutout innings on Tuesday, in between Diaz’s blown save and Pazos’ loss, and put in another shutout inning last night to get the win.  But, before we get to that, let’s go back to Pagan’s eventful debut.

I really want to kill Servais for putting Pagan into a situation like this, like I did yesterday when he went directly to Diaz even though he had a lefty in the ‘pen all warmed up, but I don’t know if it’s as egregious.  I mean, yeah, it’s pretty shitty to put a 26 year old rookie into a game like this, but what else was he supposed to do?  Who else was he supposed to turn to?  Dan Altavilla was sent to Tacoma, Evan Scribner is on the DL, James Pazos and Tony Zych both threw over 30 pitches the night before.  I mean, you could argue that, had Servais handled the bullpen situation correctly on Tuesday, we wouldn’t have been in such a mess on Wednesday.  Pazos likely would’ve faced just the one batter on Tuesday and would’ve had plenty of arm to go again last night.  But, with the batters coming up, I don’t know if you wanted to have a lefty reliever in there.

Still, I might’ve gone straight to Nick Vincent, who only threw two pitches on Tuesday, so you figured he had at least 2 innings in him last night.  As it turns out, that’s pretty much what he had to do anyway (1.2 innings), because Pagan could only get the one out, and that one out was a miraculous catch by Heredia robbing the Angels of a home run in left field.

Pagan gave up Iwakuma’s third run, to really sour his night, and one of his own before being pulled.  Vincent came in and surrendered a double that cost Pagan a couple more runs on the ol’ ERA, but eventually got out of the jam.  However, the damage was done, as a 4-0 lead turned into a 6-4 deficit.

The bullpen held it down after that, just long enough for the Mariners to put up a 4-spot in the bottom of the eighth inning.  With one out, Seager and Valencia singled.  Heredia’s groundout moved them up 90 feet, and Motter (pinch hitting for Zunino) walked to load the bases.  That led to Dyson’s 2-out double to right field, tying the ballgame, followed by Segura’s bouncing single through the hole between third and short to take a 2-run lead.  Edwin Diaz, this time on for just the 3-out save, gave up another homer to Kole Calhoun (his second against Diaz in as many nights), but other than hitting Trout, he struck out the side to get the save and give the Mariners a much-needed 8-7 victory.

Some people were getting on the Mariners for not doing enough on offense to this point, and in many ways I’m coming around to that thinking.  I mean, let’s face it, the way this pitching staff is going, it shouldn’t surprise anyone.  Maybe some of the injuries we wouldn’t have foreseen, but we knew coming into this season that this team’s pitching would be the weak link.  We KNEW that the offense was going to have to bring its lunch pail on many occasions like last night.  It seems like the Mariners are doing a good job, when you hear about how they’re near the top in the A.L. in runs scored, but a lot of the reason for that is due to blowouts.  8-0 and 11-1 victories are nice and all, but this team is going to need a hearty collection of 8-7 wins if it’s going to try to stay in contention.

At this point, I’d gladly settle for being a .500 ballclub by the time the month of May comes to a close.  That means going 16-12.  Obviously, playing .500 ball isn’t going to get you in the post-season, but it buys the Mariners some time until guys can start getting healthy again.  If we can scratch and claw our way to .500 by the time Felix and Haniger come back, it would set us up for a nice stretch of games in June and July.  The Mariners are REALLY going to have to get hot in the summer months if they want to crash the playoffs; between May 31 and July 30, the Mariners play 37 of 53 games at home.  It’s honestly like nothing I’ve ever seen before, and if they don’t take advantage, this season could really go sideways, as from July 31 through August 30, the Mariners are on the road for 21 of 28 before September call-ups.  I know I’m getting ahead of myself here, looking at the calendar, but I’m just trying to illustrate how important these next four weeks are.

The Mariners don’t need to destroy the month of May (though, I’d gladly accept it, of course).  They just need to win more series than they lose.  I’m not asking a lot, just a record of 16-12.  Or, rather, going forward, a record of 15-11.  Slow and steady, people!

Mariners Got They Asses Whupped By The Indians

I don’t see the point in getting all up in this game, considering I’ve written a ton about the Seahawks’ draft (set to post Monday morning, bright and early).  A day after losing a squeaker – thanks to some amazing Indians pitching after the first inning – the Mariners brought out Chase De Jong to start in place of Felix, he and our defense got rocked, and we ultimately lost 12-4.

Word is, Felix will miss a minimum of 3-4 weeks.  I don’t know what that means as far as when he can start throwing again, but if he doesn’t respond well when he does, we could be in for a long absence.

Word is, also, that Haniger will miss a minimum of 3-4 weeks, but again, I don’t know what that means for when he can start swinging a bat and such.  If he has a setback, he too could be in for an extended DL stay.

But, right now, pitching is the primary concern.  True, De Jong didn’t get a lot of help out of his defense today, with various booted balls and sun triples allowed behind him, but he also doesn’t strike me as a Major League calibre starting pitcher.  I wonder if he’ll get another crack at starting in five days, though I don’t see there being many other better options under him in the minors.

Casey Fien returned to stink up the joint; 3 runs in a third of an inning.  He needs to be DFA’d; he obviously doesn’t have it.

