A Paragraph With The Mariners – 132

I couldn’t possibly hate this team more right now.  Hate isn’t even the right word though.  Neither is “pathetic” when it comes to this fucking offense.  This offense is the worst possible thing you could imagine.  This offense is a small child drowning in a bathtub full of human excrement.  I don’t even give a shit that the Mariners won last night!  What’s the fucking point?  Since these sons of fucking bitches couldn’t manage to score one measly fucking run off of Dan Fucking Haren of all fucking people, I cease giving a shit whether this team wins or loses.  ONCE AGAIN, Felix dominates over the course of 7 innings, striking out 8 while only giving up 3 singles and 3 walks.  ONCE AGAIN, they have to pull him as he’s over 100 pitches and there’s no fucking sense in overusing his arm in a meaningless season – a season MADE meaningless because of this child-drowning-in-shit offense.  I mean God damn.  All I ask is that you win 1 out of every 5 games, and that that 1 win goes to Felix.  Is that so hard?  I mean, it’s not like he’s MAKING it hard; his ERA is 2.38!  Hey, here’s something:  how many earned runs do you think Felix gave up in the month of August?  How about 4 in 43.2 innings over 6 starts.  FOUR!  What’s his record in those 6 starts (well SURELY it’s 6-0, I mean golly gee how can you give up 4 earned runs over 6 starts and not win them all …) … Oh, that’s right, Felix was 3-2.  I fucking hate this team so much.

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