The Seahawks Traded A Ton For Quenton Nelson

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It’s a 3rd round pick in 2027 and a 5th round pick in 2028 for maybe 3+ months of left guard Quenton Nelson. The Indianapolis Colts are open for business!

That’s a hefty price tag. I’ll be honest, the Colts have been talked about pretty steadily for the last couple weeks, as it appeared their playoff chances for 2026 were dwindling. They fired their GM, their head coach is probably next, and then you have to assume any number of quality (and not-so-quality) players are up for grabs and/or the chopping block.

Jonathan Taylor was the natural opening talking point, because he’s one of the most talented running backs in football. He’s still playing at a really high level, and he’s under contract for a couple more years. The Seahawks have largely struggled at running back, so it would’ve made all the sense in the world for us to make a run at him.

But, at his pricetag, why wouldn’t we have gone after Kenneth Walker in the first place? Seems like a weird allocation of resources, even if it might ultimately be an upgrade.

The next obvious talking point was Nelson. He’s a 9-year pro. He’s made the Pro Bowl every season. He’s a 3-time AP first-teamer and a 3-time AP second-teamer (including each of the last two years). He’s missed precious few games in his career, and it’s pretty safe to say he’s one of the best guards in football.

But, the downside is that he’s on the last year of his deal. He’s 30 years old. His most recent contract was 4 years, $80 million, with $60 million guaranteed. Right now, we’re paying him the pro-rated portion of $16 million.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t think this move was coming. I didn’t think ANY move was coming, but it felt like a stretch that we would further add to our offensive line. When we’re paying significant money to our tackles, we used a first rounder on a guard in Zabel, and we just won a Super Bowl with the likes of Sundell.

Yes, obviously, we could always improve over Bradford. But, we could’ve improved over Bradford LAST year and didn’t do it! It just felt like – with him coming off of the IR last week – we’d roll with Bradford through the end of the season and then figure out our right guard spot in the offseason.

What I don’t know – and what I think this speaks to – is what the team feels about the likes of Christian Haynes and Beau Stephens. I guess since Haynes was just cut to make room, maybe I do know how they feel about him!

Haynes was under contract through 2027; Stephens is a rookie. Both of them rotated pretty significantly over the last month while Bradford was on IR. Neither looked all that impressive, and it appeared as if Stephens struggled more than Haynes. You could argue they sucked so much that they were actively dragging down the entire O-Line around them. Obviously, when you’re counting down the days for Bradford’s return from injury, you know you’re in a bad spot.

It strikes me that the Seahawks feel they can’t win a Super Bowl with the likes of Haynes or Stephens in there. The idea of them getting this opportunity to gain experience in real, live NFL games was a fun one. I certainly held out hope that one of them would assert himself and prove to be a capable replacement for Bradford in 2027 and beyond. But, clearly that wasn’t the case.

The Seahawks were 2-3 with Haynes and Stephens in there full time. Not Great, Bob!

So, what does this mean going forward?

Presumably, Nelson slides into the left guard spot. One would think he’ll be able to start against the Bears; I’ve never been so happy to have a Monday Night Football game on the docket! We’ll see how it goes in the first week, but going forward I think this will help tremendously, especially as Charles Cross is on the shelf for what’s reported to be a high ankle sprain for at least the next couple weeks (if not a full month or more).

I would assume the Seahawks move Zabel to right guard. He played there in college and I’m told this is his more natural position. Can he get up to speed at right guard by Monday Night? That will be critical.

This obviously moves Bradford to the bench, which gives him some additional time to recover from his injury, and significantly bolsters our line depth. It’s possible Bradford holds onto his starting spot for the next week, as Zabel acclimates to the change in sides, but I would assume if that happens, it’ll be a full-blown competition over the next couple weeks, until Zabel ultimately wins the job full time.

Once Cross gets healthy, the line goes Cross-Nelson-Sundell-Zabel-Lucas, which is just tremendous anyway you slice it.

Going beyond this season, what happens next?

Well, it’s possible Nelson leaves in free agency. At that point – assuming he’s healthy – I would figure he’ll get a high-value contract, which leaves us earning a high-value compensatory pick.

But, if I’m being honest, I think this move all but guarantees the Seahawks figure out a way to get an extension done, if not by season’s end, then certainly in the offseason.

The Seahawks don’t make big trades like this without figuring out a way to keep their trade acquisitions. I mean, if we didn’t let Rashid Shaheed walk, there’s no way we’re letting Nelson leave the building. He’s the offensive line equivalent to Leonard Williams, and a 3rd & 5th is almost the equivalent of what we gave up to get Leo (a 2nd and 5th).

This is exciting! Makes you wonder what took the Seahawks so long to actually do some REAL investing into the offensive line?! Just imagine if we had a line like this during Russell Wilson’s post-LOB prime!

The Seahawks Have The Best Offensive & Defensive Players In The NFL

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There isn’t a great way to write that title, but let me clear it up: the Seahawks have the best offensive player in the NFL, and the Seahawks have the best defensive player in the NFL.

