The Mariners Finished 78-84

Tied for 14th-worst record in baseball, with the Texas Rangers.  And, by virtue of the Rangers having a superior record than the Mariners in 2016, that means we win the tie-breaker!  Hurrah!  We’re drafting 14th!

Hey, it could’ve been worse.  Sure, it could’ve been a lot better, but I guess we just HAD to win those three games in the final week!

I have nothing to say about the series against the Angels.  I’m just going to run through some numbers.  I’ll have a proper End Of Season Recap when I’ve had time to digest everything that’s happened.

78-84 is good for 3rd in the A.L. West, behind the division-winning Astros and the nothing Angels.  The Astros were 23 games better than the Mariners.  Go ahead and let that sink in.

78-84 is good for 7 games back of the second Wild Card spot.  The Twins ended up taking that, as I believe I’ve mentioned before.  The Royals, Rays, and Angels all stood in our way as well.  Oddly enough, every team out of the playoffs was under .500 in the American League (there were two teams in the N.L. with winning records that failed to make the playoffs).

The Mariners finished 40-41 at home; 38-43 on the road.  The Mariners finished with a -22 run differential (by the Pythagorean winning percentage, we should’ve been about 1 win better).

Here are the Mariners’ records by month:

  • April:  11-15
  • May:  14-14
  • June:  15-12
  • July:  14-12
  • August:  12-15
  • September:  12-16

The Mariners’ peak was 3 games over .500, which I believe they achieved twice; the nadir was 8 games under .500.  The longest winning streak and losing streak were both 6 games.  The Mariners were 7-5 in extra innings games.  They were 26-15 in 1-run games.

Here are the Mariners’ final records against their A.L. West foes:

  • Houston:  5-14
  • Anaheim:  7-12
  • Texas:  11-8
  • Oakland:  12-7
  • Total:  35-41

That means the Mariners were 43-43 against everyone else.  Not great, considering every other American League division had a minimum of 2 playoff teams; we really should’ve done a better job cleaning up in our own division.

Jean Segura led the Mariners in batting average with an even .300.  Nelson Cruz led the team in OBP with .375, and Slugging with .549 (it would stand to reason, then, that he led in OPS with .924).  Cruz led the team in homers with 39, and in runs scored with 91; he led the entire American League in RBI with 119.  Robbie Cano had the team lead in hits with 166.  Cano and Seager tied for the team lead in doubles with 33.  And Ben Gamel took the team lead in triples with 5.  Jarrod Dyson was your stolen base king with 28.

The less said about the pitching, the better, but here are a couple of nuggets.  You want to know who led the team in innings pitched?  Ariel Miranda, with a whopping 160!  Paxton led the team in strikeouts with 156 and in wins with 12.  Yovani Gallardo led the team in losses with 10.  Nick Vincent, naturally, led the team in Holds with 29.  And Edwin Diaz finished with 34 saves.

The Mariners finished 7th in the A.L. in runs scored with 750.  8th in ERA with 4.46.

I could go on and on, but I’ll call it a day right there.  All told, the offense was worse than I expected, and the pitching was as bad as I feared.  Of course, I hoped for the best with the pitching, and it indeed may have been better had everyone not gotten injured.  But, overall this is probably the record the Mariners deserved.  This is probably the best indication of who these Mariners were.  Sure, they might’ve been a bit better with a full season out of Paxton and Felix, and with ANY season out of Smyly, but with their flaws, this was no playoff team.  Not now, not ever.

You want to hear something really sad?  In two years managing the Seattle Mariners, Lloyd McClendon was 163-161.  In two years managing the Seattle Mariners, Scott Servais is 164-160.  Over these last two years, the Mariners are exactly 1 game better than they were the previous two years.

God I hate baseball.

The Dog In The Mariners’ Fight Has Been Put To Sleep

I’m at that part of the Mariners season where I turn wistful.  Like Bing Bong slowly disappearing in the Memory Dump in Inside Out, so too do the sands of my belief in a Mariners miracle.  With time running out, I just want to see my team play some baseball before everything gives way to football for another offseason.

King Felix took the mound yesterday, and for three innings he looked like Classic Felix.  I wasn’t deluding myself; I know he hasn’t turned anything around.  I know that he’s still going to look amazing in short bursts, every once in a while, only for him to lose his release point, or lose his command, or whatever you want to call it.  Can’t I just enjoy a little King Felix while the getting’s good?

