Seattle “One Out Of Three Ain’t Bad” Mariners Avoid Boston Sweep

Considering the Mariners are winning road games at a 31% clip, one out of three is actually an improvement!

Christian Bergman – with his 7 shutout innings, giving up 4 hits and 2 walks, with 2 strikeouts – goes right to the top of my list of most baffling Mariners currently on the 25-man roster.  He had a very similar outing two starts ago, when he got one out into the eighth inning of a shutout victory.  These two starts, of course, are the slices of bread in the shit sandwhich that was his game in Washington, where he gave up 10 runs in 4 innings, in what has to be one of the worst starts of the year across Major League Baseball.

So, what’s the deal?  Is this guy a fantastic, double-play-inducing machine?  Or is he the guy who got pounded like a nerd on the playground?  He’s not just putting up zeroes against the dregs of the league; the Red Sox are a fantastic hitting bunch.  I guess, for now, we shrug our shoulders and exclaim Small Sample Size!  I have a hard time imagining a truly great pitcher would ever succumb to giving up 10 runs in 4 innings, but maybe it was just a fluke.  As always, we’ll need to see more starts out of him before we can make an informed decision.

Still, it’s nice to think that maybe he could be some semblance of the real deal with Bill McNeal.  Considering it’s highly in doubt that we ever get Drew Smyly back; Bergman may indeed be our only ticket to getting rid of Yovani Gallardo, if/when we get the rest of our rotation back and healthy.

The Mariners were finally worth a damn offensively, generating five runs on 16 hits.  We made reigning Cy Young Award winner Rick Porcello work for his 6.1 innings, getting just two runs out of him.  And, we kept the string going through Boston’s bullpen.  Everyone in the Mariners lineup had at least one hit, with Cano, Cruz, Heredia, and Segura doing the bulk of the damage; not to mention the three hits from Chooch.

It was a sight for sore eyes, for sure.  Lots of hits, lots of runs, and the Mariners actually left a lot on the table.  Let’s hope they can parlay that into being relevant against the Rockies.  Four games, with 2 in Colorado (starting today) and 2 in Seattle (starting Wednesday).

Also, in You Guessed It, More Mariners Roster Moves news, Ryne Harper was called up as another reliever, taking the spot of Rob Whalen.  Harper has yet to make a Major League appearance, but his numbers in the minors look VERY encouraging.  Harper was acquired in an under-the-radar trade with the Braves for Jose Ramirez, another relief pitcher who was out of options and was apparently not in our future plans (in spite of him putting up some really solid seasons with the Braves last year and this).  Here’s to hoping Harper has the higher upside.

Another Day, Another Garbage Yovani Gallardo Start

When the chips are down, you find out who the fighters are and who are the wastes of fucking life.

I have a lot of respect for a lot of guys on the Mariners right now.  Shit is REAL bad, but these guys are going out there and getting the job done.  Jean Segura, Nelson Cruz, Robinson Cano, Kyle Seager.  Hell, Danny Valencia started off the season as a wreck, and look at how he’s built up his numbers!  Heredia and Gamel have stepped up in a major way – even if they’ve cooled off over the last couple weeks – in the wake of Leonys Martin being sent to Tacoma and Mitch Haniger spending so much time on the DL.

On the pitching side of things, obviously we’re talking about the bulk of our hardships here.  But, I can’t say enough about how Ariel Miranda has stepped his game up this season.  He’s gone from a guy who’s good one day, bad the next, and he’s morphed into a guy who is consistently keeping the Mariners in more games than not.  The Mariners are 6-4 in his starts this season, and you could argue two of those losses were very much on the offense not getting it done.

In the bullpen, it’s been a disaster, but there are a few bright spots.  Scrabble, Zych, Vincent, and Pazos have all stepped up in a major way this season.

The point is, there are a lot of fighters on this Mariners team.  I wouldn’t say they’re able to keep the Mariners afloat – as we’re now 7 games under .500 with yesterday’s 3-0 defeat – but they’re at the very least slowing down the drowning somewhat.

Then, there’s Yovani Gallardo.  He’s been a burr in my fucking saddle pretty much since the day we (ugh) traded Seth Smith for him.  And, look, I understood the rationale then and I understand the rationale now:  Seth Smith is, at best, a platoon outfielder with very limited defensive skills, while the Mariners had a need for a veteran, back-of-the-rotation starter.  But, while Seth Smith is over in Baltimore doing Seth Smith things (10 extra base hits in 105 at bats, with an okay batting average, a great on-base percentage, and he’s already matched his 2016 WAR in under two months, while dealing with some nagging injuries), Yovani Gallardo is just the God damned worst.

