Da Weekly Preview of Da Bears

Honestly, I have NO idea what to make of the Bears this year.  They probably should have lost to the Lions.  They beat a bad Cowboys team.  I picked them at home against Green Bay on Monday Night, but that was mostly a lark and not an indication of who I thought would ACTUALLY win the game.  Then, they just get CLOBBERED by the Giants by getting sacked 9 million times and losing their quarterback to a concussion.  THEN, with their quarterback out, they proceed to stink up the joint, yet still win because – hey, Carolina is the worst team in football!

In other words, I know the Bears are 4-1, I just don’t know HOW they’re 4-1.

I know what the Seahawks are:  they’re losers on the road.  No ifs ands or buts.  So, here’s why they’re going to lose this week:

Matt Forte is flippin’ unbelievable.  That’s a fact.  I’ll hedge a little bit and say that Carolina’s OFFENSE is the worst OFFENSE in football (and yes, I’m taking Buffalo into account).  Carolina’s defense isn’t half bad; and Forte just carved them up like a turkey that’s been in the oven for 12 hours.  Fallin’ off the BONE, son!  300 yards doesn’t sound like a lot – indeed, it’s only 8th in the NFC – but you got to take into account the Bears had negative-9,000 rushing yards in that Giants game.  He’s still averaging over 4 yards per carry.  Plus he has 231 receiving yards and 5 total touchdowns.  That’s pretty much what you’d call a Fantasy Stud.

The defense has 9 sacks in 5 games.  To put it in perspective, the Giants had 9 sacks in the first HALF against the Bears (as you can see, I can’t get enough of the defensive onslaught they posed in that game).  Nevertheless, Urlacher is healthy.  That’s a problem for all of our intermediate routes we like to run.  That’s also a problem for a running game we can’t seem to get going (this time with more Marshawn Lynch).  They also have 14 turnovers as a defense, which will do wonders for giving your team a chance to win (as the Seahawks can relate).  Finally, HEY, they have Orange Julius!  Yeah, he’s only got 2 sacks to this point.  But guess what?  He’ll be going against a rookie offensive lineman for most – if not all – of the game.   Those 2 sacks could easily be 5 sacks by this time next week.

They have Jay Cutler back at full health after missing a week due to a concussion.  Too bad the Giants couldn’t have hit him a little harder two weeks ago; I would’ve relished the opportunity to go up against someone named Caleb Hanie.  Cutler had a bad year last year, there’s no getting around that.  But, this year, he’s cut down the interceptions (relatively; 3 in 4 games played), his completion percentage is off the charts (66.7%), and he’s got a QB rating over 100.  Sure, he doesn’t have a bona-fide number 1 receiver.  But Knox is no slouch.  And Greg Olson last year totally shredded our defense.

Even if the Seahawks didn’t have the Hex Of The Road Game all over them like a skunk’s spray, even if they were your average, run of the mill 8-8 team (someone like Philly or Denver or Jacksonville), they’d have a tough time winning this game this Sunday.  Tomorrow, I’ll tell you why I’m defying ALL odds and picking the Seahawks to win anyway.

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