No, they’re not BOTH Jaxon Smith-Njigba – in spite of what his original OPOY trophy might indicate – but he’s far and away the best player on offense in the NFL.

You can talk to me about Josh Allen or Brock Purdy until you’re blue in the face, but you know what? You have your opinions and I have mine. I’ve seen too many games from those two where they were major contributing factors to their teams losing games – particularly in the playoffs – to feel like they’re even in the same league as JSN.

What JSN is doing is absolutely incredible. The Seahawks have one guy on offense. Their offensive line has been hit or miss. The running back room has been a disaster. The rest of the receivers are Meh at best, the tight ends are fine. And the quarterback is the most turnover-prone player in the game. We all know who the MVP is of this Seahawks offense. Seahawks fans know, opposing fanbases know, every single person even remotely aware of the game of football knows. And, most importantly, opposing defensive coordinators know. If you’re not gameplanning around stopping JSN, you deserve to be fired for gross negligence.

And yet, every game, JSN is the story. JSN is the G.O.A.T. He has 867 yards receiving; the next-highest player has 651 (CeeDee Lamb). He has 123.9 receiving yards per game; the next-highest player has 101.3 (Zay Flowers). He has 8 receiving TDs; the next-highest player has 6 (Christian Watson and Lamb). There are two running backs ahead of him in scoring, but they have the luxury of being able to plow scores across from the 1-yard line. JSN is doing it from all over the field! The Seahawks famously stink inside the 10-yard line!

It’s one thing to be a great receiver, and maybe take advantage of some garbage time yards or some garbage defenses. But, he’s doing it against the other team’s best shot. He’s doing it with all eyes on him. He’s doing it while everyone KNOWS Darnold has no other viable options; when the Seahawks need a big play, be it a 3rd down conversion or a deep shot to flip the field, he’s looking at JSN. And JSN is delivering, every single game.

They had a graphic up during the KC game that showed the pass catchers who have led the league in receiving yards in back-to-back seasons. Jerry Rice did it twice (of course) – including one 3-season stretch – and Calvin Johnson and Andre Johnson each did it once. JSN is about to be the fourth person on that list, and I would argue he’s the closest player we’ve had to Jerry Rice since Jerry Rice. The way he plays, the way he steps up when everyone’s focused on stopping him, the way he wasn’t necessarily the most highly-touted receiver coming out of college. If I could see anyone approaching Jerry Rice when it’s all said and done, I wouldn’t be shocked if it’s JSN.

I know, we’re getting WAY ahead of ourselves here. He’s not even in the Top 250 of all time receiving yards in NFL history. We’re only in his fourth year. But, let’s just start here: assuming JSN continues on his way through the end of 2026, he will have more yards through four seasons than Rice did in his first four years.

Now, obviously, there’s a LONG way to go. Rice – starting with his second season – had 11 straight years of over 1,000 yards. He fucking had over 1,200 in his age FORTY season! He played to 42 years of age, and only had one year (1997) lost to injury, out of 20. Otherwise, he pretty much played in every game, plus a shit-ton of playoff games. So, you can’t take what Rice did lightly.

That being said, JSN was two years younger when he started his NFL career. He’s been pretty damn healthy so far; I don’t think he’s missed a game. He has the right temperament to be an All Time Great (not a diva like you see from so many WRs; I don’t think it’s a fluke that Rice and Larry Fitzgerald are the top two all time). You have to be really special (like Randy Moss and T.O.) to want to put up with their shenanigans, and I would argue especially Owens’ career could’ve gone on longer if he wasn’t such an A-Hole. It’s just a matter of how much will JSN want to be the #1 all time receiver? He’s certainly living in an age where the health and fitness of players is at an all-time high. I wouldn’t put it past him.

Which is crazy. The fact that we’re talking about JSN among the all-time greats is crazy. But, that’s how elite he’s been.

***

On the defensive side of the ball, the Seahawks have many contenders. How do you honestly pick just one?

Leonard Williams is such a force along that defensive line; he can do it all. Byron Murphy very well might develop – sooner rather than later – into the greatest defensive tackle in the league. Devon Witherspoon is all over the place every single game, and is pound-for-pound the best tackler in the NFL. Derick Hall can take over games on the edge. Ernest Jones and Julian Love are unquestioned leaders and high-impact players up the middle.

But, I don’t know how you can look at Nick Emmanwori and not say he’s the best defensive player in football.

What’s great about Emmanwori is what’s great about this defense as a whole. There isn’t just one thing about him that makes him elite. You can say that about just about everyone. You’re not going to find a sack leader, or an interception leader, or a tackle leader on this team. Instead, you’ve got players who do it all. They’re not out there exclusively chasing stats; they’re out there to pound you into submission.

Emmanwori’s a microcosm of all of this, because there’s doing it all and there’s DOING IT ALL. He’s at the line of scrimmage, stopping the run, chasing down even the most elusive quarterbacks. You’re not running away from Nick Emmanwori; you might as well be in quicksand while a fucking cheetah is pouncing on you!