As the fourth inning started, it was getting to be my bedtime.  But, Felix was rolling, the season’s coming to a close, and I was willing to push it to the limits:  8:30, maybe even 9 o’clock!  However long Felix was out there and looking good, I’d stay awake on my couch and root him on!

But, it was like Felix somehow knew that I needed to be fresh and alert today at work.  So, he did what any good King would do, he took care of his people … by walking the bases loaded and giving up a few runs.  With one out, and the bases loaded, Andrew Albers came on in relief, and promptly gave up a Grand Slam to put this game – and yours truly – to bed.  I guess he won’t be getting the start on Saturday.

The Mariners would go on to make a game of it – as they do – but it’s hard to come back when you’re in the hole 7-1.  A bunch of people had a bunch of hits, and things got really interesting in the seventh, when the M’s pulled to within 8-5.  Cruz and Seager both walked to load the bases, then Yonder Alonso promptly swung at the first pitch to get the Rangers out of the jam.  Didn’t really C the Z there.  I can’t imagine a world where Yonder Alonso is back with the Mariners next year.  He’s not the reason we failed, but he’s done very little to help this team succeed either.

In the end, the Mariners got another run in the eighth, and that was that.  8-6.  Making this a 5-game losing streak, with 10 games to go.  At this point, we should probably be rooting for the Mariners to lose.

HEY, we haven’t done this in a while!  Let’s take a look at where the Mariners would draft next year!  Right now, we’re tied with the Rays for 14th.  We throttled the Rays this season, so that would seemingly give them the tie-breaker for better draft position.

With 10 games to go, there’s certainly room to move up in the draft order.  As I noted, we’re tied with the Rays.  The Orioles are just 1.5 games back (and remember, we have 3 more against the Indians to look forward to!).  The Marlins are only 2 games back!  And hell, the Blue Jays are 3 games back and they KILLED us this season!  If we can somehow lose enough to leapfrog those teams, that would put us drafting 11th.

And then there’s Oakland.  Bet you thought Oakland was so far back it would be IMPOSSIBLE for them to pass us in the standings!  Well, you’re not far off, but it’s also not impossible!  Now, hear me out:  5 games.  That’s all that stands in our way.  And, don’t forget, we play the A’s in Oakland next week, so if we can somehow get them to sweep us, that takes care of 3 games.  Now, unfortunately, even if they do sweep us, we will still have won the season series 10-9, so I have to hope that I’m mistaken and the season series has no bearing on tie-breakers for MLB Draft purposes.  Or, maybe we just go out and lose the whole fuckin’ thing!  Aside from playing us, the A’s play their remaining 7 games against Texas.  Unless you’re the Mariners this week, the Rangers aren’t unbeatable, so I’m still holding out hope that the Mariners can somehow sneak into a Top 10 draft pick.

The other option would be the Pirates, who are 5.5 games back, but they have 4 against the Nationals, and they’ve been pretty terrible these last few weeks.

I think I’ve got renewed life!  Lose Mariners Lose!  Paxton vs. Hamels tonight; can we get another night of Paxton with poor mechanics?  Can Hamels fucking BRING IT!?!  Go Rangers!

The Mariners Keep Winning & So Does Everyone Else

The Mariners have a 3-game winning streak.  How about that.

King Felix came back and didn’t embarrass himself.  He was on a pitch count of around 50 pitches or so, and ended up going just a hair over that trying to get the final out in the fourth.  He gave up a double to his final batter and was pulled for Ryan Garton to get out of the little mini-jam.

Which brings up a quick aside, as I’d like to praise Scott Servais for this thing he’s been doing lately.  I suppose I only noticed it because so many of our fucking starters this year have gone well under the 5-inning mark, but when it’s early in a game and the starter is clearly faltering, when Servais pulls him, he doesn’t go immediately to the long reliever, which I agree with 100%.  With a bunch of runners on base, and the other team clearly seeing & hitting the ball well that day, you don’t need to replace one mediocre starter with another mediocre starter (and what is a long reliever if not a mediocre starter?).  You need to bring in a standard one inning-type reliever to put the clamp down on further scoring that inning.  Then, assuming he gets out of the jam, go ahead and bring your long reliever in the NEXT inning, with a clean slate and no runners on base.

It’s not a big thing, but I think it’s very smart and deserves to be acknowledged.