Dillon Overton mopped up the final 5 innings of this thing, to at least save the rest of our guys in the ‘pen.  I don’t see him supplanting De Jong just yet, or really going anywhere at this point, considering we’ll need lots of long relievers in the coming weeks, with the way this rotation has played.  While Overton didn’t really “keep us in the game” per say, giving up 3 more runs (2 earned) in his 5 innings of work (after we’d just pulled the game to within 9-4 after the top of the 6th), he ate up a bunch of innings and didn’t walk anyone, so he gets a C grade from me for today.

Cruz and Heredia continued their torrid hitting.  Segura, Gamel, Cano, and Seager all did a little bit.  Vogelbach looks completely inept at the plate (and worse in the field, letting a pop up drop in foul territory).  The fact that the Mariners have gotten exactly nothing from their catcher and first base positions is a fucking travesty (only mitigated by the fact that the young outfielders are all doing great jobs).  Boog Powell got his first Major League start (in left field) while doing nothing at the plate but ground into a double play, so we’ll see how he bounces back from that.  I wouldn’t expect him to play a lot unless we have more injuries.  He was spelling Dyson, who got a much-needed day off (pushing Heredia to center).  Considering Powell mostly just walks and slaps singles around, he’s probably more of a backup/pinch runner in late innings than anything else.

As I noted above, the Mariners had a chance to plow right back into this thing.  It was looking bleak going into the sixth, down 9-1, but the first six batters got hits, pulling the game to within 9-4 with the bases loaded and nobody out.  Taylor Motter pinch hit for Worthless Vogelbach, and I couldn’t help thinking, “If he can get a hold of one, it’s 9-8 and we’re back in this thing!  But, Motter struck out instead.  Chooch Ruiz was up next, but he lined it right at the short stop, who threw to second to pick off Kyle Seager to end the inning.  After that, the Indians put the game away in the bottom of the seventh with three more runs, and that was that.

Off-day tomorrow, then the Mariners go home to play Anaheim and Texas for six games.  As we’re STILL in last place, having a 5-1 homestand would seem to be of utmost importance.  So, get ready for a 1-5 homestand, because Mariners.

Mariners Get Much Needed Shutout Victory After The Previous Night’s Agony

Well, Game 21 was about as bad as it gets, with the 19-9 defeat, and with Felix and Haniger hitting the DL with potential lengthy-from-which-to-recover injuries to their shoulder and oblique respectively, but Game 22 was nearly the exact opposite!  Actually, I don’t know if that’s the case; I would assume the exact opposite would entail quality reinforcements RETURNING from injury, but I digress.  In Game 22, the Mariners shut out those very same Tigers 8-0.  A day after giving up 19 runs on 24 hits, the Mariners gave up 0 runs on 4 hits.  Progress!

Before the game, a grip of moves were made.  As noted, Felix and Haniger are on the DL.  In Felix’s place, Chase De Jong was called back up (which you can do this close to sending him down because there is the injury emergency) and he will get the start in place of our ace this Saturday at home against the Rangers.  YUP, you read that right: 23 year old Chase De Jong, ostensibly making the jump from AA (he has all of 3 appearances at the AAA level), whose Major League career consists of the 2 relief appearances you know and love this season in a Mariners uniform, will be making his first-ever start in the Bigs, against a hard-hitting divisional rival, in place of our #1 pitcher and potential future Hall of Famer, King Felix.  You got it!  No pressure or anything!

In place of Haniger, the Mariners called up Ben Gamel, who went 0-4 but walked in a run in his start last night.  You figure when Seager returns from his hip issue, Gamel will likely share time with Heredia and Motter in the corners, but I think he’s solidly behind both of those guys for the moment and will have to work really hard (and have a lot of success) to crack the lineup on a regular basis.

For what it’s worth, in 18 games with Tacoma this year, Gamel is hitting .288/.419/.390.  Obviously, the power is lacking, but you like that he can take a walk.  Indeed, he’s walked more than he’s struck out this year, so consider his Z C’d.

The Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich of Game 21 – Chris Heston and Evan Marshall (who gave up a combined 12 runs in 4 innings of relief) – had their asses sent back down to Tacoma to think about what they’ve done.  In their place, Dillon Overton and Casey Fien have returned, so I guess we call that a net even?  Overton, you may recall, is the lefty whose wife gave birth during the first week of the season, resulting in his absence, which led to De Jong gagging away that 13th inning in Houston as the team’s last available reliever of the night.  Overton eventually returned to the Mariners, had one good game, and one terrible game, and was sent down to Tacoma.  While in Tacoma, Overton had one great 3 inning relief appearance and one fucking awful sub-3 inning start.  So, yay?  Fien, you may recall, was with the club out of Spring Training, has appeared in 5 games, and gave up runs in 3 of them (including the 0-inning appearance in that Anaheim game where we blew the 6-run lead in the 9th, with him giving up 4 of those runs).  In Tacoma, Fien has appeared in 4 games and has given up 1 run, so yay.

Thankfully, we weren’t subjected to either of them last night, though you’d think with an 8-run lead, that’s just the sort of soft landing you’d like to give to a couple of recent call-ups whose confidence may be a little wavering.