As has been beaten into the ground, the Mariners are struggling with injuries.  Per my opening sentence:  the chips are fucking DOWN!  A bunch of guys on this team are TRYING to keep things in check until some of our injured guys return, and hats off to them.  But, here you’ve got an 11-year veteran starting pitcher who is the only man standing from this organization’s intended starting rotation coming into the season, and sure, he’s lost a bit of his skills over that long career.  But, I dunno, it seems like he should be doing more.  It seems like a guy who has kicked around the Majors for this long would have enough tricks up his sleeve to step up when things are at their worst.  I mean, shit man, you’re easily the most veteran healthy pitcher on this roster right now!  The Mariners are a VERY young team, particularly on the pitching side, they’re looking to YOU to set the fucking example!

And the best you can give is a 5.76 ERA?  The best you can do last night is 5.1 innings of 3-run ball, giving up 7 hits and a whopping 6 walks?!  That on the back of a 10-run outing the last time out, against the White Sox?  People shouldn’t have to fall all over themselves sucking your dick just because you occasionally get into the 7th inning, while still giving up 3 runs!  The Mariners are 3-7 in Gallardo’s starts this year, and that’s just pathetic.  If the Mariners weren’t so fucking decimated by injuries, Gallardo should’ve been DFA’d WEEKS ago!

Sure, you could make the argument that the Mariners’ offense hasn’t showed up in a lot of those defeats (a la last night’s shutout), but I’d counter that with the fact that Gallardo has consistently stunk early in games.  He has a 9.00 ERA in the first innings of his starts!  Over a quarter of all his runs allowed have come in the first!  27 of his 35 earned runs have come in the first four innings!  That’s not keeping your team in the game!  That’s digging them a huge hole they’ve got to dig their way out of against the bullpens of the league!

The fact of the matter is, the Mariners – right now – need more than what Gallardo is giving them.  He’s a worthless lump and I can’t wait until I never have to be subjected to one of his starts ever again.  If the offense is slumping, then guess what:  a GOOD pitcher steps up and helps his team!  He doesn’t consistently average 5 innings and 3 runs a game.  NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  He’s hurting this bullpen, he’s hurting the win/loss record of the team, and he’s demoralizing an offense that has to always score 6+ runs in his starts just to have a CHANCE to win.

Fuck Yovani Gallardo.

Fancy That: The Mariners Stopped The Losing Streak Behind Solid Pitching & Timely Hitting

Alternate title:  The Mariners Won A Baseball Game By Scoring More Runs Than Their Opponent

They bumped the series finale against the Nationals up to the early morning Pacific time so they could avoid an impending rainstorm and get the whole game in.  While most of us were hoping for a rainout, if for no other reason than to stave off another defeat, the Mariners shocked the world by being semi-competent.

Ariel Miranda managed a workmanlike 5 innings, giving up 2 runs in that fifth to give the Nationals a 2-0 lead.  In the top of the sixth, Nelson Cruz jacked a 3-run home run to give the Mariners a lead, and Scott Servais proceeded to stop fucking around.  He went immediately to our good bullpen guys in hopes of locking down the first Mariners victory in a week.

Zych worked a scoreless sixth, Pazos worked a scoreless seventh, Vincent & Scrabble worked a scoreless eighth, and Edwin Diaz reclaimed his closing duties on the strength of TWO WHOLE ADEQUATE PERFORMANCES, and somewhere in there the Mariners added an insurance run to give the Mariners a 4-2 victory.

The top of the order really did the heavy lifting in this one.  Segura had a couple hits and a run; Cano had two more hits, an RBI, and a run; Cruz (getting his second start in right field) had the aforementioned 3-run homer; and Seager and Valencia each had a hit to round it out.

There are no take-aways from this one.  The Mariners got a win in a game featuring their best healthy starting pitcher; it’s as simple as that.  This isn’t the start of a great turnaround, it’s just a random win, because in baseball it’s impossible to literally lose every single game.  Hell, even Charlie Brown’s team had a win or two!

The Mariners are still a game out of last place (tied in the loss column) in the entire American League, five games out of the second Wild Card, and 11 games behind the Astros in the A.L. West.

In a shocking development, the Mariners went a whole day without making a Big League roster move, so that’s something.  With all these injuries and shuttling of players, it feels like we’re just wrapping up our fourth month of Spring Training for Christ’s sake.

This weekend, the Mariners go to Boston for three games.  It would be nice to pick up some games on the team that’s currently holding the second Wild Card spot, but wish in one hand and shit in the other, you know?  I just hope no other important people go on the DL between now and Monday.