Anyway, getting back, Felix held the Rangers to 1 run over his 3.2 innings of work.  He gave up 3 hits, 0 walks, and 3 strikeouts, and generally kept the Rangers off balance most of the time he was out there.  I’m not creaming my pants or anything, but it’s certainly better than a lot of what we’ve seen from this rotation in recent weeks.

Then, from the fifth inning onward, Andrew Albers took over, closing this game out.  He went a full five innings, giving up 3 runs on 3 hits, 1 walk, with 6 strikeouts.  It was announced before the game that Ariel Miranda is going to get some time off to rest his over-worked arm (which is certainly the prudent thing to do), and for the time being Andrew Moore is going to make the start on Sunday in his place.  People on Twitter were rightly manic about the snubbing of Albers – who has been a better pitcher for this team this year, and deserves the honor of taking over the rotation spot Miranda is vacating – but my hunch is after this turn, Albers will get his shot again.  Or, even if he doesn’t, it’s not like this team has suddenly, magically, fixed everything that was wrong with its rotation.  This team WILL need its long relievers again before the season is over!  You haven’t seen the last of Andrew Albers, I promise you!

It would’ve been a magnificent outing for Albers, if not for the 3-run homer he gave up in the bottom of the seventh.  But, by that point, the Mariners had racked up a 10-1 lead, so we weren’t in any danger.

In their 3 wins this series, the Mariners beat the Rangers by a combined score of 28-8.  THE BATS ARE ALIVE!  Just in time to be silenced in Houston this weekend, because we can’t have nice things; but on the off-chance that they’re not, this is the perfect time for this offense to be heating up.

Haniger finally went hitless, but did walk and score a run.  Segura had a hit and a run.  Zunino had 2 walks, a hit and an RBI.  But, those are small potatoes compared to the heavy lifting being done by the middle of the order.

Cruz, Seager, and Yonder Alonso (dropped from 2 to 6 in the lineup, which is exactly where he fits best) combined to go 9 for 12 with all the doubles and homers, as well as 7 of the 10 runs scored, and 8 of the 10 RBI.  Don’t look now, but Seager is up to 25 homers on the season, and Cruz is up to 33.  GREAT time for them to get hot!

Unfortunately, as I alluded to in the title, in spite of this 3-game winning streak, the Mariners haven’t made up any ground on the Twins, as they’re still 3.5 games back.  The M’s did do a good job of passing the Rangers, Orioles, Royals, and Rays, and we’re holding steady a half game back of the Angels (the only team between us and the Twins now), but as I keep saying, time’s a-wastin’.  15 games left in the season, including 3 against the Astros this weekend, and 3 against the magma-hot Indians (winners of 22 straight, an all-time American League record) next weekend.

Sadly, this feels like a good time to play one last game of fetch with Old Yeller before we take the Mariners out behind the barn and shoot ’em.  The last game I attended was back in August for Edgar Martinez Weekend, so I figure I should get out to one more before it’s all said and done.  Next week features the final six home games of the 2017 season; I recommend getting out there one last time to do the same.  If things hold as predicted, I’ll be going to the game where Corey Kluber klubs us to death.  Should be good times.

Mariners Get Back To .500 Once Again; How Many More Times Can We Do This?

Mike Leake is going to be a legend in this fucking town if he keeps this up!

Three starts, three games where he’s at least pitched into the sixth inning, while giving up 3 runs or less.  Yesterday, it was a 5.2 inning affair, with just the 1 run given up on 5 hits, 1 walk, and 5 strikeouts.  He’s 3-0 with the Mariners, with a 2.41 ERA!  I don’t know when the other shoe is gonna drop, but I hope to Christ I never have to see that shoe ever again.  What’s that shoe’s deal anyway?  Fuck that shoe!  Stop dropping all over the place!

This was a fun one, no doubt about it.  Zunino homered to kick off the scoring in the fifth, and a few batters later Segura hit a 2-run home run to make it 3-0.  The Rangers got one back in the bottom of the sixth, just in time for all hell to break loose in the top of the seventh.