James Paxton did the heavy lifting in this one, in case it wasn’t abundantly obvious by just looking at the starters we have left in this rotation.  7 shutout innings, making this his FOURTH appearance giving up 0 runs out of five, which is mind boggling!  Oh yeah: 4 hits, 1 walk, and 9 strikeouts, on just 103 pitches.  He is just dripping with Cy Young potential this year!

32.1 innings, 39 strikeouts, 6 walks, 21 hits, and 5 runs for a 1.39 ERA.

Nick Vincent followed, with his sixth consecutive hitless & scoreless appearance.  I just have to marvel at this guy, whose fastball isn’t anything special, but he goes out there, gets swinging strikes, keeps guys off balance, and gets the job done!  Aside from Scrabble, he’s been this team’s best reliever, and who would’ve put money down on THAT after he gave up 3 runs and 6 hits in his first three games?  Especially after Spring Training, where he looked like decomposing diaper shits!

And, Edwin Diaz came out for the 9th, because the Mariners are a fucking embarrassment and haven’t managed enough save situations to give him enough work in the early going.  Only his 7th appearance in 22 games!  I don’t want the kid’s arm to fall off or anything, but this team needs to start winning a bunch so he can get in there more often and do his thing!

The hitters really came to play in this one (just like they did the night before, when again, they scored NINE FUCKING RUNS AND LOST BY TEN), with everyone sans Gamel getting at least one hit (and, as I noted earlier, Gamel had that bases loaded walk).  Segura had 3 hits, including a double, with 2 RBI and 2 runs scored.  Heredia, in the 2-hole in place of Haniger, had 2 hits, including a 2-run homer.  Cano had a double; Cruz had 2 hits, including a 2-run homer.  Motter and Valencia each had 2 hits, including a double apiece; Zunino had a hit and a run scored; and Dyson had 2 hits, a run scored, and 2 stolen bases.  All around fantastic job for an offense that’s really starting to come together.  Once we’re able to get Seager going, watch out!

Getaway day in Detroit today with a 10am start (Pacific time), so there won’t be any Mariners to get in the way of everyone watching the first round of the NFL draft tonight.  Iwakuma vs. Verlander which strikes me as … worrisome.  Please just figure out a fucking way to win, huh?

Blowing A 5-Run Lead For The Mariners Is Child’s Play

Much like the night before, this game started off pretty promising.  The offense jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the first inning, Mike Freeman hit his first-ever Major League home run in the second inning, and Taylor Motter – the untamable beast – hit a 2-run homer in the third inning to really set things up nicely.  Yovani Gallardo was cruising along, so it should’ve been a cinch for him to go 6 innings and get that quality start.  And, from there, surely our finest bullpen arms would be able to put the game away easy peasy!

Except, starting in the fourth inning, Gallardo decided to give the whole lead away.  Two runs in the fourth & two more in the fifth made it 5-4 Mariners, but at least Gallardo got to qualify for the win!  Because that’s fucking important!  Not the fact that he clearly lost his command way back in the fourth inning and probably should’ve been pulled before he could do any more damage!

But, where would that get us?  As it was, we pulled him after five, and the bullpen STILL managed to more than give the game away.  Scrabble kept it tight in the sixth inning, but Dan Altavilla – ostensibly our best reliever after our closer – wiped away everything by giving up 3 runs in the seventh.  After that, I just turned the fucking game off.

I mean, the game was already a collosal bore, dragging on WAY too long thanks to both starters futzing around on the mound all damn day.  There was no way the Mariners were going to get that lead back.  When the dregs of the bullpen gave up 3 more runs in the eighth, let’s just say I wasn’t surprised.

The obvious point of contention is to look at the offense that didn’t do a God damn thing after the third inning.  That isn’t the way to put most teams away, let alone the Astros who are really fucking good and really have our fucking number.  But, it’s not like there were tons of opportunities.  After the third inning, the Mariners never had more than 1 baserunner in an inning, and all told spread out just three hits.

Quite frankly, this is the type of game I expected to see a lot of this season.  Crappy starting pitching followed by really sketchy bullpen pitching.  The offense did enough to win on many days, but obviously 5 runs isn’t going to cut it every time out for this pitching staff.

This thing sort of goes deeper though.  We’ve had to count on A LOT of young arms this year, less than two weeks in.  Altavilla is 24, having just made the jump from AA late last year.  Dillon Overton is 25 and has just 9 Major League appearances to his name.  Evan Marshall is 26, and has just one full Major League season under his belt.  James Pazos is 25 and had just 18 Major League appearances before this season.  Chase De Jong is just 23 and made his Major League debut in that extra innings Houston loss.  And, hell, our closer, Edwin Diaz is only 23 and is still more or less getting his feet wet as he made the jump from AA last year.  So, you know, don’t be shocked if you see these guys come up here and struggle from time to time.  Also, don’t be shocked if some or all of them ultimately flame out, because we simply don’t know how they’re going to respond when they get punched in the mouth like they’ve been recently.

