Seahawks Preseason 2011, Game 2: Minnesota

If I were going to draw conclusions from the first two preseason games, I’d have to say that in spite of having some talented players, the Seahawks are going to be a terrible football team in 2011.

But, of course, nobody in his right mind would ever draw conclusions based on the first two preseason games because that’s retarded.  Still doesn’t change the fact that when things have somewhat mattered – in the first couple drives of the San Diego game and in the first half of last night’s game – the Seahawks have looked mediocre on defense and downright Gawdawful on offense (with little-to-nothing to write home about on special teams either).

Even though I obviously don’t care for the guy, I’m not going to kill Tarvar after yesterday’s game.  The offensive line is sucking my will to live right now (as I knew it would, because of all the youth on it coming into the season), and it’s not just the right side.  Even Robert Gallery wasn’t all that sharp yesterday.  The only guy I saw any fight out of was Max Unger who looks like the real fucking deal at center.  Aside from his play, Max Unger just SOUNDS like the name of a Pro Bowl center, doesn’t it?  Maybe not this year, but soon, and for a long time.  Mark my words.

Also, if Golden Tate could catch a fucking ball, maybe we’d be singing a different tune about Tarvar.  Hell, if there was any way Tarvar could’ve made chicken salad out of that chicken shit offensive line (by, you know, leading us on a scoring drive or two), I dare say I might even be praising the guy.  Of course, Golden Tate saw to it that we not only wouldn’t score, but we’d give the other team a free defensive TD thanks to his bobbling.

We can’t have Golden Tate sucking dick like this going forward.  He’s really the only receiver that’s able to generate separation thanks to his speed.  We drafted him to be an impact receiver, and he needs to get it together in his second season.  If he finds a way to put it all together – route-running, speed, hands, instincts – he could be one of the most dangerous receivers in all of football.  Let’s hope yesterday was just a minor bump in the road.

Just like I’m not going to bash Tarvar, I’m also not going heap a whole lotta praise upon Touchdown Jesus.  He clearly had better numbers, but he also played against Minnesota’s reserves.  Maybe, if all the starters in the National Football League somehow died of a mysterious illness, leaving every team to play only backups, then I’d say the Seahawks have a better-than-good chance to go pretty far.  But, that’s ridiculous.

I will say this:  I flat out just feel more comfortable with Charlie Whitehurst under center.  That says nothing of the man’s actual ability, it’s just a feeling.  Odds are, if Charlie started this game today instead of Tarvar, he would’ve been planted on his ass with the same amount of regularity.  Nevertheless, I’ve seen what appears to be great strides out of the guy since last year.  I like his instincts, I like his aggressiveness.

As for the rest of the team (specifically the defense), I liked what I saw out of Leroy Hill.  I honestly don’t remember a whole lot of standout performances out of the guy in his career as a Seahawk, but yesterday he was all over the place making plays.  On the flipside, Kelly Jennings was once again made to look like an idiot on a long pass play.  SO GLAD HE’S BACK ON THE TEAM!!!  Actually, I’m so glad they’re giving Brandon Browner every opportunity to make this football team.  It just goes to show that a guy from the CFL is light years better than Kelly Jennings.

Hell, an old lady in a walker is better than Kelly Jennings.  God, that’s it, I’m done.

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