A Paragraph With The Mariners – 86

Another night, another shutout. The Mariners are 3-14 in July. With the exception of Kansas City (who swept us in 3 games), every single team we have played or will play this month is in the running for a playoff birth (Yankees, Tigers, Yankees, Angels, White Sox, Red Sox, White Sox, Twins). You could say things might improve in August, but let’s face it, every team playing outside the Baltimore area might as well be a playoff team when it comes to the Seattle Mariners. We’re nobody’s foe. We’re a team of slap-hitters and no-hitters. We’re so bad we can’t even give away our useless regulars in hopes to Give The Kids A Shot. Nobody wants Bradley or Kotchman or Rob Johnson or Figgins or Jack Wilson or Jose Lopez. And yet, we have to play these fucks because the guys I actually like – Branyan, Sweeney, Saunders, Langerhans – can’t fucking stay healthy. On the bright side, Mr. Douglas Fister bounced back for the Quality Start against a Quality Lineup in the White Sox. Of course, he could’ve went 27-up and 27-down and it still wouldn’t have made shit for difference since we were 2-hit. Felix goes tonight. I’m attending the game TOMORROW night. If we win either one, I’d probably die of shock.

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