Segura walked and Haniger doubled to put runners on second & third.  Cano was called out on a check swing by the home plate umpire, and after Cano – seemingly calm and rationally – asked why he didn’t check down with the third base umpire, he was ejected from the game.  It was apparently his first career ejection, which sounds kind of amazing, 13 years in.  With a lefty on the mound, Cruz was intentionally walked to load the bases for Seager, who worked a solid count and hit a good pitch the other way for a 2-run single.  Cruz ended up hustling into third when their third baseman was caught off the bag, then a bad throw allowed Cruz to rumble home and Seager to slide into third.  Valencia then hit a sac fly to score Seager, and Zunino concluded the scoring that inning with another solo blast, this time the opposite way.  Just like that, 3-1 turned into 8-1, and the rest was academic.

I keep saying it, and he keeps doing it:  Mitch Haniger is on a ROLL!  Two more hits, including that double; he is CRUSHING the month of September.  His line, through 12 games:

  • .451/.451/.745/1.196, with 4 doubles, 1 triple, 3 homers, 9 runs, and 8 RBI

If you tack on the last game in August for shits n’ gigs, his line looks like this:

  • .472/.472/.836/1.308, with 6 doubles, 1 triple, 4 homers, 11 runs, and 11 RBI

This is fun!  For context, his season numbers have climbed back up to this:

  • .282/.359/.485/.844, with 21 doubles, 2 triples, 12 homers, 50 runs, and 41 RBI

Oh man, I gotta tell you, that’s not bad.  Not bad at all, considering he missed about half the season to various injuries.  I don’t want to give him that out, because if he comes back next year and misses another half season to injuries, then he’s labelled Injury Prone and his numbers don’t mean jack shit; but I will say I’m cautiously optimistic for his future.

While we’re on this train of thought regarding the youth movement on this team, I’d like to call out Mike Zunino for really turning his season around and (hopefully) his career as well!  He’s hit career highs in doubles and homers this season, with 22 and 23 respectively.  More importantly, his slash line is almost EXACTLY where I’ve always said I wanted it to be:  .246/.327/.507/.834.  With his throwing arm, his pitch framing, his blocking ability, and his rapport with the pitching staff, I will take those numbers all day every day!  Now if he can just manage to not completely fall apart these last two weeks, we’re really talking about a season you can be proud of, and certainly something to build upon going forward.

I don’t want to spend all day going up and down the lineup, but I’ll toss in one more kudos to Kyle Seager.  That at bat in the seventh inning was truly remarkable.  Cano had just been thrown out, Cruz had just been intentionally walked, so I’m sure his emotions were all over the place.  He had this hot-head umpire behind him, and a difficult-looking lefty on the mound (who actually legitimately struck Cano out on that check swing; the issue there is – why not just check with the third base ump; it takes two seconds).  Seager got ahead in the count right away, took a vicious crack at an inside fastball that he pulled foul, the count worked its way full, and then the single the other way.  It wasn’t just a lucky swing, where a guy flails at something out of the zone and it accidentally hits the end of the bat and bloops into the outfield; this was a determined strategy and a purposed swing to line drive that ball the opposite way to bring in a couple of runs!  Seager is notorious for pulling the ball – it’s where he generates the overwhelming majority of his power – and he has one of the more pronounced defensive shifts to prove it.  The Rangers weren’t shifting on this play, with the bases loaded, but he still managed to hit it over the short stop’s glove on a line.  I mean, this is like something you’d see out of Ichiro in his prime!

2017 might go down as a bit of a disappointing year for fans when they think about Kyle Seager, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that he’s legitimately gotten better each and every season of his career.  So, to hold steady, or take a step back in a couple areas, it’s tough to swallow.  But, I’ve noticed this year more than any year before, a determined effort by Seager to hit more balls the other way.  To be a more complete hitter, as they say.  I don’t think he’ll ever have really tremendous power the opposite way – particularly with how Safeco is constructed, it’s REALLY hard for lefties to hit them out over the left field fence – but a Kyle Seager who can spray balls to all fields is a dangerous weapon.  Over time, I don’t think it’s crazy to think he could hit more doubles the other way, off the Safeco manual scoreboard and the like.

I dunno.  I’m just happy for him, I guess.  That must take just a ton of work to get better at when you’re at the Major League level.

If you haven’t heard it already, let me be the first to say Happy Felix Day!

Ariel Miranda Needs To Be Done For The Year

Feel free to put him in the bullpen if you must, but I’m not even sure he’s good enough for that role right now.  Maybe in a blowout, in lieu of using a backup catcher to eat an inning, you can go ahead and throw Miranda in there.  But, at the VERY least, he needs to not be starting anymore.