And, if that’s not enough for you, he’s running step for step with the fastest combine runner in NFL history in Xavier Worthy. Not just trailing him and making a game-saving tackle; ON HIM, and knocking the ball away!

Who’s doing that? Who is blowing up offensive linemen on one play, to maul someone behind the line of scrimmage, and then keeping up with a tiny speed merchant down field on the next?

There’s a reason why you’re seeing Nick Emmanwori more than any other player on defense in any given Seahawks game. Because he’s everywhere. He’s doing everything. Opposing teams know this, but they’re powerless to stop him. The only thing that’s slowed him down in his short NFL career to date has been his own body with injuries. So, you know, he might not be an all-timer. But, he’s playing at a Hall of Fame level right now, in his second year. And you can’t tell me there’s a better defensive player in the NFL (unless you want to talk about some of the other guys I mentioned above, who are also playing for the Seahawks).

You can also see how impactful JSN and Emmanwori are when they’re not out there. The defense lacks a certain juice when Emmanwori is injured. And, clearly, when JSN was banged up during that Thursday Night Game against the Broncos, the offense had no answers. We were lucky he managed to gut his way through it, but when he had to stand on the sidelines for a few plays here and there, we couldn’t do anything!

That’s the ultimate barometer for me, when you’re talking about the best of the best: how much trouble is your team in when those guys are out of the game? The Seahawks are lucky to have so many quality defenders, to withstand an occasional Emmanwori injury. But, this defense is at a completely different level when he’s out there, because he’s fucking amazing.

And, to think that literally any team could’ve drafted Emmanwori, and over half the league could’ve drafted JSN. How lucky are we?!

The Seahawks Defense Dominated The Chiefs

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This was as abusive as we’ve seen a defense play. Especially against Patrick Mahomes. This picture says it all:

This is what the Seahawks needed to do to win this game. This is what the Seahawks needed to do to get the narrative off of Sam Darnold, off of Kenneth Walker, off of Brian Fleury. Make Patrick Mahomes look like he wants to be literally anywhere else, and point it out on national television for the entire world to see.

The Chiefs had 11 first downs. 213 yards. Zero red zone drives. 24 minutes of possession. And 3 points, on a 50 yarder.

I can’t sit here and tell you the Seahawks’ offense was wildly efficient, but I also can’t totally bash them either. It was the usual mixed bag it almost always is. Darnold was 20 for 28 for 257 yards and a TD, but also another back-breaking interception in the endzone that not only cost us 3 points, but almost gave the Chiefs 3 points, and damn near gave them a 109-yard pick six just before halftime. We settled for a 10-0 lead at the half, but it was damn near 10-7 with fucking shitshow potential coming out of the break.

The offense was at one point 9 for 11 on third down conversions, finishing 10 for 16 (and 1 for 1 on fourth downs), with the aforementioned 12 minutes of TOP advantage. But, our three red zone possessions ended with a grand total of 6 points, as our offense apparently is incapable of scoring inside of the 10 yard line this season.

We got 150 yards on 9 catches (with a TD) for JSN. We got 100 yards from Emanuel Wilson on 24 carries (most of them in the second half, including a 21-yard TD scamper late). And, we had a great all-around game from Barner (4 catches for 42 yards, and 3 rushes for 4 yards, all of them converting first downs). But, Charles Cross, Rashid Shaheed, and Velus Jones all left the game with injuries.

Like I said, a mixed bag.

But, the defense was fucking heroic! Walker had 36 yards on 14 carries. Mahomes had 165 yards passing on 19/33, with an INT. Noah Gray and Travis Kelce were co-leading receivers with 44 yards apiece. Derick Hall had our only sack, but Mahomes was hit 7 times, and was uncomfortable most of the night. Nick Emmanwori showed out once again, all over the field. He was largely responsible for the INT by Ty Okada, as he ran Mahomes down outside of the pocket like literally no one ever has before. Leonard Williams was all over the place. Ernest Jones led the team in tackles. Tyrice Knight was second in tackles, including a brilliant TFL on Walker. Jobe and Witherspoon were lockdown. There was no let-up from this group, from beginning to end.

The last drive of the night for the Chiefs – down 20-3, which would be the final score – saw them run 4 plays for 3 yards before turning it over on downs. It almost felt like a relief. In those 34 seconds of game clock, you saw a team totally and completely enfeebled. Like a 300 pound man wrestling a toddler, only, you know, for real. Like, really trying to kick the shit out of that toddler. The Chiefs were all the more relieved when Seattle’s offense managed to run out the final 3:13; they didn’t have to play another snap against this defense.

That’s a load off, let me tell you. It’s nice to have the monkey off our backs. Now, we get to rest until next Monday night, before taking on the Bears at home. I would expect a better offensive effort out of them, but if our defense plays the way they did last night, I would also expect very similar results.

Can The Seahawks Defeat A Rejuvenated Chiefs Team?

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My thought process going into the Thursday Night game in Denver was: it was all about the Seahawks; the opponent was irrelevant. Come out, play clean, you win that game.