On the Mike Zunino front, in his three games since being called back up from Tacoma, he has one hit (a homer) and 7 strikeouts in 11 at bats.  I just … I could NOT be more disappointed.  Y U MAKE ME LONG FOR THE RETURN OF TUFFY???

Mariners Lose (A Lot) to 1, For The Fifth Straight Game

I don’t know what to tell you.  The fans are demoralized.  The players are demoralized.  The coaches are demoralized.  The Mariners are a half game out of last place in the entire American League.  With the collection of hitting talent on this team, that’s not supposed to happen.  But, that IS what happens when you run out a AAA pitching staff.  That’s what happens when you gut your farm system on the way out the door (Jackie Z) trying to save your own job.  That’s what happens when you continuously rob Peter (pitching) to pay Paul (hitting), because you fail time and time and time again to field a legitimate Major League lineup.

This isn’t a This Year issue.  This isn’t really even a Jerry Dipoto problem.  It’s ingrained.  It’s longstanding.  It’s institutional.

This dates back to 2015, 2008, 2004, 2000, 1998, 1996, all the way back to the start of the franchise.  The Mariners are who we thought they were.  They’ve always been the caretaker at the Overlook Hotel.

A Jean Segura throwing error in yesterday’s game helped lead to 4 unearned runs in the bottom of the first inning.  A fleeting 1-0 Mariners lead in the top of the first became a 5-1 deficit after the second inning add-on RBI by the Nationals; the score would remain unchanged to the bitter end.

Be honest:  when the Mariners took that 1-0 lead, how many of you thought, “Well, the Mariners got their 1 run; I guess they’re done now!”  Because, that’s exactly what I thought.

On the plus side, Cano had three hits, Heredia had two hits, and a smattering of hits up and down the lineup, but of course the team was only 1 for 7 with RISP.  That’s not going to get you more than one run a game very often.

In Everyday I’m Shufflin’ … Players Between Seattle & Tacoma news:  Emilio Pagan was rewarded for his 4 shutout innings of relief of Christian Bergman the day before by being sent back down, with Rob Whalen getting the call-up.  He could be a long reliever, or he could be a spot starter as we continue to wait for Paxton’s return.  Yay.

Morning game today, unless it gets rained out.  At this point, I’m praying for rain outs for the next month, if that’s possible.  However long it takes until guys start coming back.

Mariners Bullpen Blows It, Offense Walks It Off In The Ninth

Yeah, I don’t care, I’m bringing back the phrase Walk Off, even if the winning team doesn’t walk in the winning run!  COME AT ME BRO!

Sam Gaviglio got the start yesterday, and like Christian Bergman the day before, he was greatly effective.  Five shutout innings, on 3 hits and 1 walk, with 2 strikeouts.  Considering it sounds like he wasn’t TOTALLY stretched out – I kept hearing about how the Mariners were only expecting to get four innings out of him – that was quite the amazing performance.  Once again, someone else who has leapfrogged Chase De Jong on my Chase De Jong scale.

The Mariners’ offense did some work early, with Dyson pulling a solo homer in the third, and with Segura jacking a 3-run homer in the bottom of the fifth.  They turned things over to the bullpen with a 4-0 lead, and I dunno, maybe I’m shortsighted.  I figured a day after Bergman spun his magic, and Pazos cleaned up after him, we’d have a more available bullpen with which to work.  But, apparently the plan was to get whatever they could out of Gaviglio, and then immediately turn the ball over to Casey Lawrence for something resembling long relief.

I would argue, once you get five innings out of the 10th starter you’ve used this season, and once your offense gives you a 4-0 lead, you don’t mess around.  By all means!  Use Casey Lawrence!  You brought him into the organization, you called him up, it’s the least you can do.  When you’ve got four full innings of relief to spread around, the bottom man in the bullpen is good enough to throw in there in the sixth inning.  And, to his credit, Casey Lawrence did a fine job.  Other than an infield single, he got the White Sox out in order.  Bingo bango bongo.

So, WHY would you bring him back out for the seventh???

Double to left, homer to left, 4-2 Mariners.  I don’t get it.  Everybody should’ve been fresh-enough!  You go one inning per reliever, use up four relievers, and you worry about Friday on FRIDAY!

Thankfully, Lawrence was able to settle down and finish out the seventh, but it could’ve gotten REALLY hairy there if he didn’t.  At that point, still with the 2-run lead going into the eighth, I was at least moderately confident we could get this thing to the ninth with a lead.

WRONG.

I don’t really blame Servais for using Altavilla in this spot, though I understand if you do.  He was coming off of a real bonzer outing two days earlier, but before that he’s been inconsistent as the day is long.  In gratitude for Servais’ confidence in him, Altavilla got the first two outs of the inning, then gave up back-to-back solo homers to tie the game.  Just brutal.

