I’m not even going to bother with trotting out stats. It’s Miguel Olivo! He sucks! And he’s our starting catcher for the next two years (barring sanity-relieving major injurie(s)).
In case you’ve blocked Miguel Olivo out of your memory, he embodies the worst traits of both Rob Johnson and Jose Lopez. Passed balls will be a big part of our lives once again, so look forward to that. Surely that means any hopes of extending Felix in games will be in jeopardy as his pitch counts will be elevated thanks to a limp-dick catcher’s mitt.
And, while batting, Olivo couldn’t possibly be bothered to take a fucking walk. In fact, he swings at anything and everything, only unlike Vlad Guerrero, Miguel Olivo sucks dick and misses a ton. And when he DOES hit the ball a long way, it’s always ALWAYS to left field. Which is a son of a whore when you play at Safeco Field, because left field is a fucking mile long.
But, that’s baseball I guess. As soon as you get rid of one crap sandwich, management loses their fucking minds, forgets about all the traits that made the recently-released crap sandwich so shitty, and signs another fucking turd burger in replacement. And the cycle continues until ultimately the GM is fired and we start all over again with a new GM saddled with the last GM’s excrement.
Hey! 60% of our off-season available payroll has been spent on Olivo and Cust! Only in America Seattle!