Obviously, the Seahawks did NOT play clean, and here we are at 3-3, heading into a Sunday Night Football showdown against the Chiefs. Where I believe the exact opposite: this game is all about the Chiefs.

Kansas City is 5-0. They’re back! In a way. I mean, it’s not like they’re the same as every other great Chiefs team. This one has Kenneth Walker: greatest running back in the world. But, you know, Patrick Mahomes is healthy enough. Andy Reid is still running things. The defense has a few good pieces. The receiving weapons on offense are fine. They’ve beat up on some inept teams, but otherwise are doing just enough to get the W and get out of there.

I don’t know how impressed anyone is with their schedule, but again, this isn’t about their opponents. They hosted a Broncos team with a broken offense and killed ’em. They narrowly defeated a couple of middling teams in Indy and Vegas. And, they beat up on a couple of terrible teams in the Dolphins and Chargers. Their running game is sound, Mahomes is doing Mahomes things, and the defense is just good enough to lean on an excellent offense and put teams away.

So, what can the Seahawks do with this? Well, it depends. I think we’ll be able to score enough on them, but I’m also not going to take their defense lightly! I don’t think we’ll be overly pressured, but when has pressure been required to make Sam Darnold look like a colossal fuck up?

I think our defense will be able to get some stops here and there. But, this game boils down to one matchup and one matchup only: our pass rush against their O-Line.

Can we pressure Mahomes into mistakes?

The Seahawks are good pass rushers. We’re squarely in the upper half of the league in sacks. We give up the fewest yards per game, the fewest passing yards per game, and are 10th in fewest rushing yards per game. I don’t think we’ll completely shut down Walker, but I also don’t see him dominating this game (as much as NBC and the football-viewing public would love to see it). Maybe he gets like 85 yards and a TD. It’s fine; it’s below his average per game. He won’t be The Story coming out of this game, but he also won’t NOT be the story.

No, the story will be: what is Mahomes able to do against this defense? What is he able to do against our secondary? And how much time will his front give him before the likes of Byron Murphy or Derick Hall get in his face?

It kinda scares me, because Brock Purdy is the only quarterback even remotely on Mahomes’ level right now that we’ve played through six games, and he racked up 25 points and a number of big plays throughout that game. Sure, we pressured Purdy – and even sacked him a few times – but he got the better of us. I would say for as good as Purdy has been this season – and don’t get it twisted, he’s on an MVP trajectory thus far – he’s still pretty flawed, especially compared to Mahomes.

Mahomes is only flawed when you can pressure him, particularly with a 4-man front.

I don’t see a way where this game gets away from us. Kansas City – in spite of some of their results to date this season – doesn’t naturally blow teams out all that often. But, the last thing you want to see – even with a defense as elite as ours – is Mahomes with the ball, tied or down one score.

We might get to him a few times throughout the game. But, if we’re not consistently harassing him, I think the Chiefs are pretty relentless, and I ultimately think they’re going to come away winning this game. Something like 31-27.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2026: A Monday Night Collapse

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Previously on Nobody Cares About My Fantasy Football Team:

I just needed one thing on Monday Night Football: don’t let CMC get to 30 points. With a 3-yard reception on the final 49ers drive, he JUST went over 30, and with that, Mulva lost to Beasts by a score of 125.15 to 124.48.

I have to come on here and take my medicine, because between last week’s post, and gameday on Sunday, I swapped Drake London back in for Matthew Golden. Had I just left Golden in there, I would’ve won. It’s nice to know my initial logic was sound. But, when I saw that Penix was healthy and without an injury designation, I was scared off by Yahoo’s projection model. It would’ve crushed me if London was on my bench outscoring who has been effectively my #4 receiver in Golden. The fact of the matter is, I didn’t trust Golden enough, even in a juicy matchup like that one against the Cowboys. I hope to not make that same mistake again.

WAIVER WIRE JAMBOREE: Before the games last Sunday, I was sniping guys left and right. For starters, I picked up Tanner McKee and dropped Ladd McConkey. I just don’t want Ladd on my team anymore. I don’t need the constant reminder of why I’m an idiot. Plus, he can’t seem to stay healthy, and eventually I was going to need to make a move. I saw on Formerly Twitter that Matthew Berry really likes McKee, and he could be a viable quarterback this season for the Eagles. This was before it was announced that Hurts wouldn’t be on IR for just 4 weeks, but out for the remainder of the season. So, we’ll see. Feels like a safer backup QB than Malik Willis. Then, on Sunday morning, when it was announced that Quinshon Judkins would be out, I moved him to my IR slot, waived Alec Pierce, and picked up Tyler Allgeier to start for me. I should’ve known having two Cardinals on my team would be a bad idea. If I’d just gone with Omarion Hampton, I would’ve won last week. Yet another reminder of why I’m an idiot. Finally, this week, I paid a buck to pick up Jonah Coleman and put him in my IR slot, dropping Indy’s useless defense. This is a play for the future and someone I’m hoping will take me to the promised land come playoff time. I just hope everyone’s pre-season projections on Coleman are correct.