But, you know, what can you do?  Edwin Diaz was just demoted and is working on his mechanics; I think they’re looking for a softer landing for him than eighth inning set up man.  Steve Cishek just came off the DL and he too just blew a game recently.  Tony Zych is apparently also being handled with kid gloves.  Even though he was used three straight days from May 13th through the 15th, I guess he needs three full days off to recover?  I dunno.

What I do know is that it was pretty clear they were saving Nick Vincent for the ninth.  With Overton being saved for Sunday in all likelihood, that only left Scrabble as a possible eighth inning guy, but there were a bunch of right-handed bats coming up that inning, so Altavilla was the guy.  Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just telling you my theory on this whole thing.

Still doesn’t totally forgive putting Lawrence out there for a second inning, because that guy was already terrible when we got him, and it’s not like joining the Mariners is going to magically fix all his issues.

Anyway, Vincent got through the ninth inning without incident, and there we were, the bottom of the ninth.  I was tired, hoping to get to sleep in the near future; I’m sure the Mariners were tired; it was a long, cold night.  The bottom of the order got things going.

Taylor Motter’s leadoff single was erased by a subpar sac bunt by Dyson, but in a way if you had to choose who you want standing on first, you certainly would rather have Dyson there via the fielder’s choice.  Obviously, in an ideal world, the bunt would’ve worked and they both would’ve been safe, but that’s neither here nor there.  Unfortunately, with a lefty on the mound, Dyson couldn’t steal second.  He did run on a 3-2 count to Ruiz, who grounded out, thus allowing Dyson to advance to second.  With two outs, they walked Jean Segura, because that guy is a machine; plus I’m sure they liked the lefty/lefty matchup with Gamel coming to the plate.

Except, Guillermo Heredia was still on the bench (getting a rest day, with Boog Powell getting the start), so he came out to pinch hit.  Blowers noted that the White Sox had a righty warming up in the bullpen, so I figured it was academic:  they’d bring him in to face Heredia, and we’d go from there.

Instead, they left the lefty in there, Heredia knocked a single to right-center, and Dyson came flying around to score the WALK OFF run.  Just like Servais drew it up, right?

All in all, a nice little win for a desperate team.

In Injuries Rule Our Lives news, Paxton, Felix, Kuma, and Smyly all threw baseballs this week.  Paxton actually threw a legit bullpen, and is looking to do a rehab start in the near future.  Mitch Haniger is setting out for a rehab assignment of his own this weekend, with the hope that maybe he’ll be able to return during the next road trip.  As always, I’ll believe it when I see it.

The Mariners Won Their First Non-Paxton Shutout Of The Season

It’s true.  The Mariners have won four shutouts this season; the first three of them were on the arm of James Paxton.  Yesterday?  The pitcher of record was … Christian Bergman?

This was Bergman’s third appearance for the Mariners this season.  In his first outing, he piggy-backed on a Dillon Overton start, outshining the lefty by going 3.2 innings, giving up just 1 run.  He got the start five days later against Toronto in a losing effort, going 5 innings and giving up 3 runs (in a game where the Mariners were shut out).  So, you’ll be forgiven if you didn’t really know what to expect out of him against the A’s last night.  Of the mediocre Quad-A starters/long relievers the Mariners have employed this season (De Jong, Overton, Weber, Marshall, and Heston), Bergman has looked the most reliably effective.  But, again, VERY small sample size.

Regardless, I don’t think anyone expected Bergman to go 7.1 innings of shutout ball, giving up 2 hits, 2 walks, and striking out 9.  Those are elite starter’s numbers by a guy whose fastball is Jamie Moyer-esque!

I won’t say “the pressure was on” or anything ridiculous like that, because all of these games are equally meaningful (in spite of the fact that they feel less important with each passing Mariners defeat), but I will say that he picked a great time to have the best game of his career.  I know I keep harping on the 8-man bullpen thing, but those guys have been seriously over-worked lately!  You wouldn’t think it’d be possible, but you also have to take into account the fact that the Mariners have to hold back some of these long relievers so they can be spot starters later (when the next injury inevitably crops up), so it’s not like the Mariners actually have an 8-man ‘pen at all.  So, for Bergman to pitch into the eighth inning, and for James Pazos to go the rest of the way (without the need for someone else to start warming up behind him), it was just what the doctor ordered.