And don’t give me this shit about how he threw 6 no-hit innings in his last start!  “No hitters” cease to mean a God damn thing when you walk 6 people and give up a run!  The fact of the matter is, Miranda hasn’t been worth a damn since the end of June; he’s only ranged from mediocre to Fucking God Awful, and it’s time to give him a break.  Yes, we all appreciate his good health this year, but it’s getting to be fucking ridiculous to keep running him out there when the world is destroying him.

Last night, the Mariners lost 5-3 to the Rangers.  Someone for the Mariners pitched six innings, giving up only 1 run.  That someone was Andrew Moore, in relief.  As you might have suspected, Ariel Miranda got the start, and couldn’t finish the second inning.  He gave up a 2-run double in the first, and another 2-run double in the second, and that was that.  1.2 innings, 6 hits, 3 walks and only 1 strikeout.  Fucking PATHETIC.

The Mariners did about as well as could be expected against Cole Hamels, getting 3 runs off of him in his 6 innings, but couldn’t crack the Rangers’ bullpen.  Haniger continued his torrid September, with 3 more hits (just a triple away from the cycle this time around) including a 2-run homer.  Seager had the other RBI on his solo homer in the second, his 23rd homer on the season.  While this year has been a step back for Seager compared to his 2016, he has quietly put up a very Kyle Seager-esque stat line when compared to his career numbers.  It’s a bummer to see his batting average, on-base percentage, and RBI numbers all down, but the power numbers are still there, which lessens my concerns about his future prospects.

Not a whole lot out of the rest of the lineup, though.  0 for 6 with RISP generally won’t get the job done.

Yeah, so anyway, time’s a wastin’, Mariners!  Now might be a good time to rip off a 10-game winning streak!

The Mariners (Minus Seager & Erasmo) Took Labor Day Off

Ho hum, Dallas Keuchel dominated the M’s and the Astros won 6-2.  This isn’t news.  This isn’t shocking, to say the least.  This is Astros > Mariners, end of story.

Frankly, the most shocking thing about this game was the fact that the Mariners held a 1-0 lead into the fifth inning before the Astros finally took control.  That’s when Erasmo Ramirez gave up a couple solo homers to relinquish the lead.  Then, the second most shocking thing happened:  the Mariners tied the game at 2-2 in the sixth on a Kyle Seager homer, his second RBI of the day.

Had we played our cards right, and the bullpen not totally collapsed, maybe we could’ve squeezed in a third run and stolen a victory!

Instead, Scrabble brought zero to the table, and what’s worse, Nick Vincent gave up his first two runs in Safeco Field this season, a feat that probably should’ve gotten more recognition around these parts.  Those four combined runs buried the Mariners, and it was a sprint to the finish.

Yeah, the bullpen gagged this one away, but I find it hard to get mad at anyone when they’re going up against the Astros.  Those guys just have our number!  Anytime the Mariners hold them under 10 runs I think it’s a miracle from the heavens.

Two more days of this shit, then an off-day, then the Mariners can get back to winning some baseball games again.  Just try to ride out the next two days in a bunker of some sort; avoiding contact with the outside world.  It’s really the only way.

Mariners Pull Off Brilliant Comeback To Get Back To .500

That game had it all!  Yovani Gallardo struggling to get through three innings, giving up 2 runs in the process (and lucky it wasn’t a fuckload more); Casey Lawrence relieving him in the fourth and absolutely imploding, giving up 4 runs in 0.1 innings; necessitating recently called up reliever Ryan Garton to come in and finish it out; followed by Marco Gonzales – in his new relief role – going a whopping FOUR shutout innings to keep the Mariners in the ballgame.

You want your game MVP?  You start with Marco Gonzales.  Never thought I’d say that before.

Robbie Cano got off the schneid, hitting his first homer since July 22nd, a 2-run job back in the third to momentarily tie the game.  With the A’s re-taking the lead at 6-2 in the top of the fourth, as Gonzales kept the evil forces at bay, the offense went to work.

Segura and Alonso hit back-to-back solo jobs in the fifth to make it 6-4.  Then, an inning later, Segura doubled home Zunino to make it 6-5; and two innings after that, Zunino hit a solo shot to deep right-center to tie the game at 6-6.  Edwin Diaz – in a non-save situation, because tie games in the ninth will never have a save situation the rest of the way at home – locked it down for one more shot to win it before extras.

