Here’s my advice to you; I’ve never been so sure of anything in all my life. My almighty gut has a hunch so huge, you’d all be FOOLS to ignore me!
Go to wherever it is that you keep all of your important documents, take every deed for everything you own, then go to your stockbroker and liquidate all of your assets there, THEN go to the bank, take out a loan for however much money you can possibly get, and finally – while at the bank – take every last penny out of your savings and checking accounts.
Take all this money and put it on the Mariners WINNING tonight. I’ve never been so sure of anything in all my LIFE!
Am I basing this on anything tangible? Of course I’m not, it’s my Gut’s feeling! He’s been known to be wrong before, but never about something he’s SO sure of.
Felix is going to take the mound today and he’s simply going to thrash the everloving out of the Blue Jays. Look for our first shutout of the season. Bank on it. You won’t be sorry (indeed, you’ll likely be very much richer if you follow my get-rich-quick scheme).