Tag Archives: Justin Smoak

The Mariners Are Officially In Second Place

I don’t know how many more times I’ll be able to say that, this year or EVER, so I’m tossing this post into the Internet ether before the inevitable losing streak. Second place!  Yeah, the Mariners are 7 games behind … Continue reading

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The Worst People In Seattle Sports History, Part I

You’ll forgive me if I’m not exactly in the most chipper of moods.  That’s what happens when some useless cunt brings bedbugs into your apartment building and you spend a sleepless week itching, cleaning, and bagging up all your shit.  … Continue reading

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Piling On Jesus Montero

Jesus Montero is the Mariners scapegoat du jour for fans of this team, and that honor couldn’t go to a worthier guy.  You know who’s relieved that Montero is drawing all the negative attention as this team scuffles to a … Continue reading

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Shoot Me Now: The Mariners Are Still Terrible, April 2013 Edition

I swear I’m going to mention the Seahawks’ draft on this site very soon, but for now there’s this. The Mariners just finished their first month of the season with a 12-17 record.  GOD THEY’RE THE WORST! It’s no longer … Continue reading

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God Damn I Hate The Fucking Mariners

There’s a show on NBC right now called Community; have you heard of it?  If you have, then you’re probably a super-fan who has watched the show a million times through the first three seasons.  If you haven’t, then you … Continue reading

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The Seattle Mariners Are Root Sports

This is the way I understand it; correct me if I’m wrong. For the past however-many years, Root Sports has been televising Mariners games.  Root Sports either took over or replaced Fox Sports Northwest, which USED to televise Mariners games.  … Continue reading

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Seattle Mariners Mid-April Review

Two weeks in, 14 games in the books.  A 6-8 record.  Zero series wins, two series losses, two series ties. Things have been really hit-or-miss with this team so far.  On the positive side of things, Mike Morse has 6 … Continue reading

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Just Another Home Opener NOT On Opening Day

Last year, the Mariners didn’t get to play their home opener until April 13th, after eight games on the road including two in Japan.  I don’t remember this, but apparently the Mariners got to start Felix Hernandez at their home … Continue reading

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Aggressiveness Is Killing The Mariners

This offense is crazy-aggressive.  That stands out in a couple of key areas:  on-base percentage, and percentage of runs scored due to the home run. The team on-base percentage is only .292.  Do I HAVE to say that it’s still … Continue reading

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The Last Five Years In Seattle Sports

2008 was the lowest point in Seattle sports.  It was our Absolute Zero.  Rock Bottom.  The total nadir of sports humanity! It was the primary inspiration for the title of this website.  Take an already-crappy sports city, with practically no … Continue reading

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