This week, I face reigning 2-time champion Korky Butchek. He’s 3-3 just like me, but his team is a lot better than its record (as is mine). Here’s my lineup:

  • QB – Dak Prescott (at PHI)
  • QB – Jordan Love (at DET)
  • RB – Kenneth Walker (at SEA)
  • RB – Quinshon Judkins (at TEN)
  • WR – CeeDee Lamb (at PHI)
  • WR – Drake London (vs. SF)
  • TE – Trey McBride (vs DEN)
  • FLEX – Matthew Golden (at DET)
  • K – Brandon Aubrey (at PHI)
  • DEF – Minnesota (vs. IND)

Parker Washington and Omarion Hampton are both on BYE. On the plus side, I don’t have to worry about changing my defense anymore (unless a bunch of Vikings get injured and I can no longer carry them). We’ll see if Judkins can play, otherwise I might have to make another move.

I have to face a real murderer’s row from Korky: Bryce Young, Caleb Williams, Bijan Robinson, Puka Nacua, Isaiah Likely, the list goes on and on. This isn’t just a dogfight, this is a back-alley, fight-to-the-death dogfight! One of us will be under .500 after this week. I don’t think anyone saw that coming when this season started.

I’m still leading the league in total points by a fairly significant margin. It would be nice to be rewarded for this at some point. Losing two in a row – and potentially three – wasn’t on my bingo card. Why are all of MY games as close as can be?!

GUILLOTINE WATCH:  We lost 4th & Goal Konstantin last week, who just had an overall pretty mediocre week. Leaving Trevor Lawrence on his bench in favor of Patrick Mahomes didn’t do him any favors, as that proved to be the deciding factor in his getting chopped. But, also his team was weak. The only guy I felt compelled to put any money on was Drake London, and even then I wasn’t willing to go over $5 (I was out-bid by $21). Chase Brown went for $25, but I still don’t know what it is exactly that he does well. Does he EVER have big games? Seems like he’s mostly just in the teens. Garrett Wilson went for $13, which might be a steal, but he’s also on the Jets, so how good do you feel putting him in your starting lineup? I guess if you’re desperate.

My team – Vern Fonk – is still looking great. I lost Hurts for the year, but I was able to pick up Matthew Stafford a few weeks back (for free!). I’m rocking with CMC and Derrick Henry at RB. I’ve got Tet McMillan AND Jalen Coker as my starting wideouts. I lost Davante Adams (he’s holed up in my IR spot for the next however many weeks), but I still have DeVonta Smith and Stefon Diggs for my FLEX spots. We’ll see if Cam Skattebo returns to start for the Giants; he’s resting comfortably on my bench. I still have Devaughn Vele as an alternate FLEX (with Diggs on BYE this week). And, to round out my team, I have Coleman as a lottery ticket, as well as the 49ers’ backup RB (Kaelon Black). I’m still streaming defenses (this week, I have the Titans hosting the Browns), but eventually I hope to be able to lock someone down long term. Regardless, I’m pretty stacked for the stretch run. I’ll need another RB for week 8 to fill out a lineup, but unless something goes totally FUBAR, I should easily make it to the Top 6 or so.

2026 Is Shaping Up To Be An All-Time Terrible Seattle Sports Year

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I don’t think anything will ever surpass 2008 as far as soul-crushing years in Seattle sports history are concerned. But, 2026 is making a serious run at the silver medal! Let’s go team by team and take a look at how much this year has sucked.

Seattle Kraken

We can get them out of the way really quickly. The 2025/2026 season ended below .500 for the fourth time out of five years of existence (and the third season in a row). There was a lot of talk as that campaign came to a close about looking inward and making changes. Meanwhile, the roster is pretty much exactly the same. We didn’t get lucky in the draft lottery. The early going of the 2026/2027 season has looked promising, but don’t be fooled by the hot start.

Husky Basketball

In the year 2026, the 2025/2026 Huskies went 7-13 (1-1 in the Big Ten Tournament). That finished off a sub-.500 campaign, which has been everything we’ve known under Danny Sprinkle. And that’s now seven consecutive seasons outside of the NCAA Tournament. This program has been beyond irrelevant, and there’s no reason why that should change in the 2026/2027 season.

Seattle Supersonics

Still no team. The year started out promising enough, with talk of Seattle and Las Vegas being granted exclusive opportunities to present proposals to obtain expansion franchises. Vegas is looking good. They’ve had a bidding war and it appears they’re going to pay upwards of $9-$10 billion to get it going. Seattle, meanwhile, just has the one serious bidder. Because they control the rights to Climate Pledge Arena, thereby scaring away any other potential bidders. Now, the talk is of Vegas getting the Green Light, with Seattle on pause. The hope is that once Vegas is finalized, some of those bidders will try to get something going with Seattle. As always with this saga – indeed dating back to that fateful year of 2008 – I’m not holding my breath. While at least I was leaning towards being positive on this whole endeavor, now it’s looking like it won’t happen, and will probably never happen. Because, if we can’t make it work with a brand new arena and all the money in the world sitting in this region of the world, what hope is there? 2026 strikes again!