In “The Mariners Make A Transaction Every Day” news:  Chase De Jong was sent back to Tacoma in favor of an extra reliever, Casey Lawrence.  Lawrence was recently DFA’d and looks pretty terrible, but it also seems like he’s just here temporarily until we can replace him with someone better.  De Jong wasn’t really making any progress as a starter, and it’s safe to say Bergman has officially lapped him on the depth chart, so to speak.  James Paxton is up and throwing again, with no ill effects so far, so the hope is he goes out on a rehab assignment and returns to the Mariners by month’s end.  As for who starts for De Jong in the next turn in the rotation, I haven’t the foggiest, but the tea leaves are pointing to Dillon Overton again.

With Cano still on the shelf, it’s nice to see Cruz and Seager step up of late.  And Jean Segura has been a godsend at the top of the order (which makes me uncomfortable when people talk about him being trade bait later this summer, when the Mariners officially give up on the season).  Ben Gamel got back on the horse with 2 hits last night (including a triple in the first) and a run scored.  Boog Powell and Guillermo Heredia also got in on the act last night, which was nice to see.

The White Sox come to town for a 4-game set, starting tonight.  Sam Gaviglio will make his first-ever start in the Major Leagues a week after making his Major League debut in relief against the Blue Jays, going 2 innings, giving up 1 run.

The Mariners apparently traded for Gaviglio last year with the Cardinals, for infielder Ty Kelly.  He worked his way from AA to AAA, putting himself in a position to get the start tonight.  I hardly remember what his stuff looks like from a week ago, because all of these guys are starting to look the same to me, but considering he’s the TENTH different starter the Mariners will have used (a mere 6.5 weeks into the season), I don’t have the highest of hopes for his success.  The bar for me right now is Chase De Jong.  If he’s better than De Jong, we’ve got a shot.  If he’s worse than De Jong, it’s going to take a heroic effort from our offense.  And, considering good ol’ TBD is scheduled to start for the Mariners on Sunday, I’ll repeat myself:  Christian Bergman couldn’t have picked a better time to save this bullpen.

Every Mariners victory this month feels like five, because they’re so unexpected and so unlikely.  The mantra continues to be:  hang in there until guys come back, and I don’t think that’s going to change at least until the July trade deadline.  But, that mantra also dies a little more with every new injury and I don’t know how much more I can take of this tug o’ war with my soul.  It’s probably too much to ask for a nice, long winning streak, or for guys to return from injury without other guys immediately going down, but I’d sure like to rest easy for a spell.

This Mariners Season Suddenly Feels Pointless

I know, I know, what’s with this “suddenly” business?  Hasn’t it felt pointless all along?  Hasn’t this entire 21st century felt pretty pointless, from a Mariners fan perspective?

You can certainly make that argument.  But, I’ve just had this wide range of emotions this year, far surpassing any other season that I can remember.  Excitement, disappointment, elation, dread, anger, boiling anger, uncontrollable rage, sadness, on into lethargy.  Being a lethargic Mariners fan is nothing new; we tend to hit that point every year around this time, if not sooner.  When you realize contention is a pipe dream, and even if by some miracle they did make the playoffs, knowing they don’t have the horses to do anything about it once they get there.

But, this is a totally different sense of lethargy.  This is knowing the Mariners COULD be a good team, but they never will, because of the stacks on stacks on stacks of injuries that are relentless, debilitating, and come from out of nowhere.

2017 Mariners Misery Tracker

  • Drew Smyly – 60 day DL
  • Steve Cishek – started season on DL, just returned
  • Tony Zych – started season on DL, since returned
  • Shawn O’Malley – 60 day DL
  • Jean Segura – On DL for 2 weeks in April
  • Mitch Haniger – On DL for at least 1 month
  • Felix Hernandez – On DL, just had setback
  • James Paxton – On DL for at least 1 month
  • Evan Scribner – 60 day DL
  • Evan Marshall – 60 day DL
  • Hisashi Iwakuma – On DL for 4-6 weeks
  • Ryan Weber – On DL after very first start was cut short due to injury
  • Robinson Cano – On DL with quad injury

This was something we all saw coming.  Robbie had missed 5 games going into yesterday, and was no closer to returning, so might as well shut him down.  It’s bullshit that you can only make it retroactive to 3 days prior, but this is baseball, and baseball MUST have dumb rules that make no sense.

This has thrust Taylor Motter back into an everyday role – almost immediately after I complained about his lack of playing time – and while I wouldn’t say he’s been bad (he’s still getting hits here and there), he hasn’t had an extra base hit since taking over for Cano, and his strikeouts are way up.  While guys like Seager, Cruz, Segura, and Valencia to a lesser extent are trying to keep this offense afloat, our younger players have cratered a little bit of late.  I’m looking at Ben Gamel, Guillermo Heredia, Jarrod Dyson, and the aforementioned Motter.  Which is understandable, because none of those guys have been everyday players until this season; you had to expect some rough patches.  Which makes losing Cano at this critical juncture all the more debilitating.