Segura led off the inning by reaching on an error to first.  Alonso hit a single to move him to third, and Cano was intentionally walked to load the bases with nobody out and Cruz & Seager due up.  Would this be the greatest Marinering of all time?

ALMOST!

Cruz struck out for the second time on the day, and has really looked bad at the plate in recent games.  After some outfield shuffling – to get Khris Davis’ noodle arm out of left, as if Bob Melvin had sensed something in the force – Seager hit a shallow fly ball to left field of all places.  On Khris Davis, the M’s might’ve sent Segura home on a tag; without Khris Davis, the M’s had to hold.  Two outs.

That brought up Mitch Haniger, who worked the count just enough to have their pitcher throw a wild pitch through the legs of the catcher.  Segura came scrambling home, and the Mariners won it!

Afternoon game today to get the sweep.  Don’t fail me now!  Don’t forget what the Astros are bringing to town!

Mike Leake’s Mariners Debut Goes Swimmingly

I’ll admit I had my doubts.  After the trade was made, going into the game yesterday, during and after the first inning, doubts were swirling!  While Mike Leake isn’t like every other Quad-A, flyballer Jerry Dipoto has brought into this organization, he was still a different kind of Meh.

Then, single-single-RBI double happened to lead off the game, and HERE WE GO AGAIN!  You could’ve cooked an egg on my forehead.  I mean, holy hell, what does this team have to do to get some competent fucking pitching in here?

Thank God he settled down.  After staking the A’s to a 2-0 lead in the first, he shut them out over the next six innings – OH YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT – he went seven innings, giving up just the two runs in getting his first Mariners victory!

I don’t know if it was his brilliance, or the A’s just being the A’s, but he only walked 1 and struck out 7, while inducing them into 2 double plays.  Honestly, it was refreshing more than anything.

As for the Mariners’ offense, I wouldn’t say they’re cured, but they got a rare win while scoring fewer than 4 runs, so that’s something.  A Mike Zunino opposite-field homer got the scoring started, followed by a Mitch Haniger RBI single (back in the 2-hole, plating Jean Segura), followed by a Kyle Seager sac fly to score Haniger, all scored in the third inning.

With Leake out of the game, Scrabble and Vincent shared the eighth, and Diaz had no trouble getting his 31st save of the season.

We’re officially into September, and with it the call-ups.  Jarrod Dyson returned from the DL and got a start last night.  Reliever Shae Simmons – who spent the better part of the last two months in the minors as he worked his way back from injury – was called up for the first time since we got him from the Braves.  Familiar faces Dan Altavilla and Andrew Moore are returning, both headed to the bullpen, where they’ll find Marco Gonzales – who was officially taken out of the rotation with the trade for Leake.  Also newcomer Ryan Garton – who we got from the Rays for nothing – will get a shot to help out in the ‘pen.  Finally, recently acquired catcher Mike Marjama will be the team’s third catcher for the month, because that’s apparently a thing that teams do.

To make room on the 40-man roster, subtractions had to be made.  David Phelps was put back on the DL, to no one’s surprise.  Christian Bergman was outrighted to the Rainiers, which I guess ends his season with us.  And, in the most shocking news, Sam Gaviglio was waived – and immediately claimed by the Royals.  That’s slightly disappointing, if only because he’s clearly better than both Marco Gonzales and Andrew Moore, though I guess those guys are younger with more club control.  It’s been real, Sam Gaviglio!  You were the Charlie Brown of this rotation, under-appreciated and the constant butt of our jokes, but always there and always … I dunno, existing I guess.

I don’t know if all these moves will put the Mariners back into contention (now 3.5 games back of the second Wild Card), but I do know this:  it won’t matter one iota.  Because the Astros did what everyone else was too chickenshit to accomplish:  they traded for Justin Verlander.  So, you know, go ahead and pencil in the Astros and Dodgers into the World Series now, because it’ll be a doozy!

Also, not for nothing, but the M’s better sweep the A’s this weekend, because have you seen the starters the Astros are going to throw at us Monday thru Wednesday?  How about Dallas Keuchel, Justin Verlander (in his Astros debut), and Lance McCullers?  I’m going to do myself a huge favor and not watch any of those fucking games.