Husky Football

Remember when there was talk about Year 3 under Jedd Fisch being the catalyst? How the program has improved every year, and now we’re poised to make the leap to double-digit wins and maybe even a playoff spot? Yeah, throw all that away. Demond Williams is a bust, the team is BARELY 4-3 (with two losses at home to middling Big Ten programs), and we’re all sitting here struggling to project this team to 6 wins and bowl contention. We’re actively rooting for the starting QB to be benched! Suffice it to say, this year did NOT turn out the way it was supposed to.

Seattle Mariners

Famously, there was talk of this team – which had gone to Game 7 of the ALCS in 2025 – making its first-ever World Series run. Instead, we lost 86 games, blew the worst division in all of baseball, fired our manager, and it’s looking pretty fucking bleak for this iteration of The Rebuild. Our vaunted starting rotation is showing its cracks, our hitters have never developed, and our bullpen fucking stinks. I don’t think there’s ever been a more disappointing season in Mariners baseball history – from an expectations perspective – and that’s really saying something, because these are the Seattle Fucking Mariners, and they’ve been disappointing fans for 50 years now.

Seattle Seahawks

The only team we had to hang our hats on, after that abysmal 162-game run of Mariners baseball. We had a Super Bowl championship under our belt, we brought back most everyone from that team, and we were poised to maybe even repeat! Instead, we’ve blown three winnable games, including two to terrible teams in Washington and Denver. Our OC looks like a huge bust (the second such bust in three years), our quarterback can’t get out of his own way, and we’re fucking wasting a generational defense that’s easily the best in all of football. We’re six games into the season and already three games behind the 49ers (plus a tiebreaker disadvantage). So, winning the division seems like a real longshot, and at this point you have to wonder about even making the playoffs. Let’s face it, everything else has blown up in our faces in 2026, so why shouldn’t the Seahawks fail to even crack a wild card spot?

I don’t know about you all, but I’m ready for this year to be over.

The Seahawks Made Another Huge Mistake At Offensive Coordinator

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Probably should’ve seen this coming. No one is going to come in here as a first-time play-caller and nail it right out of the gate.

That’s actually probably not true. I’m sure there have been people who have been phenoms from their very first games. But you just knew Brian Fleury wasn’t going to be one of them.

I hate … so many things about the NFL. One of those things I hate is the utter lack of vision or creativity in the hiring process. All teams do is look at other teams with good offenses and say, “DURR, let’s hire someone from THAT staff, DURR!” It’s how we got Shane Waldron lo those many years ago now. It’s how Zac Robinson has gotten MULTIPLE offensive coordinator jobs in spite of being absolutely terrible at calling plays. They were famously under Sean McVay and hired exclusively because of that. Same goes for Kyle Shanahan guys, of which Fleury is one. Alongside duds like Anthony Lynn and Bobby Slowik.

That’s not to say McVay and Shanahan haven’t also gotten good guys jobs elsewhere. But, it’s just so lazy and stupid to assume that simply by association, we should hire someone because they breathed the same air as those “geniuses”.

Take a look at Ben Johnson; do you know who he worked under initially in his NFL career? Three and a half years of Joe Philbin, followed by three years of Adam Gase. In between, Dan Campbell was an interim head coach in Miami. When Johnson started in Detroit, he was under Matt Patricia of all people, before Dan Campbell eventually took over! So, don’t tell me you need to hire a coordinator under a McVay or Shanahan tree, because it’s flat out wrong!

I also think it’s supremely stupid to hire a first-time play-caller AT ALL when you’re coming off of a Super Bowl and have a goal of going back to another one. We’ve got big boy important things to do, and we don’t have time or energy to waste on babysitting Fleury.

You can make excuses all you want, but I find them to be flimsy and, quite frankly, embarrassing. Yeah, sure, the running backs aren’t great. But, this is the NFL. You’re the OC. Scheme some holes open. You’re looking at the lightest fucking boxes you’re ever going to see! Figure out a fucking way to get them through holes in the line. Because CLEARLY the plays you’re calling aren’t fucking working!

Oh, Anthony Bradford has been out? Really? That’s the other excuse you’re going to lay on me? Our very worst offensive lineman from a year ago is out with injury and all of a sudden everyone else stinks? Maybe, I dunno, adjust your fucking protection schemes!

Or, shit, don’t make Sam Darnold read a fucking novel in the huddle every time he has to call a play, because you have to be so unique as to have the longest fucking play calls in the history of mankind! Why is it every fucking play we’re down under 15 seconds before we’re breaking the huddle? Might that be your idiot OC making things WAY too fucking complicated? If we had more time at the line of scrimmage to assess the defense, maybe the O-Line wouldn’t be blown off their asses every single play!