But, this is still an offense that COULD withstand the loss of someone like Cano for a short period, IF they had the pitching to pick up the slack.  Which gets back to my original point about this whole thing being fucking pointless, because they DON’T have the pitching.  I will regret to my dying day writing this post, because it couldn’t be further from the truth.  The Mariners are no closer to solidifying that bullpen, not one little bit.  In fact, you could say they’ve gotten REMARKABLY worse since I published that God-foresaken ode to the bullpen.  Partially, of course, you have to blame the starters for being inept, but blaming the starting pitching of the Seattle Mariners is starting to feel like blaming the offensive line of the Seattle Seahawks; at some point, you’ve beaten that dead horse so much it’s starting to turn into a warm, rancid paste.

Edwin Diaz just lost his closer’s job because he has no control of where his pitches go.  He has to totally rework his wind up to find his release point.  On the one hand, he should theoretically be able to control his pitches better, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t be shocked if he loses some MPH on his fastball.  At which point, are we trading one ineffective reliever for another?  Time will tell, I suppose.

The Mariners were going to go to a Bullpen By Committee, but since half the guys have been worked to death this week, we were left with the just-called-up Steve Cishek, making his second appearance in as many days, and his second appearance since being called up from the DL.  In other words:  his second appearance of the SEASON, for a guy who never really had a proper Spring Training, unless you count bouncing around between Arkansas, Tacoma, and some off-day bullpens in Seattle.

So, yeah, Cishek blew it.  The Mariners were down 4-1 for practically the entire game, managed to cobble together 3 runs in the seventh to tie it, and took the lead on a Seager solo blast in the eighth to give the team an opportunity for an unlikely win; all tossed aside as Cishek got clobbered by left handed hitting Matt Joyce.  He was eventually pulled for Scrabble, who got clobbered by right handed hitting Blah Blah Blah.  If there are two pitchers on this team who SHOULDN’T be facing opposite-handed hitters, it’s Cishek and Scrabble.  I’m sure there was a more appropriate way to handle that ninth inning last night, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to give any more thought to it.  The bottom line is, Nick Vincent and Tony Zych were both unavailable due to recent over-use.  And, is James Pazos really a better option?  I doubt it.

Regardless, Steve Cishek should be able to get three fucking outs without giving away a billion runs.  Marc Rzkciaydadsofnpzki should be able to get three fucking outs without giving away a billion runs.  Steve Cishek is making $6 million this season, the most money of any relief pitcher on the team, and fourth-most among all pitchers on this team behind Felix, Kuma, and Gallardo (for some reason making $11 million).  Marc Rzoiadnoiasdfnikai is making $5.5 million, or second-most of any relief pitcher on the team.  For your reference, the third highest paid reliever is Nick Vincent at $1.325 million (no one else is over a million), meaning the duo of Cishek and Rzadfoinoaidsfnki each make respectively over 4 times more than the third highest paid reliever on the team.

And they couldn’t get three fucking outs without giving up five fucking runs to close out the game.

That’s why this season suddenly feels so pointless.  Because you can do everything right; you can scrap and fight to get back into a game you’ve been dominated in for 2/3 of the time, you can even take the lead in regulation to steal a game you had no business winning, but you’ll still get fucked over trying to get those final three outs.

Where is the help?  Where’s assistance coming from?  I guess Edwin Diaz figuring it the fuck out will be a plus, but how long is that going to take?  And, like I asked before, will he even be the same guy?

And, from a starting pitching perspective, where do you look?  Sure, it appears as if James Paxton will be back soon, maybe even by the end of the month!  But, Iwakuma sure as shit won’t see the mound in Safeco until July at the earliest.  And who the fuck knows when Felix’s arm will allow him to pitch again.  I’m betting on both of those guys needing season-ending surgery at some point.  And don’t even get me started on Drew Smyly; I’m not even convinced that guy is a real person!

Everyone keeps saying Doug Fister isn’t really an option, because if he was good, he’d be signed by now.  And, even when he does sign, he’ll need time to build his arm back up.  But, you know what?  If we’d gone and signed Fister when this first became an issue, his ass would be plenty warmed up by now!  Is he an ideal option?  Of course not.  But, is he better than Chase De Jong (10 runs in 11 innings over his last two starts), Christian Bergman (3 runs in 5 innings in his only start), Dillon Overton (2 runs in 3.1 innings in his only start), or Whoever The Fuck (TBD runs in TBD innings)?  I’d have to think so.