Also, not for nothing, but the veterans we’ve sprinkled in around them haven’t exactly been world-beaters.  Aside from Scrabble – who’s pitched 2.1 innings in 4 appearances – we’re talking about Nick Vincent (very underwhelming), Evan Scribner (far from ideal), and Casey Fien (who was just outrighted to Tacoma to make room for Evan Marshall on the 25-man roster, and Boog Powell on the 40-man roster).

I’ll say this, the team could REALLY use Tony Zych and Steve Cishek back and healthy.

On the offensive side of things, I can’t help but be dazzled by Taylor Motter, who has 4 doubles and a homer in the last two days.  I said it before, kind of joking, but now I’m serious:  he NEEDS to be the everyday first baseman as long as he’s hitting like this.  Between him and Haniger, they’re in the early running for Biggest Pleasant Surprises (the Dae-ho Lee Award).  The longer Motter hits, the more the team is going to have to play him.  If he becomes a starter (either at first base or in the outfield), we’re going to be talking about this past offseason for many years to come.  Two very big black holes are currently being filled by Motter and Haniger, and if they continue to play well for a full season, it’s going to bode REALLY well for our chances down the stretch.

First thing’s first:  start taking care of business in the division.

Today is an off-day, which I’d say the Mariners desperately need.  Here’s to hoping this weekend goes better than last weekend.

Haniger Giveth and Haniger Taketh Away

Mostly … mostly taketh away.

There’s infinite possibilities of how that game last night could’ve gone, so who’s to say what would’ve happened if Mitch Haniger had made that diving catch in right field in the top of the 6th.  We know one thing though!  We know the Astros wouldn’t have scored 4 runs in that inning, turning a 3-2 deficit into a 6-3 lead for the bad guys!

We can also be pretty sure that we wouldn’t have seen Nick Vincent or Casey Fien, unless of course the save would have eventually been blown, but who has the time or the energy to get into all of that?

The Mariners lost.  Again.  Stop me if you heard this one before:  Ariel Miranda was cruising along until the top of the 6th inning … finish it.  I mean, he was by no means perfect, but getting through five innings, having given up only 2 runs, is pretty good for your 6th starter.  Then, in the 6th, he walked back-to-back batters before being taken out of the game, and that was that.  85 pitches thrown.  What’s up with that?  What’s up with these pitchers who tucker out well BEFORE they get to 100 pitches?  Is that what baseball is coming to?

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN???

Fielding aside, Haniger had another fine day at the plate.  He had an RBI double, scored for the 8th consecutive game, and walked 3 times!  His batting average is creeping up there, his on-base percentage if near .400, and he’s leading the team in slugging with exactly .600.  This is quite a player we’ve got our hands on.

Nominal kudos all around.  Dyson used his speed to score from first on that Haniger double.  Cano had 2 RBI.  Chooch Ruiz took a nasty hit off the arm and came around to score.

Jean Segura landed on what’s now the 10-Day DL with that hamstring issue.  I, for one, LOVE that they changed the DL from 15 days to 10, mostly because I was sick and tired of the Mariners keeping guys active even though they were hurt, and fiddling with the roster to make sure we had enough backups to survive a few days.  This way, Segura gets to rest up and fully heal, while also not missing a full 2 weeks’ worth of games.  Mike Freeman was called up and got some pinch hit duty in the 9th inning, coming around to score.

Taylor Motter started at short for Segura and was far and away the offensive star of the night.  He went 3 for 4 with 3 doubles, scoring once.  It’s going to be REALLY helpful if he can be good, because I don’t know how much more I can watch of Danny Valencia.  On top of being just the God damn worst at the plate, Valencia dropped a foul ball pop up that could’ve spared us this game lasting until almost fucking 11am.  People are praising his defense like it’s anything special and not absolutely replacement level.  In which case, how fucking terrible is Dan Vogelbach?

I’m having a hard time blaming the offense for this one.  But, again, 1 for 8 with runners in scoring position, including 1 for 4 out of Cano.

But, yeah, this one is on the defense, at least for me.  It was a tough play, but Haniger has to make that catch.  If you’re going to base your entire outfield philosophy on Defense First, then those guys have to make the defensive plays most other outfielders can’t.  They have to make the amazing, Sportscenter Top 10-type plays.  Otherwise, what are we doing here?  Yeah, it’s nice that Haniger is doing so well at the plate, but that doesn’t mean he can contribute to giving away a lead because he can’t catch a ball that hit him square in the glove!

Everyone just needs to be better, starting right now.  Also, rejoice in the fact that after tonight, we don’t have to play the fucking Astros again until late June.  Maybe by then half their roster will be dead.  Particularly the George Springer half, because fuck that guy.

The Mariners Opted To Shit All Over Opening Day With A 1-6 Road Trip

What’s the perfect capper to the worst opening week in Seattle Mariners history?  How about taking an 8-1 lead – including a 9-3 lead in the bottom of the 9th – and pissing it all away to blow a great Iwakuma start, the first really good offensive effort, and have it happen one day before the Mariners’ home opener?

