A Paragraph With The Mariners – 62

I love Cliff Lee. Can I say that? I’m a grown-ass man (as opposed to a grown ass-man) and, from what my dick tells me, I prefer the fairer sex to whatever the hell they call dudes (the hairier sex?), but I’m gonna tell you this right now: if by some crazy never-gonna-happen-in-a-million-years fluke Cliff Lee sticks with the Mariners long-term, I would – every five days – let him stick it in me. Let that mean whatever he wants it to mean, I would let Cliff Lee make my body his wonderland. So long as he pitched for the Mariners. If that’s wrong, so help me God I don’t WANT to be right! Everything I read about this team lately says the same damn thing: This Could Be Lee’s Last Start Here, Appreciate Him While You Can. If last night’s game is indeed his last start with the team – complete game, 1 run in an 8-1 win – what a way to go. For the record, that’s back-to-back complete game 1-run efforts. Boy oh boy, the bounty we’re going to nab for Cliff Lee; it makes me glad Bill Bavasi isn’t around to collect a bunch of useless lumps for who is probably – I guess aside from Randy Johnson – the greatest pitcher the Seattle Mariners have ever had. What can I say; I’m gonna miss the guy. This season is definitely going to feel exponentially worse – if that’s even possible – once he’s gone. Even considered for a moment picking up HIS jersey … but you can’t buy a guy’s jersey if he’s only pitched for 2 months can you??? I don’t think so; I think that’s frowned upon. By me. Then again …

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