I.  Told.  You.  So.

Mother. Fucker.

You know what you have to do when you’re on the road and you haven’t won on the road against a non-division opponent in quite some time and the team you’re playing against right now just went down on their first drive – aided by a bogus pass interference penalty (I’ve got a big problem with how this is being called/not called at the whim of idiots) – and got a score to go up 7-0?

You go right back down the field and tie that shit up on a 22-yard pass to Deon Butler!  That’s what the fuck you do!

If I just ran the Seahawks highlights of the game for you, without telling you the score, my guess is you’d think it was a pretty bad blowout for the road team.  We held the Bears to 0 for 12 on 3rd down.  We sacked Cutler 6 times (once for a safety) and hit him 9 times while getting 7 other tackles for loss.  We held Matt Forte to 11 yards rushing on 8 carries and held the Bears as a team to 61 yards on 14 carries.  And their quarterback didn’t throw a touchdown.

How, with that kind of a defensive performance, did the game end up 23-20?  A 58-yard penalty (the aforementioned bullshit), an 89-yard punt return for a touchdown (why kick to Devin Hester?  Why???), and let’s face it, our offense probably wasn’t as sharp as it could’ve been.  No, we didn’t turn the ball over, but we had to punt TEN times!

Marshawn Lynch made his Seahawks debut and looked MUCH better than his 44-yard stat line.  He ran hard, he broke tackles, he turned would-be losses into gains.  In other words:  he was the anti-Julius Jones (who falls upon initial contact like he’s ducking under a table for an Earthquake drill).  Justin Forsett seemed weirdly energized, averaging 6.7 yards per carry on 10 plays.  Mike Williams broke out for a monster 10-catch, 123-yard performance, and Big Play Babs lived up to his name with 1.5 sacks (including that safety), 2 other tackles for loss, and a quarterback hit.

Our defense REALLY stole the show in Soldier Field.  The blitz package – especially from our secondary – really had Cutler behind the 8-ball.  Probably didn’t help much that all of their plays take forever go get going.  Hey Martz, how about some 3-step drops so your most prized commodity doesn’t get killed?  Hey Martz, how about throwing your QB a bone and giving him a running back or two to help out with blocking on blitzes?

Hey, Brian Billick!  Yeah, you, who did color for the game on Fox!  Why don’t you go easy on Martz for not running the ball so much.  If you knew anything about the NFL, you’d know that the Seahawks have a Top-5 defensive unit against the run!  If you knew anything about the NFL, you’d stop calling our D-line “small” and “under-sized” when we’re starting three defensive tackles in a 4-3 Defense.  Who hired you Brian Billick?  Shut up!

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