Why isn’t anyone open? Why does every single throw have to be in the tightest of windows? How are we spacing our receivers? Where are our outlets? Where are our easy completions? What are YOU doing, Brian Fleury, to simplify Sam Darnold’s experience, so he doesn’t feel like he needs to hero ball his way through games?!

The hope is, of course, that these are just natural growing pains, and that this offense will be better by season’s end. But, we don’t have fucking time to wait around for things to click! We’re fucking 3-3. We have four more games before a fucking BYE week. We can’t be shitting the bed, digging a hole that’s too big to get out of, if we want to get back to the playoffs.

There’s still time to catch up to the 49ers, but we have to start stacking wins right fucking now.

It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. With this defense, it’s not like we need a ton from our offense. We just need them to not fuck it up. Sam Darnold shoulders his share of the blame, but I’m looking at this team and I see one major difference from a year ago, and his name is Brian Fleury.

This isn’t the first time this Seahawks organization has bungled the OC hire. Hell, we went through this a couple years ago, right after Mike Macdonald was brought in and Ryan Grubb was our post-Super Bowl hire. Well, Fleury better figure it the fuck out like NOW, or he’s going to be the third consecutive One & Done Seahawks coordinator. Maybe then we’ll fucking learn our lesson and hire someone with actual play-calling experience. And not a 50 year old infant.

Imagine That: The Huskies Won Without Demond Williams

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Look, I didn’t watch the Purdue game. It was Friday night, I took my wife on a nice little date to sushi in Gig Harbor; I had – I don’t want to say zero interest, because it was going to be Elijah Brown’s first career start, over my arch nemesis of the moment Demond Williams – but my interest level wasn’t super high. Certainly not high enough to make this game appointment television.

We didn’t get back until the game was pretty much already decided. I sat down and watched about half of the final quarter, but I got the jist.

Seemed like a BIT of a mixed bag for Brown, but that’ll happen when you throw three picks. The two first quarter picks – one of them on the first play of the game – weren’t great. But, we still had a 7-0 lead in between those two turnovers, which I think is also indicative of the difference between Brown over Williams. Brown finished 21/27 on the day. Three of those incompletions were picks, which means there were only three true incompletions.

Brown also had three touchdown passes, which means our receivers got to eat once again. I don’t know how there isn’t a revolt on this team if Demond is just handed the starting job back after our BYE week. I’m ready to chain myself to Harry The Husky right now with a vest full of TNT, and I’m not even on the team!

It really says a lot when your quarterback can turn it over three times (although, I’m told the third pick wasn’t really his fault) and your team still wins – on the road, in conference play – by a score of 38-26. Brown still had this offense humming. And even our running game got involved! Bonner was 13 for 64 and a TD, and Old Man Cooley was 8 for 113 and a breakaway TD of 53 yards.

I can tell you how this game would’ve went with Demond in there. Instead of being up 24-17 at half, we would’ve been down 17-3. Purdue would’ve kept up the pressure in the second half, and we wouldn’t have started scoring TDs until the 4th quarter of a 26-23 loss. Lots of punts. Lots of go-nowhere runs by Demond. Certainly lots of sacks. And yeah, probably an interception or two. BECAUSE HE SUCKS.

KEEP HIM ON THE BENCH!

You know what’s the worst? We have this BYE week now; it’s our only BYE week of the season for some reason. It’s really the perfect time to hand the keys of this team over to Brown. Let him get all the first-team reps. Prep him for the game in Nebraska. And let’s just see what he can do, you know?

But, Jedd Fisch won’t do that. He’ll go right back to Demond. Demond will find some way to blow that game. There’s a CHANCE we still get to 6-6, but guess what? No fucking way Demond is playing in any bowl game at 6-6. So, we’ll have to turn to Brown regardless, but by then we’re playing in the Duke’s Mayo Bowl or some shit, instead of a much more fun game.

You know, everyone says the Transfer Portal opens up at the worst possible times. Why couldn’t it be open now?! Maybe just open it a crack so Demond can slip out and we can move on with our lives!

The Seahawks Lost Another Stupid Fucking Game They Should’ve Won

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Games like last night’s 17-14 overtime loss to the Denver Broncos on the road make me insane.

What have we been talking about ALL FUCKING WEEK?! What have we been talking about ALL FUCKING SEASON?!

Take care … OF THE MOTHERFUCKING FOOTBALL!!!

This defense is one of the best in the league. SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN AND LET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING DEFENSE WIN YOU THE COCKSUCKING GAME!

I had one key to this God damned game: no fucking turnovers. What do we do? Three More Cunt Fucking Turnovers!

Is Sam Darnold out there just guessing? Is he closing his eyes and just blindly throwing the ball wherever the fuck he wants? I don’t fucking get it. This is Quarterback 101 type shit. This is the type of shit that gets your ass cut. This CERTAINLY isn’t something I will tolerate from a guy looking to get $50-$60 million per year! No fucking way! I’ll take 17 games of Drew Lock right now over that!