Robinson Cano was the star of the day, breaking out of his slump with a 2 for 5 effort, including a 3-run homer and a 2-run bases loaded double.  But, he wasn’t the only guy on offense doing good work.  Mitch Haniger hit his third homer of the new season, Segura scored 3 runs and got his third stolen base of the year, and Carlos Ruiz had a couple hits, scoring a run and knocking one in.  The Mariners were a solid 3 for 8 with runners in scoring position and only left 3 runners on base.  I’ve had a lot of shit to say about the offense this first week, but they were absolutely NOT to blame for losing this one.

Hisashi Iwakuma also played a major part, going 6 innings, giving up just a solo homer in 89 pitches.  On the one hand, it’s a tad concerning Kuma has yet to throw more than 90 pitches in a game through two starts, but on the other hand he’s managed to go 6 innings both times while giving up 3 runs total this season.  If he’s going to do that for you on a regular basis, then I don’t think I mind keeping his arm fresh like we’ve been doing.  Of course, we’re going to need more out of our bullpen if that’s the case.

As soon as the Mariners went up 8-1 in the top of the 7th inning, Nick Vincent promptly gave up two runs in the bottom half of the inning to start the collapse.  He looked terrible as usual, and only got out of the inning because the last out got caught in a run-down between first and second after knocking the two runners in.  From there, Scrabble and Altavilla got through a scoreless 8th inning, while the M’s tacked on another run to make it a 6-run game.

No worries, then, right?  6-run lead, 3 outs to go in the game, why not bring Casey Fien in to get us through the garbage time?

Yeah, Casey Fien has to go.  As soon as Tony Zych is ready to return from his rehab assignment, Fien better be DFA’d, and in the meantime he better not show up in another fucking game unless it’s an absolute last resort.  At this point, I’d rather see any position player on the mound than Fien one more time.  Fuck that idiot.

Fien started off the 9th by giving up a solo homer to Albert Pujols.  He then walked a guy, gave up a single, and walked another guy before he was pulled, having gotten exactly zero outs.  Needless to say, all of those guys would go on to score.

With the game still 9-4, with the bases loaded (now technically a save situation), the Mariners had to scramble to get Edwin Diaz in the game.  I don’t know if he would ever give this as an excuse for his own poor outing, but I hardly think he had enough time to sufficiently warm up his arm prior to getting thrown in the fire.  Diaz induced a ground ball out that scored a run, 9-5.  He struck out the next guy, 1 out remaining in the game.  Then, Diaz went completely off the rails.  A double scored two, 9-7.  Two walks loaded the bases.  Then, Albert Pujols returned, this time to slap a game-tying single to right.  The final pitch Diaz threw went off the wall in right center to put everyone out of their misery.

I just don’t know what to say after a game like that.  I don’t even know what to say after a week like that!  Way to suck all the life out of Opening Day – today at 2pm – by starting off the season 1-6!  Even if this was just an ordinary year, we’d be talking about fans jumping into a pit of hot lava just to get the hell off of the bandwagon, but this is the year we’re supposed to be going back to the post-season!  On paper, we’re talking about the best team we’ve had around here since probably 2003, and you go out and shit all over everything by losing 6 of your first 7 games?  How are you going to get asses in the seats this season?  How are you going to keep fan interest alive when you’re COLOSALLY FUCKING THIS UP, DUDE!?

This year’s motto is “Whatever It Takes”.  Apparently, that’s short for, “Whatever It Takes To Make Our Fans Miserable”.

What Are You Supposed To Do With A Mariners Offense Playing Like This?

At some point this week, I decided I’d take it upon myself to post a recap of all the Mariners games, even on *shudder* the weekends.  Someone needs to slap some sense into me, preferably with a couple of perky C’s.

I don’t know what to tell you.  5 hits in a 5-1 defeat to the thoroughly unimpressive Angels.  1 for 7 with runners in scoring position, another 7 left on base.  I mean, what is this?  Is this Spring Training fatigue?  The fact that these guys have been away from home for so long, and now the MLB schedule-makers have tacked on an extra 7 days to this living nightmare?  Will a simple matter of some home cooking turn this thing around?

God, I hope it doesn’t take that long.  Going 1-6 in your first week isn’t an insurmountable mountain to climb, but it sure as shit makes life unnecessarily difficult.

I mean, it’s one thing to see Kyle Seager struggle in the early going; we’ve come to expect that at this point.  And we all knew the outfield would be a bit of a depressing mixed bag at the plate (currently hitting a collective 8 for 59 (.136) with 5 walks, 2 doubles, 1 homer, and 18 strikeouts).  But, I think what’s most alarming is the funk that Cano and Cruz have been in through 5 games.

Those are our rocks!  Our studs!  Our superstars!  6 hits in 39 at-bats (.154) with 2 doubles, 0 homers, 1 RBI, 5 walks, and a whopping 13 strikeouts.  I know 5 games is a small sample size and everything, but come on!

Really, you can go up and down the lineup and pull these lunatic numbers that make you wonder just what sort of fresh hell we’re in for this season, so I won’t bombard you with all the misery.  I will say that I have no problem with Segura so far; I like that Seager has at least taken the most walks on the team to feature the highest OBP (.364), even though he’s only batting .125; and I’m starting to come around to Mitch Haniger (who leads the team in extra-base hits with 2) mostly because he seems to also have a good command of the strike zone with a .333 OBP.