Mediocre Baltimore Pitcher Shuts Out Mariners

Dylan Bundy.  Grandmaster D.  Plenty of teams have scored off of him.  In fact, in MOST GAMES teams have scored off of him.  But, with the Mariners in town – CLEARLY exhausted from this punishing road trip in this ridiculous August schedule – he was able to shut us out over 9 innings, allowing one infield hit, walking 2, and striking out 12.

Overused memes are overused …

I’m sure having Bundy throw 116 pitches will have no effect whatsoever on his arm, given his extensive injury history.

Yeah, I just think the Mariners are tired.  I think a 2-week East Coast road trip for a team from Seattle this late in the season is patently absurd and Major League Baseball should be ashamed.  Say what you want about the NFL, but at least they go to great pains to try to make a fair schedule for everyone; this bullshit where the Mariners have to play 21 out of 28 games on the road is some fucking next-level schedule trolling.

Still, the M’s picked a pretty shitty time to waste a quality start.  Erasmo Ramirez is on the roll of his life, with this his fourth game where he’s gone 6 innings while giving up 3 runs or less.  To wit:  6 innings, 5 hits, 2 walks, 2 runs, 7 strikeouts.  I don’t want to know how the sausage is made; I don’t want to hear about how unsustainable it is; I just want to sit here and enjoy it.  Obviously, it won’t last, but given the state of this rotation – where we’re about to go a full turn without a win – you have to try to appreciate the little things or you’ll lose your fucking mind.

But look, the pitching staff is what it is.  I hate to give another spin to this broken record, but this team is obviously only going to go as far as the offense will take it.  I get that sometimes you just don’t have it, but this is absolutely a game the Mariners should have won.  You’re telling me you can’t get three runs across on Bundy?  I know the game ended up 4-0 in favor of the Orioles, but if you push across three runs in six innings, then you’re looking at the teeth of the Mariners’ bullpen, not the likes of James Pazos and Casey Lawrence.  This is absolutely a missed opportunity, and one of the many games we can all look back on when the M’s miss out on the second Wild Card by a single game.

The Mariners try to salvage a 6-6 road trip this afternoon with Ariel Miranda going on get-away day.  Ubaldo Jimenez is as bad as it gets, so if the M’s can’t score any runs today, then I fucking quit.

Mariners Gag Away A Heartbreaker As Marco Gonzales Pitches Himself Out Of A Job

You can’t say the kid was robbed of his opportunity.  After getting his feet wet in Tacoma, the Mariners called him up at the beginning of the month; he’s had 5 starts in the month of August.  In exactly 0 of those starts did he go a minimum of 5 innings.  His ERA is 7.40 in that span, he’s averaged almost a homer-allowed per start, he gives up a ton of hits and for a guy who’s supposed to be known for his control, he sure does walk a lot of guys.  His change-up is supposed to be his best pitch, but boy do I see him leave that hanging out over the middle of the plate more than I see him striking guys out with it.

With his latest huge embarrassing failure yesterday – 3.1 innings, 5 runs – I think we’ve finally seen the last of him in the rotation.  It’ll be September the next time his turn comes up in the rotation, which means rosters will expand and we can bring up someone from Tacoma like Sam Gaviglio, who can at least get us through five fucking innings.

And yet, in spite of all that, the Mariners managed to scratch and claw their way to a 4-3 lead at one point, as well as a 6-6 tie after Gonzales was pulled.  Ben Gamel was the big stud of the day, with 2 hits (including a homer) and 5 RBI.  Valencia, Seager, and Cruz all chipped in on the day as well.  Unfortunately, the bullpen couldn’t be perfect.  The Mariners NEED the bullpen to be perfect if they’re going to win games like these, but it’s just not realistic to see that come to fruition.  Christian Bergman did a yeoman job getting through 2 innings, giving up just the one run (particularly getting out of the jam Gonzales put him in in the bottom of the fourth).  Emilio Pagan got through the final 2.2 innings to save the rest of the bullpen, but he too gave up a run, and that ended up being the decider.  The Mariners put the first two runners on in the top of the eighth, but couldn’t push either of them home and that was that.

What was once a tremendous start to this road trip as late as last Friday, has suddenly taken a sour turn over this 3-game losing streak.  The Mariners need to win one of the next two games to ensure at least a .500 road trip, which I think we all would’ve taken around this time two weeks ago.  But, considering the M’s started out 5-2, ending up with a 6-6 or 5-7 road trip would be a collosal disappointment.  Here’s hoping Erasmo Ramirez and Ariel Miranda can work some magic to right the ship.