Kyle Seager Is A Seattle Mariner, I Guess

So, I guess all you have to do is get really hot down in Tacoma for a couple weeks and you’re the next hot Seattle Mariner prospect.

Because that’s LITERALLY what just happened yesterday.  We’re willing to ride whatever gravy train we can get our hands on, if it means not having to watch guys like Chone Figgins and Jack Cust flail around like assholes.

Granted, you could probably take any player from any level of the minor leagues and he’d be a better fit for this team than Chone Figgins, but still.  This says almost NOTHING of the ability of Kyle Seager and everything of the abilities of these current Mariner hitters.  How fucked up is it that we can pencil in performances like yesterday’s 2-hit comedy festival before they even happen, based solely on the fact that Chone Figgins is starting at third base?

Not that he’s our only problem, or even our MAIN problem anymore.  Franklin Gutierrez isn’t a Major League baseball player right now.  Carlos Peguero has NEVER been a Major Leaguer.  Justin Smoak is in a full-fledged nosedive, Brendan Ryan is barely clinging to a .250 batting average, and Adam Kennedy is 35 fucking years old.

At least we have Ackley.  And now, we’ve got his college teammate.  If Kyle Seager works out, we may have to bring in that entire North Carolina baseball team and give them their hacks.

This year is truly unprecedented.  All these young hitters getting a chance with the Major League club when, by all rights, most of them should still be in Triple-A.  Obviously, you can’t expect them all to shake out in your favor.  Ackley looks like a winner, Smoak looks like he’s here to stay (though, he’s going to need to run into a hot streak sooner or later), and Halman looks like he could be a decent fourth outfielder.  Is Kyle Seager our new third baseman going forward?  I guess we’ll find out.

That’s one good thing about being dead last in all important offensive catagories:  we’re ALWAYS going to have a chance to find out if a player is ready for promotion or not.

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