As far as last night’s game is concerned, we got our first look at Yovani Gallardo.  I came away not totally sick to my stomach!  Granted, he went 5 innings and gave up 3 runs (being pulled in the bottom of the 6th with no outs after giving up a solo homer and a hard-hit single) while only throwing 90 pitches, but there were issues outside of his control that severely altered the course of the game for him.

In the bottom of the first, Gallardo gave up a leadoff single, followed by an ever-so-unfortunate double to Kole Calhoun (opposite field, against the outfield shift, just BARELY touching the chalk of the left field foul line before bouncing into the stands).  If that ball lands foul, who knows where the inning takes him?  Even still, with no outs and runners on 2nd & 3rd, he only gave up a sac fly to Mike Trout before getting out of the inning.

Then, in the bottom of the third, disaster.  A couple of singles and a strikeout preceeded Trout coming to bat.  After spotting him a 3-0 count, the Mariners intentionally walked him to get to Albert Pujols with 1 out and the bases loaded.  Pujols obliged about as well as you could ask for with a weak grounder right at Kyle Seager.  It was a tailor-made double play ball to get out of the inning still down 1-0.  Instead, Seager totally biffed it, allowing a run to score with the bases still loaded.  I couldn’t tell you how many pitches that cost Gallardo in his pitch count, but he ended up striking out the very next batter before getting out of the bases loaded jam with a ground ball to third.

And you may say, “Well, his pitch count stalled at 90 anyway, so it’s not like he was THAT over-worked,” but I’ll say this:  pitches in high-pressure situations like that, with the bases loaded and less than 2 outs, count A LOT more than pitches with nobody on base.  Sure, it was mostly his doing that got the bases loaded in the first place, but in the end, he induced a ground ball that should’ve been a double play and instead was a fielder’s choice/error that got no one out.  That’s not on Gallardo.

All in all, I thought Gallardo looked okay.  I saw him touch 94mph on the gun, he was usually in the lower 90s with his fastball, and he was able to work both up and down in the zone to pretty solid effect.  I mean, he’s never going to be anything amazing, but he’s a veteran 5th starter, so a lot of his starts are going to look like this.  He’s going to spread around a bunch of hits, hopefully not walk too many, and usually keep you in enough ballgames to justify his roster spot.  Think of a Kevin Millwood or a Chris Young type moreso than a Wade Miley or a Joe Saunders type.  At least, that’s my hope.

Casey Fien looked pretty good in his first inning of relief, then gave up a 2-run homer in his second inning of relief.  But, he’s not really a guy you’re going to count on in the 8th inning of a game you’re winning; he’s a guy you’re going to see in games like this, where we’re losing but hoping he can keep it close enough for us to come back.  I think the jury is still out on him, but I also don’t see him going anywhere anytime soon, even with Tony Zych set to rejoin the Mariners at some point in the next week or two.

Finally, Dillon Overton got his first inning of relief in the soft landing we unfortunately couldn’t give to Chase De Jong.  Overton gave up a meaningless single and netted 2 strikeouts, but I couldn’t tell you how he looked because I turned off the TV after that 2-run homer Fien gave up.

Felix Day today.  Let’s hope he doesn’t have to cover first base.

The Astros Are Better Than The Mariners At Baseball

If you learn one thing from this series, it’s that the Astros are destined for greatness and the Mariners are destined for something … less than.  You can tell me it’s early all you want, but this is a great Astros team, and they’re not even playing all that well right now!  Altuve has yet to do anything, the rest of their lineup has been spotty at best, and yet they’ve still been able to demolish the Mariners through three games, with the fourth coming tonight.  Just imagine what this team is going to look like when all elements are firing.

The enraging thing – the thing that’s bound to prove my point even further – is going to be when the Mariners sweep the Angels this weekend and everyone will say, “See!  Nothing to worry about!  It was just one series in early April!  These games CLEARLY don’t matter as much as the games in September!”  And for a while, people will relax, because it’ll look like the Mariners are back on track.  Except, here’s the thing:  I never said the Mariners are terrible; I just said that the Astros are really fucking good and there’s no way we’re going to top them this season, short of the Astros suffering a slew of key injuries while the Mariners from this day forward remain relatively healthy.

This series is the fork in our division-winning hopes.  The Mariners are simply worse than the Astros, and quite frankly they have been since the Astros joined the A.L. West.  Even when the Astros were fucking God awful, they were still better than the Mariners.  It is our cross to bear.

So, now we know, with 159 games to play, it’s Wild Card or Bust.  I just hope there aren’t many more teams like the Astros on the schedule to give us fits.  If we can’t figure out a way to win some divisional games – thank you Unbalanced Schedule – not even the Wild Card will be on the table.

Last night’s game might have changed my mind, had the Mariners scratched out the win, but instead it only reinforces my resolve that the Astros are the better team.  We had everything going for us in that game, and by “everything” I mean James Paxton.  He looked fucking phenomenal in throwing six shutout innings, while giving up 2 hits, walking 1, and striking out 5.  If he’d only been able to keep his pitch count under control, this really should’ve been a 7- or 8-inning performance.  But, it’s his first start of the season, so stopping him at 100 pitches is the right thing to do.

