A Paragraph With The Mariners – 78

I would be remiss if I didn’t at least once this year get in on the rumor-mongering circuit. Not because I want to puff myself up and pretend like I Was Right All Along about Rumor X … just because rumor-mongering is what makes the world go ’round. There have been plenty, apparently, so far about Cliff Lee and who we might potentially be getting for him. One of the more popular ones revolved around the Minnesota Twins and someone named Wilson Ramos. Consider me not-that-impressed with the likes of that guy (also, I guess there was some Class A prospect who had a lot of upside). It’s no secret that the Mariners need help at Catcher like a fat kid needs cake to soothe the emotional wounds of taunts from the kids at school … so all you really need to create a decent-sounding rumor is A. pick a team still in the playoff race, B. weed out the ones who don’t have readymade catching prospects, and C. pick at random enough filler to include around that catching prospect to make the deal sound believable. Of course, there probably isn’t much point to it now, as all signs – even the front page of ESPN – are pointing to a trade with the Yankees involving some kid named Jesus Montero. He’s a “Catcher” in name only; what he really is is some giant mammoth of a human being who’s projected to just mash the shit out of baseballs like Frank Thomas back in his heyday. And he’s only 20 and already in AAA. I’m not gonna lie to you, I would LOVE this deal. Two things are cause for pause though. 1. it’s the fucking Yankees. FUCK the fucking Yankees. I’d rather give Cliff Lee to the Twins for nothing than just hand the Yankees yet another ring; besides, they’re just going to sign him in the offseason anyway. and 2. we play the Yankees today. It’s Cliff Lee’s turn in the rotation today. If I go home today and find that Cliff Lee is in a Yankees uniform pitching against the Mariners, I’m going to be the saddest panda who’s ever lived. I might even open up a couple veins. This can’t happen. Not today. GIVE ME ONE MORE GAME JACK!!!

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