It’s not all his fault, of course. There’s other things that bothered me too. Abe Lucas fucking eating a fat dick on the reg. Grey Zabel getting fisted up the ass. The defense gagging up a 16-play, 8 and a half minute touchdown drive. The refs calling a bullshit facemask penalty on Byron Murphy on the subsequent drive, on third down, to keep it going for another eventual touchdown (when his hand essentially grazed the face mask, but definitely didn’t pull or grab it). Cooper Kupp dropping a would-be first down. Rashid Shaheed having his best receiving day in a Seahawks uniform, but also fumbling the ball twice (recovering one on a kickoff, but having to settle for shitty field position in the process). Jason Myers missing a very easy field goal attempt that would’ve been the deciding points in regulation.

But guess what. The last taste in our mouths? Sam Darnold’s second fucking interception in the span of three drives, costing us the game by pretty much putting Denver in field goal position. With the game on the line, TWICE Sam Darnold shit in his own mouth. It’s really quite impressive how mind-bogglingly fucking stupid he is, especially since those weren’t his only turnover-worthy throws. Oh there were others! They just happened to be drops.

Say what you will about Bo Nix and the Broncos, but they had the exact offensive gameplan I wanted out of the Seahawks: couple of touchdown drives and 8 fucking punts. Inject it into my fucking veins!

The Seahawks get no credit for overcoming an 11-point deficit in the fourth quarter. They get no credit for entirely shutting down the Denver offense in the second half. Because they should’ve won this fucking game. And, once again, Sam Darnold fucking killed us.

Wonder why you’re always ranked lower than even the most middling quarterbacks in the league? Because you have too many games like last night. Take a look in the fucking mirror, Darnold. Because your ass is going to get himself benched if you keep throwing these fucking games away.

It Would Be Ideal For The Seahawks To Win This Week

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I think every time the Seahawks play a team from the AFC West, it should be throwback jerseys for both teams. That being said, it wouldn’t really hit as hard with the Chiefs or Raiders, as they haven’t changed a whole lot though the years. My point being: it’s going to look REALLY fucking cool to see the Seahawks and Broncos in their classic jerseys from the 80’s and 90’s tonight.

I want to have a higher concern level for this game, but I just flat out think the Seahawks are better than the Broncos. Bo Nix is fine, but he’s not really anything special until you get to the 4th quarter, in which case you kind of have to ride the rollercoaster and hold on for dear life. They don’t have a running game I’m all that impressed with. Jaylen Waddle is okay, but as far as #1 receivers go, I would expect the Seahawks to shut him down. Courtland Sutton is also just okay, and he’s definitely a far cry from Mike Evans, so it’s not like I’m super worried about Jobe having another wretched week. Really, no one or nothing about their offense scares me; I would expect the Seahawks to keep them under 20 points and maybe even under 15.

On the flipside, Denver’s defense is one of the better defenses, but they’re quite banged up in the secondary, and I would say they haven’t looked quite as elite overall as they were in 2025. I’m not going to sit here and expect the Seahawks to move it up and down the field, but I think we should be able to get over 20 points in this one. I kinda see this as a 24-14 victory.

The only way that changes, obviously, is if the Seahawks’ offense plays the same kind of sloppy game they’ve played the last three weeks. The biggest reason why we’ve given up as many points as we have is due to the offense turning the fucking ball over. The biggest reason why our Red Zone Defense is as poor as it is is due to the offense giving other teams short fields!

It’s hard to score touchdowns on the Seahawks when you have to go three-quarters of the length of the field. It’s a lot easier when you get the ball on our 30 yard line and only have to make a couple of plays before you hit paydirt.

I’m not looking for anything else out of this team. Fuck the running game; I don’t care if we average less than a yard per carry. Just don’t give the other team the fucking football in a turnover! The Seahawks WILL win this game if we don’t turn it over; I guarantee it.

What’s starting to irk me is when people say, “Oh, but you don’t want to neuter Sam Darnold! You want him to make the great plays he makes, and he can only do that if he’s free to be himself!” But, I dunno. I think I’m fine without the great plays. I think I’m fine with him being super conservative with the football. Why don’t we just TRY it and see what it’s like? We don’t have to commit to anything; if we don’t like it, he can go right back to Slingin’ Sammy or whatever. But, let’s just – you know – take care of the football, settle for modest gains, be happy with punts, and lean on our defense to get it done. If we win 13-7, so be it. Yeah, it’ll be boring, but it’ll be a win!

I would say one of the biggest challenges in all this has nothing to do with the Broncos as a team. It’s a short week, after a bruising game against the 49ers, and going on the road to a mile-high stadium. These are the kind of games that get you injured. These are the kind of games where – if you’re already injured, like JSN or Leonard Williams, and you’re playing at less than 100% – you’re worried for their availability going forward. Maybe a mild foot or low ankle strain turns into a high ankle sprain or a hamstring pull. Maybe something that would’ve recovered by Sunday is instead exacerbated on a Thursday and you’re out for 4-8 weeks.

So, let’s just everyone be careful out there tonight. Get the W and get out of there alive.