I’ll tell ya, though, Paxton was something else.  He was pounding the inside corner of the plate like I’ve never seen!   The Astros had, what I distinctly remember as an all-right handed lineup, and Paxton didn’t bat an eye!  He even managed to power through some of those unlucky Paxton-esque moments without allowing a run to score; like in the second inning, when a 1-out walk managed to reach third base on an out and a wild pitch; or when Springer reached on a strikeout in the dirt and advanced to third base on a double (he had to get through Altuve and Correa to get out of that jam unscathed!).  These are the kinds of minor inconveniences that – in the past – would somehow come around to destroy a Paxton start.  But, last night, he locked those shits down!

(of course, that isn’t to say those types of things won’t ruin him in future starts, but this was an encouraging way to bring in the new season for a guy known for his inconsistency)

The Mariners managed to not only score a run with a hit out of the infield, but they hit their first homer of the season!  Jean Segura hit an opposite-field 2-run homer that was remarkable in the way it kept carrying.  For such a little guy, he has a surprising amount of power.  On top of that, it was the Mariners’ first lead of the season!

It didn’t last long.

As I noted above, Paxton was finished after six innings, but the Mariners went right to their best set-up man, Evan Scribner … who promptly gave up back-to-back hits and was pulled for Scrabble (our next-best set-up man), who did his job and got the first out of the 7th inning.  That brought us to Dan Altavilla (our third-best set-up man), who gave up a single to load the bases and a double to tie the ballgame.  He ended up getting out of the jam after that with the tie intact, but the blown save damage was done.

From there, it was a comedy of poor clutch hitting through the 12th inning.  Pazos was brought in, even though their entire lineup was right-handed.  He gave up two hits before being pulled.  Casey Fien cleaned up the mess without incident.  Then, Edwin Diaz got his first action of the season, and was forced to go two scoreless innings as we plowed into extras.  That brought us to Nick Vincent, who somehow pitched out of a Runner On Third With Less Than Two Outs jam (of his own creation) and ended up going two more scoreless innings.

At that point, the only reliever left was Chase De Jong.  The Mariners, in the 13th inning, managed to eke out a run on four consecutive walks with nobody out, but could not play add-on, and thus you know how this game concluded.  With a tenuous 3-2 lead, Chase De Jong – who was making his Major League debut, who has all of 1 appearance in AAA (i.e. who was – for all intents and purposes – making the leap from AA to the Majors) – got one quick out, walked the next batter, induced the following batter to foul out, and gave up an opposite-field single to Nori Aoki.

That was the game.  It wasn’t the subsequent 3-run homer by George Springer; it was letting that snake in the grass Aoki, in the 9-hole, weasel his way on base to turn the lineup over.  You get Aoki, you win the game, you get your first career save, and they’re showering you with the Champagne of Beers in the locker room.  Instead, you leave one out over the plate, it gets crushed, and you’re living in your own personal Hell.  Welcome to the Big Leagues, son.

(also, not for nothing, but does this happen if Dillon Overton’s wife doesn’t have that kid this week?  Is it too much to ask to get the C-section a week early?  Okay, I’m horrible, I’ll move on)

I mean, what can you say?  I can’t get angry at De Jong; that’s an impossible situation to enter into as your Major League debut!  Yeah, it’s his fault, but it’s not really his fault.  He probably shouldn’t even be up here in the first place.  In a perfect world, Drew Smyly is healthy and Ariel Miranda is the 8th man in the bullpen.  But, I can’t even blame our own bad luck, because this offense is SERIOUSLY shitting the bed like I haven’t seen since 2010.  Except it’s a million times worse, because whereas the 2010 M’s had shitty hitters, the 2017 M’s have really good ones!  And they’re doing JACK SHIT right now.

Take a look at the blown scoring opportunities in this game alone:

  • 1st Inning – Haniger at 2nd with 1 out; Cano strikes out, Cruz grounds out
  • 2nd Inning – Zunino doubles with 2 outs; Dyson pops it up to the short stop
  • 4th Inning – Cruz leadoff double; stranded at second
  • 7th Inning – Martin walked & stole 2nd with 1 out; stranded at second again
  • 12th Inning – Dyson singled & stole 2nd with 1 out; stranded
  • 13th Inning – 4 walks to lead off the inning & score the go-ahead run; Valencia fly out, Zunino strikeout, Dyson strikeout

That’s just unforgivable.  The pitching this series hasn’t been perfect – not like it needs to be, apparently – but it’s been BEYOND good enough.  It’s even more aggravating because you know the pitching isn’t going to stay this good over the long haul.  We’re fucking SQUANDERING games that we should be winning!  And don’t tell me it’s early, because a loss is a loss is a loss; they all count the same fucking way regardless of whether they’re in April or September, so fuck off with that nonsense.

0-3 as we head into the next two days with our worst two starters.  Oh, this should be fun.

The Mariners Somehow Made Opening Day Feel Like The Dog Days Of August

What a God damned wretched experience last night was.  I saw my first-ever NCAA bracket contest championships wither and die along with Gonzaga’s dreams and the concept of good refereeing.  And, as an appetizer, I got to watch the Mariners stink up the joint for almost three hours.