Then again, what’s the point, right?  Fister, no Fister; returning starters, Tacoma guys, it’s all the same.  If they don’t reinjure themselves, someone else will fall in his place, and we’ll continue scrambling to fill the void.

God I hate baseball.

The Mariners Were Swept In Toronto

I mean, you knew the good times weren’t going to last, right?  Not with this rotation in the shambles it’s in.  All four starters in that series were destined to start out in Tacoma or worse before injuries set in, and while they’d all done pretty well in the previous turn through the rotation, odds were heavily against them replicating that sort of success a second time in a row.

What we probably didn’t see coming was the Mariners’ offense only scoring 6 runs in 4 games, particularly after how they mashed in Philly.  But, they too had been on a nice little roll recently, and were destined to come back to Earth at some point.

People are going to look back at the 2017 Mariners as the Great Lost Season.  This team had all the potential in the world to gel into something fantastic, but an absurd number of pitching injuries will ultimately torpedo all this promise.  We’ll have to look back and wonder what could have been, if all our key guys stayed healthy.

Or, if they’d stayed out of the WBC?

There have been a number of key injuries around Major League Baseball this year.  To be fair, there are a number of key injuries around Major League Baseball EVERY year, and they don’t do the WBC on an annual basis.  But, someone mentioned the WBC recently when talking about a lot of the players who are missing time, and I think it’s definitely worth exploring.

I’m not an anti-WBC zealot, by any means, but I think it’s misplaced on the schedule.  MLB players already play upwards of 162 games a year, plus playoffs if they’re so lucky, plus a bunch of Spring Training games to ramp up for the regular season.  That’s already TOO MUCH baseball; now you’re throwing in this meaningless tournament at the start of the season?  Forcing everyone to start getting in baseball shape sooner – and thereby reducing their recovery period in the offseason by however many weeks – just so they can, what, play for their countries?  Didn’t we have baseball in the Olympics for that?

I think the only way to have a viable WBC tournament is to have it during the middle of the MLB season.  The players will leave and go play for their national teams after they’re already sufficiently warmed up, and their MLB teams will just have to get by until they return.

Because this Doing It During Spring Training bullshit, I believe, is having an adverse effect on these players.

Drew Smyly was the obvious early example, as he didn’t look the same after his one start in the WBC.  But, there’s also Jean Segura – who was on the DL for two weeks – as well as Robbie Cano and Nelson Cruz, who have yet to hit the DL, but who have both had nagging leg injuries that have cost them a few games of late.  Then, of course, we have Felix Hernandez, who ALREADY had a billion miles on his throwing arm, and apparently thought it would be a good idea to throw a few more on there in a meaningless WBC tournament.

If you ask me, it’s only a matter of time before Yovani Gallardo and Edwin Diaz see time on the shelf, at which point that’ll account for just about everyone of import in the Mariners organization who played in the WBC.

I could be totally off base, and all these injuries could just be coincidences.  After all, Iwakuma didn’t play in the WBC.  Mitch Haniger didn’t play in the WBC.  A bunch of these other guys on the DL didn’t participate in the WBC either.  I dunno.  I’m just angry and sad and frustrated.  I always want the Mariners to do well, but I REALLY wanted this year to be the year we returned to the playoffs.  Mostly because it just made the most sense.  This is the most talented team we’ve had since 2003, and it’s just getting harder and harder to swallow.

I just can’t remember the last time I felt this beaten down.  It feels like, for the Mariners to win on a consistent basis, they have to average 8+ runs per game.  We’re never going to get those 2-1 or 1-0 wins.  Although, you could argue, yesterday’s game came the closest.

Ariel Miranda threw five scoreless innings of relatively impressive baseball.  The Mariners were finally able to scratch across a run in the top of the fifth to take a 1-0 lead.  Then, Miranda walked the leadoff hitter in the bottom of the sixth and was pulled for James Pazos.  Of course, that run ended up coming around to score, along with one more, thanks to Justin Smoak jacking a 2-run bomb to center.  Because, yeah, fuck that guy.  That cunt couldn’t do shit when he was with the Mariners, but he’s sure as shit going to have his bloody revenge whenever he plays AGAINST the Mariners.  Go fuck yourself, Justin Smoak, you worthless knob.

Jarrod Dyson was able to tie the game with his first homer of the season, and that took us to the bottom of the ninth, where Edwin Diaz gave up the walk-off homer to Toronto’s punchless centerfielder.  I guess turnabout is fair play or whatever.