For starters, what the hell happened to the Mariners opening up every season against the Oakland A’s?  While it rarely made for exciting baseball, you could at least count on a win for the good guys!  The last two years, we’ve opened up with games against Texas and Houston and have seen our Opening Day winning percentage suffer accordingly.

It seems particularly cruel to have the Mariners start in Houston of all places, where we traditionally play like warm, pureed garbage.  It’s like Major League Baseball wanted to deflate all of our hopes like so many New England Patriots footballs, before the season even truly started.

Dallas Keuchel looked like his usual, dominant self.  I’m always amazed when it’s pointed out that the Mariners actually HAVE had some success against that guy; I seem to only remember the times he’s absolutely murdered us.  The Mariners only had one opportunity to get to him, and a poor choice in our lineup’s construction saw to it we wouldn’t capitalize.

In the 4th inning, Cano, Cruz, and Valencia loaded the bases with two outs, on a single and a couple of walks.  I was okay with the lineup 1-6, with Valencia batting behind Seager in that 6-hole.  Where I have the problem is batting Leonys Martin 7th, ahead of Mike Zunino.  I understand the allure of having Zunino’s power so low in the lineup, combined with the desire to limit the pressure on him at the plate by having him near the bottom, but Leonys Martin is a hot fucking mess at the plate.  On top of that, he’s a lefty trying to do SOMETHING against the likes of Dallas Fucking Keuchel.  There’s something to be said for going lefty-righty-lefty in your lineup, but not with the 7-8-9 hitters!

We had the bases loaded with 2 outs and a left-handed hitter coming to the plate.  Martin, as is his wont, swung at the first pitch and grounded out to second base, because of course he did.  Now, imagine that same scenario with Zunino up there and the bases loaded!  Granted, he also went hitless yesterday, so maybe he too would’ve grounded out to end the inning.  But, I have a shitload more confidence in Zunino against Keuchel than I do Martin against Keuchel.  You should be stacking the lineup with as many right handed hitters in a row against a guy like Keuchel!  STOP FUCKING AROUND, SERVAIS!  This year is too fucking important for your shenanigans!

If it looks like I’m in Panicky Mariners Fan midseason form, that’s because this game had the feel of every midseason Mariners game you’ve ever seen in the last 10+ years.  Three hits, four walks, seven runners left on base, hitless with runners in scoring position; Felix struggling against the Astros, Felix leaving the game with a groin injury while trying to cover first base on a grounder to Valencia …

Speaking of which, I’m at the point now where I’m ready to let those go as infield hits, rather than have the King run to first base, because it seems like damn near EVERY FUCKING TIME he walks away from that play limping!

The only other scoring opportunity the Mariners saw was in the 8th inning, down 3-0, against reliever Luke Gregerson.  After two quick outs, Dyson and Segura got on base and advanced on a wild pitch.  With runners on 2nd & 3rd, Cano stepped up to the plate and worked the count in his favor.  He was one pitch away from working a walk to load the bases for Cruz, but he saw a pitch he liked and he roped it on a line to right field, right at the right fielder for the final out of the inning.  The Astros would bring in a fireballer to close it out and make almost all of the 9th inning batters look like idiots, and that was the end of it.

I’ll hop right into the random observations.

I thought Felix looked okay.  The first homer he gave up, to the first batter of the game, was a mistake plain and simple, right in the middle of the plate.  The other homer was hit on a good pitch, up and in, off the plate.  He didn’t walk anyone, and he struck out six guys, including Altuve twice!  Obviously, the groin issue is a concern, and will probably be something he has to deal with all season – until it finally forces him onto the DL – as I’m sure he’ll re-aggravate it every time he has to cover first base, so that sucks.  Short of that, I thought he had a couple more good innings left in him easy.

I think the Mariners, and the broadcast team in particular, are putting WAY too much pressure on Mitch Haniger.  Yeah, his Spring Training was fantastic, but he’s still someone who has yet to have any Major League success whatsoever.  Why don’t we let him get some at bats under his belt before we start calling him The Prize Of Our Offseason Acquisitions, or whatever the hell it was Dave Sims was trying to say last night.  Jesus Christ, if he isn’t the guy who mows down Spring Training only to turn back into a pumpkin come the regular season, I don’t know who is!

Good on Jean Segura for getting a couple hits!  He’s your real prize of the offseason, you mope!

It would be ideal for Jarrod Dyson to start getting hits off of lefties, so we can just leave him at the top of our lineup, push Martin down to 9th, and Haniger down to 7th or 8th, but I don’t know if that’s ever going to happen.

Nick Vincent struggled.  Get ready to say that a lot this year.

James Pazos looked good!  I hope he’s able to stick around for a while; I like what I saw.

I don’t know if I’m as excited about Casey Fien.  He looked all right, I guess, but boy is he coming off of a down year.  Also, not sure if I saw much of an out-pitch out of him, but then again, with how aggressive the Astros are, he only had to throw 8 pitches.

Three more games in this Houston series.  I feel like best case scenario is a 2-2 split.  I also feel like we might come out on the short end of that stick.