In the series, Mariners hitters were 4 for 35 with runners in scoring position, harkening back to the first week of this God-foresaken season.  The sweep dropped the Mariners’ road record to 7-16 and dropped our run differential to an even 0.  So, at least we’re no longer one of those shameful teams who have a losing record and a positive run differential, in defiance of all that is holy and right in the game of baseball.

No days off this week, but the Mariners are back home for seven games.  At least that’s something.  Nothing to get too excited about though.  You’re probably better off trying to binge-watch the first two seasons of Twin Peaks before its revival kicks off Sunday night.

At This Point, If The Mariners Want You To Start For Them, I Would Take It As An Insult, Because Obviously They Want To See You Injured

2017 Mariners Misery Tracker

  • Drew Smyly – 60 day DL
  • Steve Cishek – still on DL from offseason hip surgery
  • Tony Zych – starts season on DL, since returned
  • Shawn O’Malley – 60 day DL
  • Jean Segura – On DL for 2 weeks in April
  • Mitch Haniger – On DL for approx 1 month
  • Felix Hernandez – On DL, just had setback
  • James Paxton – On DL for at least 3 weeks
  • Evan Scribner – 60 day DL
  • Evan Marshall – 60 day DL
  • Hisashi Iwakuma – On DL for 4-6 weeks
  • Ryan Weber – On DL after very first start was cut short due to injury

Now our replacement starters are getting injured.  They’re also getting injured in their very first starts with the Mariners, so it looks like the curse is getting stronger.  This is some Final Destination shit right here!  Pretty soon, everyone on the Mariners will be dead by some gruesome “accident” and there will be no more baseball in Seattle.  Hell, at this point, I have to wonder if Seattle will be a place that exists!  If North Korea ever drops the bomb, it’s surely going to land on Safeco Field as the Mariners warm up in batting practice.  What The ‘Pen bros will do that night is anyone’s guess, but that’s a problem for another day.

The bats are still quiet in Toronto.  Cano has missed his third straight game.  Hitting with runners in scoring position has taken a major hit this series.  If I were still keeping track with my spreadsheet, I’d be interested in these results, but I gave up that dream a while ago.

Another morning game today.  Yay?

Short-Handed Mariners Got Whomped In Toronto

I had a bad feeling about this game all day.  If I were a gambling man, near a gambling establishment, I would’ve made a significant bet on the Blue Jays to win it, and sure enough:  7-2 Toronto.

That, of course, was before I found out that Robinson Cano would sit due to that sore quad.  Oddly enough, though, it was AFTER I discovered that Justin Smoak was going to be the Blue Jays’ cleanup hitter.  He ended up going 3 for 3 with 4 RBI, because he’s a no-talent ass clown.

Nelson Cruz hit a 2-run bomb in the top of the first inning to put the Mariners in control, but obviously that wouldn’t be enough.  Chase De Jong did his part through four innings, but he fell apart after that, finishing with 5 innings, 6 runs on 7 hits & 3 walks, with only 1 strikeout.

More Mariners moves before the game.  Zac Curtis – who came over in the Walker/Segura trade – was called up from AA to replace Dan Altavilla (who was sent back to Tacoma to continue working on things).  Curtis pitched an inning of soft-landing relief, giving up 0 runs.  Sam Gaviglio – who was called up when Iwakuma went on the DL – pitched the last two innings, giving up a solo homer to Justin Smoak.

The Mariners also picked up reliever Casey Lawrence off waivers from Toronto and sent him to Tacoma.  To make room on the 40-man, Evan Scribner was put on the 60-day DL, so I guess we won’t have him to kick around for a while.

The bats were quiet yesterday, but there were also some lineup issues.  Cano, obviously, is a huge blow, since he’s really starting to heat up.  Also, Guillermo Heredia had visa issues because he’s Cuban and they played in Canada and Donald Trump is our president and everyone is dumb.  So, that forced Taylor Motter into the outfield and Mike Freeman to get the start at second base.  Motter got a walk and Freeman got less than that.  I don’t even know what Mike Freeman is doing up here, except yes I do, because apparently Shawn O’Malley hurt his shoulder and I still don’t know how, and because Mitch Haniger is still on the DL with that oblique.  GET WELL SOON, MITCH!  Freeman is still dining out on that 2-hit day in Houston where he hit his home run, and hasn’t done a God damn thing since.

Also, it stinks that Carlos Ruiz apparently can’t play on back-to-back days, because this Tuffy guy SUUUUUUUCKS.  God fucking dammit, whose dick do you gotta suck to get a good-hitting catcher on this team?

Here’s to hoping the lineup is rested and refreshed for the next three games, because I could see this 4-game series getting out of control with how bad our pitching looks.